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Finally, a reality check (albeit a small one) in the legal system. Unfortunately I think there will be plenty of other judges ready to step in and perform their "civil duty" by throwing the book at the accused as hard as possible.
I do like the phrase from the article: "What it boils down to is that violence against a woman is anything she says it is." That is the absolute truth about DV cases, and I'm glad statements like these are being placed in articles. Still, it's Canada we're talking about. I'm personally not going to be holding my breath any time soon waiting for things to change for the better, but mind you, I'm still hopeful.
"Stereotypes are devices that save a biased person the trouble of learning."
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...In the case in front of him, the man was charged after police were called by his daughters. Preliminary evidence showed the man told his girls to clean up a mess they made in the home and, when they refused, he displayed anger....
...Judge Gosselin pointed out that if both parents had shown anger, there would have been no case in front of him. He said as he understood the situation in the home at the time, he, too, would have been angry and insisted the girls clean up their mess. "This is not criminal."
If the man obviously isn't a criminal then why was he even arrested? Why did the children have the power to call 911 because he displayed anger and told them to clean-up their toys?
This statement demonstrates how far the feminist have pushed the DV laws with the tacit consent of the larger female public. So, now we finally discover that if a father expresses anger, it is a criminal offence. It is sad that so many men are ignorant of this fact. Worse, in Canada, children have the right to call 911 and have him arrested for virtually any reason. DV has become anything that a women or children say it is. There is no longer a rational definition.
If the feminist truly wanted equality they would do men a favor and stop this nonsense. However, their inaction proves that they have an agenda of criminalizing men for any minor reason. In addition, the women in the public grant tacit consent by their silence. They cannot claim ignorance of this crisis. This practice is just too widespread. In this way women as a group are responsible for these practices and consent to them.
I must also point out that CA is in lockstep with Canada in this practice of arresting men for such pathetic reasons. When there is clearly a massive scale of such false arrest, it is impossible for the public to be unaware of these injustices.
These injustices involve millions of men that are telling their stories in social circles. Yet, when they vocalize such stories, women routinely shame them for having been arrested no matter what the reason. Therefore, it is reasonable to infer that women in general want men systematically criminalized. When women stop this practice of systematically criminalizing men they can credibly claim they more noble intentions. Until then, women as a group have a serious psychological and social problem that is in fact resulting in the systematic preaching of male hatred.
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I have to respectfully disagree with much of your post, Warble. I do concur with your sentiments regarding the ever-expanding definition of abuse employed by DV advocates and feminists in general. These definitions get them funding through hyper-inflated statistical half-truths, and create a presumtion of guilt based on what is not at all a moderate or reasonable view of what consititutes abuse.
That said, I do not share your view that women are guilty of tacit consent to these measures. Frankly, the notion of "collective guilt" is at the very heart of modern fem-theory, and if ever we needed an example of how skewed and illogical a philosophy can become under the influence of group identity politics, feminist philosophy is that example. We are talking about the flip-side of the group identity coin here. I have never been involved in community or political activism on behalf of rape victims, but I'm not guilty of tacit consent when someone is raped. I have never actively battled racial discrimination...I have, in fact, watched it happen my entire life and have never done one damn thing about it, really, other than to avoid engaging in it myself.
And that's all we can ask of most people. My wife is an activist in her own way, staying on call at night and on weekends, spending her free time working with victims of sexual assault. For myself, I am embroiled in a fight for academic freedom of thought and expression, taking on the biggest feminist establishment in the city for the sake of universal liberty in the schools. But neither of us begrudges the other. She is not responsible for what is going on in that Women's Studies department. And I'm not responsible for the jaded, uncaring and cynical male physicians she has to deal with.
Go after the radicals. Fight injustice. But I would advise us all to avoid the "Animal Farm" syndrome, wherein the opprssed become the oppressors. If feminism has taught the world anything, it should at least teach us that.
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I have never actively battled racial discrimination...I have, in fact, watched it happen my entire life and have never done one damn thing about it, really, other than to avoid engaging in it myself.
When an individual witnesses an objectionable incident and fails to voice an objection that is by definition tacit consent.
If you see discrimination and fail to say, hay I think that was wrong and then avoid it, you are by definition giving tacit consent to racism.
This statement precisely proves my point.
Go after the radicals. Fight injustice. But I would advise us all to avoid the "Animal Farm" syndrome, wherein the opprssed become the oppressors. If feminism has taught the world anything, it should at least teach us that.
Well said.
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"He has an acknowledged drinking problem and said medication he was taking exacerbated his anger. He shouted threats. His wife's reaction to the affair was that her husband wasn't thinking straight."
What clues can be taken from this? Was he drinking at the time of the incident? When the police came? It doesn't say. Why do they include it in the commentary?
"Judge Gosselin pointed out that if both parents had shown anger, there would have been no case in front of him."
Was the mom present at the incident? Did she not care about the mess, or just wasn't as angry about, or what?
I go thru that mess/anger thing sometimes. Who doesn't, who is a parent? It sounds like in this case, the judge made a good call, though I wonder about that acknowledged drinking problem. I hope he's getting help for it.
On the one hand, a child who is truly being abused has to have a place to turn for help. On the other hand I can see where kids can report their parents for trivialities, not thinking of the long term ramifications for doing so.
I ran away once when I was six. I wasn't mad or abused or anything;I just saw a commercial geared at helping runaways and thought it would be fun. Then the social worker had to come out to the house, and it was a big mess for my parents and for us kids. County intervention in that incident was definitely overkill. On the other hand, you read of kids who fall through the cracks and wind up dead at the hands of parents or foster parents.
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I remember on the false accusations mailing list a woman came by and said that her kids were taken away because an anonymous reported abuse. After months of mother refusing to take her kids back but give up her husband AND children saying no abuse had taken place, the couple finally got their kids - on the condition that the father never raise his voice again. I believe she was in the US, so apparently this isn't only in one place. fun.
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Armstrong Williams is a Pheminist Butt-Monkey.
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/Armstrongwillia ms/aw20020305.shtml
My Email to him:
I lived in an abusive relationship for several years, and I know what screams are stifled. And it's the voices of men.
I had scalding water thrown on me, pans full of hot grease, and glassware. I was struck while asleep, in the shower, or while cooking dinner. I woke up to a knife at my throat. I would often hang out in coffehouses at night circling the block until my wife left for her job so I could have some peaceful sleep, I'd stay at motels, and rise and leave early when I did come home.
There was no shelter for me because I was a man. If I took my child I would be hunted down because I was a man.
I called the police. One laughed at me, and his partner got in my face and screamed and spit at me about "taking responsibility for what you did" because women don't batter. As a result of her battering I was told to leave.
I wasn't allowed to drive because I might have a concussion from the knot on my head and the blood running from the cut on my forehead. But it wasn't serious enough to arrest her.
I tried to file charges. I wasn't given an incident report, nor would the prosecutor see me. This was a mistake, because upon seeing that there were no consequences, the battering increased.
She refused to attend counseling. When I went, It was terminated because I wasn't confrontiong my abusive nature. It had to be me. Because women don't batter.
I was warned, of course, that attempts to defend myself would result in charges against me, because - you guessed it - women don't batter. So I had nothing to defend myself against, q.e.d.
I had to leave the house to save my life. This of course made me an "abandoner of family." I lost my house, my car, my job, and see my son every other week while paying over half my check in child support.
You'll pardon me, then, when I say your column was a slap in my face.
And maybe you'll understand why I say that so long as they ignore US - who cares about THEM?
****************
Read about it here:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/Armstrongwillia ms/aw20020305.shtml
Email him here:
a r i g h t s i d e @ a o l . c o m
---- Burn, Baby, Burn ----
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I helped two of my male friends (one being my ex-husband) out of abusive relationships. I had to tell them that they were being abused, that they didn't deserve to be treated like that, and to get out. I also told them both, whatever you do, don't hit back. The other thing I did, as I was acquainted with the women, was to tell them that what they were doing was wrong. One of the women was very young, had grown up in that sort of violent environment and really didn't consider it abuse until another, somewhat older woman took her aside and explained that grownups in relationships do not hit eachother. I think it did give her some pause for thought; until she tried to run him over with her car.
In the other situation my ex's girlfriend actually bragged about it to me on the phone. She thought I would find it funny, or maybe she thought I'd be jealous 'cause she was "handling" him the "right" way. I don't know. I had a conversation with her about domestic violence and then a conversation with him about getting out and safe. Unfortunately they are both a little insane and had an on/off thing going for some time before he finally got away completely.
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