Happy Valentine's Day honey. What are you giving me?
Let's change the topic.
[In high pitched, whining voice] No engagement riiiing???
How about a milk bone?
.......Hey, that was a hidden dig at me, wasn't it? What are you implying?
Before you get down off the furinture, look at the romantic gifts I bought: breath mints for you and Wild Turkey for me!
You've got money... I expect a ring, and now! AND SEX!!!
So do I, but you don't see me bugging you about it. Care for some Slim Fast?
What are you saying? That I'm too fat? That you'd rather do synchronized swimming with Angella Landsbury or have a picture of Roseann Barr tatooed to the insides of your eyelids?
You can cry, you can whine, you can threaten me with sex , but I'm not proposing.
Look honey, I bought you this shiny new earring. Now if you'll just bend way, waaaay over and let me pierce your ear with this [huge Bowie] knife..... YAAAAA!!!
[Psycho bitch lunges to slash boy friend's throat but misses and only nicks him.]
Hello, 911? I'd like to report an attempted murder.
Hey, are you suggesting that I have violent tendencies? Just wait, buster! We women get way with murder, and you only have a scratch! Wait till you see my Halloween gift!
The Madcap Misogynist