Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men
by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
Hyperion Books, NY, 2001

Men are an underrepresented group in the self-improvement section of most bookstores. Of course, men don't read such books as often as women do, so this policy is just good business. However, this makes me wonder why Richard Carlson decided to write this book. I feel it was not so much to make money, but to deliver a book that he thinks will benefit men.

As it states on the back cover, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Men concentrates on helping men reduce stress, and gain more peace and joy in their lives. This book is an excellent tool for doing so. It is divided into 100 essays, each a short lesson describing a different life strategy. It's a small book, but this format guarantees a high level of content for a book this size.

This is not a book that you'll want to plow through in a day or two. Instead, read two or three lessons each morning, and try them on during the day. And as is the case for any self-improvement book, to make a lasting change you need to review it again and again, so you don't fall back into the old patterns.

There is some repetition among the lessons. For example, several lessons have to do with being less serious, keeping perspective, and staying present. However, if you stick to the 2-3 lessons a day plan, this won't matter. The author repeats the material that he feels is most important, so as you work through the book, you'll be continuously reminded of its central message.

This is not a self-improvement book that promises a plan for grand achievement. It doesn't play to some masculine ideal. Instead, it's simply human. The author wants men to be feel free to live, not just feel pressured to achieve.

The author also doesn't fall into the pattern of trying to define what a real man is. I've read a couple other books "for men," to find them full of statements such as "A man does not X," or "A real man must Y." It's common for men to say a nd write such things, for they think that if they're defining what a real man is, then they must be one, themselves. Instead, Dr. Carlson clearly values all men, wherever they may be, and simply makes suggestions that he believes will help them live richer lives.

As mentioned, the lessons touch upon priorities, handling stress, being less serious, keeping perspective, and staying present. However, I believe it's the more singular lessons that give the book its real value. Some of my favorite lessons follow.

In "Learn About Life from Golf," Dr. Carlson uses golf to create a refreshing perspective on life. "When you're playing effectively, you're completely absorbed in the moment. You're fully present. ... You're relaxed, yet focused. You're having fun. While you're focused on the ball, you're nevertheless aware of the beauty that surrounds you."

"Spend Time with Your Buddies" is an important lesson for men. There are real benefits for men to maintaining a group of friends, and being active with them. Unfortunately, it's easy for men to let other priorities eliminate time for friend ship. Or, they may think that a wife or girlfriend will satisfy all of their needs. This is unrealistic and unhealthy.

"Let Go of the Past" is a simple and powerful lesson for both men and women. It may seem obvious, but how easy is it? Dr. Carlson gives some tools to help: "Seeing our past as memory -- as thoughts carried through time (nothing more or less ) -- is an extremely powerful insight." So seeing the past as a memory, not as a part of you, will help you shake it loose so you can act, uninhibited, in the present.

At $11.95, the book is a great value if you're the type who can read helpful advice and put it into practice.