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Sigh. More bigotry from the bureaucrats.
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Dear Senator Murray:
I have read the information on your website with interest. It appears you are very passionate about this issue and I applaud that. Because of your enthusiasm I wanted to ask you about something.
I have 3 sisters, 2 of whom are married to men who were married before. Both of these previously married men were victims of severe domestic violence and one was stalked for several years by his former wife and abuser despite restraining orders. The other brother-in-law was nearly killed by his former wife and abuser. She went to prison for the attempted murder, but not the domestic violence preceding it. Her own mother helped my brother-in-law gain custody of the children to make sure her violent abusive daughter would be kept away from them. And yes, she also had abused the children, as is often the case. I eat Thanksgiving dinner with these 2 men every year. I see the scars. I see their children and hear the tales of abuse from them as well.
But for these 2 men, as well as all the other men I have since met who have been victims of domestic violence there is nothing available. There is no help. There is nowhere for them to take the children and run in order to escape the abuse of a psychotic or unstable wife and mother. Most people refuse to acknowledge these men even exist despite repeated studies that show they are no more uncommon than abused women. Most of the men found when they finally called the police that they were charged in accordance with the Violence Against Women Act, which states that the police must view all calls for domestic violence as man beating woman even in situations where the woman is caught in the act of abusing the male victim. "He must have done something to deserve it" is written into the law.
I know the women who run the domestic violence shelters say they don't want this talked about because it might reduce funding for them. But it is being talked about anyway and people are getting upset about the blatant sexism. A female attorney in Los Angeles was quoted in a recent article as yelling in a courtroom that 'it is the men who are oppressed now.' She was not some men's rights activist. She was simply a lawyer fighting for her client's rights and became frustrated at the incredible wall of injustice she was up against. And her comment made the paper because people are feeling her frustration and agreeing with her words more and more each day.
Why do I write to you? I don't live in your area. I am not a registered Democrat. And I could easily write to some male Senator. So why do I contact you?
Because the simple fact is men will not stand up and say what everyone knows, that men are being beaten and left on the street to fend for themselves if they have to run. Or worse, they are thrown in jail and blamed for the crime they themselves are the victims of. The men in the Senate and the House will never stand up until the women say it is OK. And as for Republicans, well, when have they ever cared about issues of basic human rights such as this? This is your area, not theirs. They will follow your lead on this, as they always do. That is, if you want to be a leader.
Both men and women are calling for reform in many issues involving family law and the family courts. This is a very important one. There is no reason why funding for women's assistance would be cut in order to make room for programs to help men as well. The men need the help and sooner or later it will happen. There is too much outcry over this throughout all the Western nations for it not to happen. Why wait and be a follower who simply signs on after the fact? You said in your website that you led the effort to pass the Violence Against Women Act. The reforms required to keep this act viable will happen one way or another. But you can be the one to make it happen today and put your name on it. Would you like to see men dumping their Republican Party membership cards and deluging you with love letters expressing gratitude and undying loyalty? Would you like to be the next president? Then please stand up and speak out on this issue. It must be done. And it must be a woman who does it. The men are simply too afraid and too weak to stand up for other men and their families. They won't lead. They will follow you.
Sincerely,
Steven Jones
Memphis, TN
P.S. I have attached an article from an Australian paper on this very same issue. You will likely be seeing this report very soon regardless, but this will provide you the opportunity to prepare ahead of time and be more informed than everyone else.
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A very good letter! Thank You. And you are right: More and more women are seeing the sexism and getting quite angry.
Greg
the Volksgaren Project: Intelligent Abuse Recovery, http://clix.to/support/, jaxom@amtelecom.net, 519-773-9644
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