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Responses to Dowd's Dating Article
posted by Scott on Friday August 31, @11:46AM
from the inequality/double-standards dept.
Inequality Neil Steyskal wrote in to let us know that the New York Times has printed a few responses to Maureen Dowd's recent article where she interviews people who think that women who pay for or split the cost of dates are "archaic feminist relics." The responses, which were overwhelmingly critical of this self-serving view, can be read here (free NYT registration required).

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Female ripoffs (Score:1)
by Thomas on Friday August 31, @12:25PM EST (#1)
(User #280 Info)
There's a good way to deal with the leaches who don't bring enough money to pay for their share of the bill. Discretely take the bill to the waiter or waitress and say that you need separate checks. Then pay for yours and leave.

If a woman didn't expect and want to pay for her share, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her.
Re:Female ripoffs (Score:2)
by Nightmist (nightmist@mensactivism.org) on Friday August 31, @12:30PM EST (#2)
(User #187 Info)
Heh. That sounds like fun. I wonder, though, how we can be certain who the leeches are. ;) I must say that I was impressed with preponderance of both male and female responses to Dowd's ridiculous article.

Letters to the editor at NYT (Score:1)
by Thomas on Friday August 31, @12:37PM EST (#3)
(User #280 Info)
Does anyone know how to submit letters to the NYT editor online? I went to the site but didn't see how to do this. Thanks.
Re:Letters to the editor at NYT (Score:1)
by Scott (scott@mensactivism.org) on Friday August 31, @04:43PM EST (#4)
(User #3 Info) http://www.vortxweb.net/gorgias/mens_issues/index.html
E-mails can be sent to letters@nytimes.com. Other contact information can be found here:

http://www.nytimes.com/info/help/letters.html

Scott
Re:Letters to the editor at NYT (Score:2)
by frank h on Saturday September 01, @06:43AM EST (#5)
(User #141 Info)
One can reach Dowd's article without the registration by linking through the Drudge Report at (http://www.drudgereport.com/). She's listed there among several columnists.
Rich people's snobbiness (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 04, @08:26PM EST (#6)
Why not just say that you want separate checks before ordering? Why the sneakiness, unless your only intent is to humiliate your date? Do you do this to your male friends too?

Better yet, finances should be discussed before the date ever happens, at the time of asking. Not only do people make different wages, they also have different bugetary situations. Even someone making a good salary could be broke if they're saving up to buy a house--and maybe they can't afford to eat at a restaurant where the entrees start at $35 (the restaurant that you picked because it fits YOUR budget and you just HAVE to have a first-class meal at the most expensive joint in town...Hardee's not being good enough for the likes of you).

People who are broke don't appreciate their lack of money being rubbed in their face...as if it's a CRIME to not have enough money to have dinner out or plunk down $75 plus parking for a basketball ticket. Discuss it beforehand, and if your intended date says, "I'm sorry, but I just don't have the money to go out," then either don't go on the date--or go to the damn park or something else that's free.

Again, what happens if you ask one of your buddies to go out and he says, "I can't...I'm broke." Do you humiliate him, too?

This actually has less to do with wanting to humiliate women, and more to do with hating anyone who makes less money than you, and wanting to humiliate them and treat them as if they're not human.
Re:Female ripoffs (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 04, @08:38PM EST (#7)
Like I said to the rich guy who hates anyone who doesn't make a six-figure salary...Discuss finances at the time of asking for the date. Say, "Why don't we go [specific place] tomorrow night? Do you have enough money to do that?"

If the woman says, "No, I'm broke," then you have three options:

1) Don't go on the date. Postpone it for a time when her finances are in better shape, or just forget about it.

2) Pick something that both of you can afford. If Chez Pierre is out of her financial reach, what's wrong with Hardee's? For that matter, what's wrong with going out for a 99-cent cup of coffee AFTER both of you have eaten dinner separately?

3) Pick something that's free, such as jogging in a local park. Most Americans are fat and need the exercise anyway.

No, I'm not cheap. To be cheap, you have to *have* the money and be hoarding it. Unfortunately, like most people in America I'm not rich. I have very little disposable income. I would not appreciate some moron humiliating me by demanding to go to an expensive restaurant, then getting mad at me because I can't afford to so much as buy myself a salad at a place like that. As if not making six figures is a crime, or something that renders me less than human. How would you like to sit in a restaurant sipping the free water while your "date" enjoys a nice meal that her budget allowed for? What's the point in even going out on a "date" like that?

Finally, if finances are that important, date women only within your own income bracket or higher. Don't date someone who works in data entry, as they're probably making eight bucks an hour. It's not fair to expect someone making that little money to be able to go out on expensive dates every week. Either accept the fact that this woman won't be able to go out more than once a month, and then only to cheap places, or just don't date her.

A final thought. Anyone who knows anything about economics knows that EVERYONE can't be rich. If everyone had a PhD, there would be PhDs scrubbing toilets for a living. Those minimum-wage (and even average-wage) workers you all apparently think are sub-human and deserving of humiliation and public shame are necessary to our economy.
Re:Rich people's snobbiness (Score:2)
by Nightmist (nightmist@mensactivism.org) on Wednesday September 05, @08:35AM EST (#8)
(User #187 Info)
Uhhhh, you REALLY need to read Dowd's article before posting comments like this. Her article was about how women want men to pay for dates even when they're making more money than the man.

Your lashing out at us here appears to be a result of your ignorance of the original facts of the situation.

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