Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage: study

... and saved him the trouble. :) Marriage used to be an institution, like graduating from high school, etc. It was something everyone participated in, largely because it was expected of them or in some cases, as with such things as school, they were required to do it. However that is not nor has been the case now for years. The decision to marry someone needs to be a well-thought-out, very person-specific decision. It is not nor should really have ever been about "being married". If it is done at all the safest way to do it, like going into business with someone else (which is what in effect you are doing), is to be sure you fully comprehend the character and intent of the other person, as well as the depth of their emotional investment in you and your couple-hood. Only when or if you are certain that the odds are heavily weighted toward success based on these things should you even consider the other person for the walk down the aisle. Other ?s needing answering though are these:

1) Compatibility: will we be able to live together without too much trouble, of if we don't live together, will our particular arrangement be satisfying to us both? Big issue here is $$. Do you have compatible views on money, how to spend/save it, etc.? You need not have the same views, they just must be compatible and mutually acceptable.

2) Arguing style: Are we able to "fight fair" and are we both able to stay in control of how we express ourselves to one another, at least well enough to have constructive outcomes from our arguments? Can we learn from one another and can we both tweak ourselves to improve things as they go along in this arena? You're gonna argue/fight. That is inevitable. Like any other part of the relationship though, it has to work for you both.

3) Common values/needs fulfillment: Will we be satisfied in the ways most important to us with one another not just now but going forward?

4) Loopiness: Are we loopy for each other, on top of all this other stuff?

This may seem like a daunting list but when you are with the right person for this, it will be there. If you never find the right person? Then DO NOT DO IT!

I am sorry if that disappoints the romantics out there. This is not about fantasy fulfillment. This is about keeping it real and making sure you don't pay through the wazoo in many ways as you struggle out of the legal/social/financial mess that a nasty divorce can create. If this means 80% of all adults stay single, then so be it. Better single and happy than married/divorcing and miserable.

With that, "Dr. Phil" is done. =)

This is another reason that I want to go to Japan.

I'll NEVER find my future ex-wife here.

as soon as my head is better and I'm completely back on my feet, that's where I'm likely headed. Even though I HATE Pokemon! (Chinpokomon?)

Thundercloud.

message to Feminists;
A little less talk and a little more SHUT THE HELL UP!

Yea though I walk through the valley of ignorance, I fear, reality? In my 53 years I have never met a woman that I could trust completely. I will never quit hoping that somewhere, someplace, there exists an honest woman. I guess I just seek the natural way. Seems like we have to change things just a little bit to get back to where we belong, do you think? Yes, the study of "primitive" societies shows that yes, men and women do need each other, and without all the propaganda get along quite well.

David A. DeLong

The latest word from Japan is that the women and men that are reaching retirement age are having epic problems. Women that are used to having a wage slave as a husband are actually killing their husbands, divorcing them, and really giving them a hard time. You have to remember that the U.S. went over to Japan and instituted the Statistical Process Control which shaped modern Japan along the lines of the corporate wishes. They are dealing with their own societal collapse as we are. Sorry T.C. no place to run!

David A. DeLong

Okay, How 'bout Vietnam?

China...?!

Korea?!!? Cambodia...?!!? BRIGADOON!!!???!!!

Women say a good MAN is hard to find.
Is a good WOMAN IMPOSSIBLE to find.
*sheesh...,*

Thundercloud.

message to Feminists;
A little less talk and a little more SHUT THE HELL UP!

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. -Proverbs 20:9

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
-Proverbs 20:19

Unfortunately so many women fall into these categories.

There is a fundamental and very difficult paradox inherent in the quest to find an "honest woman." It is just this --

The female species is socially conditioned to use dissembling (lying, false fronts), masquerade, and stealth as its primary tools for achieving power and security.

Women get up every morning and attend to the rituals of camouflage and pantomime. A huge amount of time and effort is invested in creating and maintaining a facade. The beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar testimony to women's dedication to the embellishment of a lie,the promotion of a false persona as being somehow authentic.

So, it is truly difficult to determine the capacity for truthfulness in a species that makes its living through artful misrepresentation and contrivance.

I would probably argue that the only chance a man has of assessing a woman's capacity for trustworthyness is to observe her in a crisis or conflict.

As many a divorced man can attest (been there, got the tee-shirt), you will never know what degree of ruthless aggression and vindictiveness your "soul mate" is capable of until the divorce papers are filed.

So, the most reliable tests also entail the greatest likelihood of injury to the man.

For a creature whose survival depends upon the manipulation of others perceptions, the very concept of "honesty" may be an alien and incomprehensible idea.

and then women complain about being treated like crap...

not that i encourage it but if their very being is centered around dishonesty then they shouldn't be surprised about the lack of respect they seem to get.

The reason I don't want to get married is that I find it hard to accept being in a legally binding relationship where simply because of my birth circumstances I have the civil rights and legal standing of a hog. Also, the social obligations I would incur would be equivalent to an 18th century Russian serf.

Frankly, deciding to be a MRA and accepting noncommitment to the marriage scam is the same as immigrating or escaping to a land and a culture that though not perfect is a refuge of freedom and security. The alternative, marriage is a place of oppression and exploitation and in too many cases: Death!

This really isn't rocket science and rather obvious. I don't understand how society can't figure this out.