The Male Crisis Explained

Submitted by Rick Lynn
mayfieldga-at-bellsouth.net

This is one part of my learning theory that shows how our individual environments greatly affect thinking, learning, and motivation to learn. The complete theory with graph and figure will go to all upon request by e-mail.

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There is a growing gulf in communication between men and women. The nineteenth century belief man should be strong has allowed increased aggression upon Males from day one. Along with this aggression allowed is the idea of pulling oneself up by the bootstraps that denies much in terms of mental, emotional, social, and academic supports from day one. The help usually given involves something to help make Males be strong as in sports or other physical competitions. While this type of treatment may have proved useful in the more physical nineteenth century, it is working opposite of need in the information age where it requires much more accumulated mental, emotional, social and academic skills acquired over time. In these areas, Males are being seriously shortchanged.

There is another area this kind of treatment is doing harm to Males in the information age. The increased aggression they receive from day one, creates two bad things for Males: 1. It creates higher average layers of mental frictions (redefined from higher average stress) which inhibits thinking, learning, and motivation in mental areas. This can lead to a Male student falling years behind mentally, emotionally, socially, and academically. 2. It also creates the Male ego or defensive cushion that the Male develops from an early age to protect them from the aggressions they receive from society. This Male ego or defensive cushion has the negative consequences of further alienating the Male from “any” various mental, emotional, social, and academic supports they “might just” receive from society. This can also lead to a large deficit for Males in learning various social and academic skills over time.

Also society’s accepted aggression toward the Male from an early age onward creates so much mental, emotional, and social modeled and treated aggression in body language, tone, inflection, words, and even physically, that it poisons the well in their minds to various degrees for interacting, accepting, and enjoying mental, emotional, and social - knowledge, support, and skills from others. This poisoned well (mental defensiveness or tune out) is more destructive in areas of education where their ability to grow academically depends on much mental, emotional, social, and academic interaction, support from parents, teachers, and peers. This defensiveness along with more continued aggression from society and little if any good mental, emotional, social support from society creates a recipe for a very large lag in development - mentally, emotionally, socially, and academically over time. This is why the current, ever growing, international Male Crisis. It may not appear this way seeing many Males because they have learned to create a facade or false face to hide their lack of abilities in many areas. This is probably why some Males say or do certain inappropriate things at times. They are simply reaching into their bag of social tricks and coming out with the best they can think of at that time to cover their real insecurities.

When Males experience various forms of verbal and/or physical aggression from parents, siblings, peers, and others in society as appears to be more often than not, this sets up a mental preparation or wariness of facing similar things in the future. This defense mechanism is really tough on many Males in education for when they have mental, emotional, social knowledge and academic skills paired with firm words and/or treatment, it then calls that defensive mindset to the fore to prepare not for learning for more aggression. When such words and/or treatment come from teachers over time, this can cause the child to tune out of much instruction and other learning that can along with the combination of higher layers of mental frictions can cause a Male child to fall years behind their peers socially, emotionally, and academically. So in a way the firmness and authoritarian atmosphere could be really be hurting students, especially many Male students.

The combination of higher layers of mental frictions and defensive cushion are working to create an impediment to learning that accumulates in harm over time. In society today, men are given love, honor, respect, and support or the essentials of their self-worth only on the “condition of sufficient” achievement, money, power, status or image. They must fight through the still present, nineteenth century confrontations allowed by society upon them from an early age to achieve those benefits and feelings of self-worth.

For women, the nineteenth century belief woman should be protected and still in effect, has created much overprotection and even indulgence for many women today. This is creating very low layers of mental frictions collectively for women. This makes thinking, learning, and motivation in mental areas much easier. This accumulates over time to create more acquired mental, emotional, social and academic advancement in many areas. In addition to this protection there is the continual mental, emotional, social, and academic support from day one that provides a virtual high speed expressway that accumulates over time to create much training and advancement in information age skills. These two continual supports from society over time create everything a person needs today to succeed in the information age. Since women are given through overprotection, the benefits of love, honor, respect, and continual support, all the benefits of self-worth from an early age without qualification (simply because they are girls), they are working with much more continual support, attention, and interaction to accumulate more mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills that can be transformed easily into money, power, status, and image. Even after this support, society’s protection, continued support and view toward beauty and charm continually helps them in the information age.

This differential treatment has now created a tremendous gulf between men and women today. Women are now surging ahead academically and economically due to this protection and men are still puzzled as to why they are falling behind in those areas. You see if you remove the old money from older men, the girls are making more.

The current beliefs believed by both men and women today is that Males learn differently and/or simply do not try hard enough. These beliefs only add to the gulf between men and women today. The men who believe this and have not information to the contrary may believe they are somehow mentally inferior or just not working hard enough. Somehow, humans, men included, tend to reflect the treatment in their lives upon others and do not know or not allowed by society to say how differential treatment is hurting them. This may lead Males to give up in developing various mental, emotional, social, and academic skills over time. They may limit their interest and desires to smaller windows of fulfillment in their social connections. They will continue to dress up for display, their Male defensive cushion to at least present a plausible image when dealing in areas where they are not as competent. Worse for these Males, they may advance their beliefs and feelings onto their sons from an early age, thus enabling the continuation of the harmful belief of inferiority in the information age.

As for women, they having been told the same teaching that persons are naturally better in some areas or simply work harder. They may truly feel they are simply more intelligent or have worked harder to achieve what they have achieved. In our world, again women like men often reflect their environment and treatment upon others and so do not appreciate difference in treatment. Also, in our world of insecurities, it is no wonder when women achieve, to boost their insecurity, as affects everyone, they will believe this achievement is due to more intelligence or greater effort on their part and not due to any environmental variables even if they feel such variables are at work.

This differential treatment has now created a tremendous gulf in communication between men and women. You see, as Males develop from allowed aggressions over time, this treatment operates upon their body language, words, tone, inflection, and voice stress. Over the years, due to this kind of treatment, there is a type of richness added to their words, tones, and inflections that denotes perhaps a higher form of feeling and compassion for others, again reflecting their lives upon others or just valuing others more so. Of course there are also Males due to so much aggression over time who have turned their values around so that nearly any means are okay to justify an end usually for self gain.

As for women, the overprotection given women from day one collectively operates upon their body language, words, tone, and inflection over time. As such attention can do to anyone, this will usually create words and tones that are more light and less rich in tone, inflection, and voice stress. To the Male, (including myself) this may appear less substantive or less rich in feeling or compassion when trading such words of conversations with women. Such words can even unintentionally feel patronizing if given too lightly or with less feeling at various times.

I believe as a result of such differential treatment, men are now looking at women only within the window of areas in which they truly feel there is mutual interest and competency. I do not need to explain this part. I feel however, women due to not having knowledge of those differences in treatment, may too often reflect their values and desires upon men with the woman's much larger window of acceptance. Here is where women make their big mistakes. The men hide their shortcomings very well to achieve their small window of interest, while women hide their feelings of superiority to achieve their window or interest. Many women truly believe they are more intelligent and can control things to achieve a happy family with the man as a supporting member. However after the men have achieved their end, they will not be able to hold up their false defensive cushion on a continual basis. The women due to feelings of intellectual superiority will usually then become more open in their natural advanced mental, emotional, social, and academic development. These two truths will collide eventually, leaving one or both sides either perplexed or angry.

Young girls tend to choose inappropriate marriage mates because boys who honestly portray their instability (due to society accepted mistreatment)are more rejected by the girls. Since the boys know this, the boys who are usually selected come from three groups: (A) boys who have been sheltered and have not yet received their confrontations; (B) boys who put on the appearance of stability in order to sway the girl; and (C) boys who manage to acquire a somewhat stable life by emptying their life of a measure of circumstances, responsibilities, and weights or values. Young and older girls are usually the last ones to learn this information. Girls have not been told these differences exist.

The girl can protect herself by mapping out how her perspective mate deals with his angers, circumstances, responsibilities, along with weights and values he applies to elements in his life. These are natural human emotions and traits; they should flow naturally. A boy who does poorly in these areas or worse, appears to hide these traits, is unconsciously giving the girl a message of warning. This information is vital and necessary for preventing teen-age date and domestic-marriage violence.

Today, the gulf in communication between men and women is growing more deeply each day. For men, those who are trying to lead a more decent life, from the confrontations they have experienced, they are usually very compassionate and caring persons, whose words are rich in tone and inflection. For many men though, there is the value of the world, where society’s lack of values toward them have made them less caring or compassionate. Such ones may develop a very fluid personality designed to create whatever image is necessary to accomplish their immediate ends. Too often women make the mistake of seeing the more compassionate men as weak and the more brisk or bold (more like the overprotect women) as strong.

For women there are many who desire to have both a family and a career. They are filled with the language of social and academic education they have been supported with from day one. They reflect their lives from their close reflection of themselves upon others and then look for Male companions that match their lives. However, their lack of true compassion and feeling for others that comes from such overprotection spills out continually through their body language, words, tone, and inflection. The freedom of expression allowed for women to give verbal, silent abuse, an hollow kindness even toward a third party (such a waiter), also presents a huge obstacle for women, especially when such comes out when dating. You see if men see it one time, they can expect it again toward them some day.

A biggie for financially successful women: men have faced confrontations from day one. Men do not expect goodness and support from society. They have learned from continuous aggressions from society to expect more aggression from individuals where they are perceived as weaker in some way. This is why men cannot allow themselves to present weakness in some manner for it invites only more aggression from society. They are given love, honor, respect, and support only when they demonstrate to society sufficient achievement, money, power, status, or image. When they see a successful woman, more successful than themselves, they learned to expect verbal, silent abuse, or hollow kindness/ patronization (lol; I have received this kind of treatment simply from just their perception of me as more humble and mild).

For those women who are less educated and attempting to lead a more caring life, perhaps by experience of more hardships there is greater sincerity of words, tone, and inflection. These differences are felt. These women are truly to be commended for they are bucking the model that is presented in the media today. They may still be susceptible to men who put forth an image seeking only a small window of interest.

For me, I see so many insecure persons, both men and women, who are trying to survive. I see the media hurting everyone by fostering the idea of power struggles without care or consideration for others. I see the rewarding of strength at all cost and domination as the key to maintaining viewer interest and support.

Due to the advancement of the information age and the continual increase in domination by Females in white collar positions, I see the media now much more dominated by women who have saturated the airways from very light, tinish, and seemingly (lol, or very real) patronizing words, tones, and inflections to very strong, hard biting words. Society’s protection for women allow these kind of expressions with impunity. I do not value such words. Due to the confrontations I have experienced, I find them less valuable, even counterfeit. Perhaps this is why many other Males are tuning out from the media. I am though a very caring person. I feel for everyone. However, I know there are many persons, who respect only strength and power and see mildness, kindness, and goodness as some weakness. I see bank tellers, postal clerks, grocery check out persons, and even civil servants, using their society protected freedoms of expression to give verbal, silent abuse, and hollow kindness, usually to those individuals who the most sincere. I feel this gulf between men and women cannot continue for very long. I am intelligent and can deal with anyone. I just will not allow my words to be exchanged for counterfeit words. LOL; Fortunately for me, I grew up with a speech impediment so rejection is something I have a great deal of experience.

It is incorrect to view the Male Crisis on role models. The lack of role models is the result of the problem, not the cause. If you had a bag full of sand with a hole in the bottom, you would “not” say there is less sand in the bag; you would say there is a hole in the bottom of the bag. Indeed, we should fix the hole in the bag by providing Males with tools to develop long-term, mental/emotional stability so they can better compete mentally and emotionally in the information age. One professional was attempting to find more role models for Male children. He boasted that a Male child’s esteem goes up when they have one positive role model. What he was unknowingly saying was that Males have such little attention that when they do receive that attention, they are very grateful. This creates the large rise in esteem. The fight for attention could be creating misbehavior in Male children.

Today, many men are becoming angry because they losing more than jobs and status, they are losing out on those things they are seeking most of all, love, honor, respect, support, the essentials of self-worth. The little bites they receive in the various media and the workplace accumulate over time and create much anger that touches on and erodes their feelings of self-worth. As a person loses feelings of self-worth they also lose regard for consequences. If men fall behind more collectively, they may begin to retaliate more collectively, thus ending the present shield of over-protection for women. This will mean much more abuse and crimes against women. It will do well for all parents, teachers, employers to those in various media to be more kind to others, including Males.

I feel there is a perfect social storm that may be accumulating in strength over time. I see overprotection as creating a faulty value process for women who may be reflecting their stability upon men and wrongly considering men to be treated more on an equal basis, so no perceived imbalance. In addition, the medical model that presents learning as all genetic and effort and not individual environments, may present women with the false idea they have simply worked harder and/or genetically more intelligent than their Male counterparts. I feel both the overprotection and wrong perceptions are creating measures of accumulated harm to their Male counterparts.

1. As for overprotection, this creates a large gulf or void of understanding and compassion or feeling for Males since Females have not faced the free aggression from society from early in their lives through adulthood (as early as nine months, a difference occurs). Over time, the overprotection and even indulgence for many women has operated on their body language, words, tones, inflections, and voice stress to make their words sound hollow and counterfeit, even to the point of unintentionally sounding patronizing. The problem with communication between men and women is the large differential in treatment between them over time. This has created a large gulf in appreciation for men who have faced confrontations. The women’s protected freedom of expression can hurt because they have not experienced sufficient confrontations to respect those who have. Over time, such freedom of expression and lack of understanding or feeling could accumulate a mounting sense of hurt and anger for Males. This makes it more difficult for men to trust the expressions of women in general.

2. Part two, is the false belief of simply working harder or not genetically equal could lead many women to use their words in more pointed, condescending, patronizing, and aggressive ways. Such acts also accumulate in hurt and anger for Males. Over time, the combined effect could create a perfect social storm if Males fall behind collectively. This could create a joint appreciation for this hurt and anger. This in turn could create more accepted aggression toward Females in general. I see both traits of needless aggression by women in the media and in the work place all the time. Note, these various social bites or mini-hurts are not dealt with individually and forgotten, but accumulate to create psychological suffering. These bites accumulate to create psychological suffering from the media, the workplace, and at home that when combined, leads to violent reactions. As their feelings of self-worth are eroded, so are their fears of consequences for actions. The media and mental health agencies should take heed of this possible scenario and its accumulated, harmful effects on Males. Could society remain oblivious to this growing problem until that critical point is reached? Perhaps the election of a Female President will bring that storm closer perhaps even hit society immediately. This is why it is important to understand and prepare for this possible outcome. For Males it is like seeing someone cutting across the track and winning while they are running an obstacle course and losing. Then they are told to follow those so-called winners and accept their patronization.

We need to begin teaching both Male and Female children and adults how our individual environments do greatly affect learning, skills, and abilities, over time. We really do need to show Males and Females how differences in treatment do exist in the information age and have hurt Males over time. By providing this understanding, both Males and Females will begin to have much more appreciation for the other in terms of their differences in environment. Males will recognize how their environments are creating their difficulties and remove from their shoulders the false belief they are somehow genetically inferior or simply not working hard enough. Females will perhaps also recognize both how differential treatment has hurt the Male and speak with greater care and understanding rather than the current society allowed verbal, silent abuse, and patronization they presently give to those they feel an advantage over. Only providing this understanding will the two groups be able to exist in more harmony and maintain better relationships.

To reduce and eliminate this problem and help Males have a more equal footing, parents, teachers, administrators, and all forms of media need to be taught this critical point and its many areas of Male aggression will begin to increase to a “much higher level” than presently seen. We need to begin teaching parents, teachers, and others who teach and model to children that the extra aggression they have given Males is hurting the Male children’s ability to grow mentally, emotionally, socially, and academically over time. They need to be taught how to treat those students and other Males in society with as much respect and care as they presently provide Female students. This is the only way to help Males begin to catch up in all of the many social areas they are presently lagging. This new way of thinking will be very difficult for the Male parent, teacher, administrator, or other professional for they have been raised with the old, more aggressive ways for many years and have come to rely on their feelings of self-worth based upon their money, power, status, and image. They have also experienced years of aggression, which has been woven into their mind and spirit to create their defensive posture or Male ego that is now more or less imprinted into their personality. Such a spirit will almost invariably imprint this same posture or spirit into the Male children men are raising. For many Males it will require much cognitive understanding of the problem and a willingness to begin treating Male children with the same respect and give the same positive attention to the Male children as they do with Female children. For women, this means also learning how to not use Male children as emotional scapegoats as society has allowed them to do in the past. In addition, women need to begin realizing that using adult Males as emotional scapegoats (with current feelings of protection by society) when they have power over them in some way is a very hazardous way to approach Males. You know, with continuous indulgence so directly related to mental, emotional, social, and academic knowledge and skills over time, society would practically have to treat Female and Male children the same in many areas to achieve equality between genders. I see Males and society losing in the end, but this end may be pushed off much farther into the future provided there is much more understanding and action in this area over time.

This problem will only get worse unless action is taken now. My complete theory with many social applications are free to all by e-mail at mayfieldga-at-bellsouth.net