Review: Paglia Gave 'Teeth' Its Fangs

I don't think many parents will want to take their children to see a movie that's so retarded. Seeing how much that type of thing bothers me, if I had teenage sons, I would never hate them enough to take them to see that. And also, as for it being a cautionary tale... duh! Of course evil intentions have consequences. Take them to see my movie instead. It covers more topics than just rape. Plus, it's also serious enough to not have any vaginally toothed harpies either. I wonder if they're going to make a movie which warns teenage girls not to falsely accuse boys of rape... oh wait, that's up to me. It's my sequel "You Should Know Better Too".

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to write my own horror satire to make fun of teeth. In my movie, a teenage boy gets molested by his female teacher, then she dies mysteriously. It turns out the boy has sperm which destroy cells with two X chromosomes! Let's see how feminazis like that idea.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

Crappy movies are often our best reflections of our true American culture. From two intelligent reviewers of "Teeth" --

"If you get over the rather distasteful subject matter and focus on what's beneath the surface, you'll find a flick that's got a whole lot to say about young women and their fear of burgeoning sexuality, society's general distaste (and, let's face it, fear) of the female sex organ, and the ways in which men do a serious disservice to womankind by treating their "naughty bits" as if they're something to be ashamed of."

http://www.cinematical.com/2007/01/21/sundance-review-teeth/

"It's not just horror films, of course; from thrillers to romantic comedies, women are endlessly at the mercy of their vaginas. And therein lies the appeal of Teeth, a different kind of horror film, which just played the Sundance Film Festival. … The term "vagina dentata" -- which is really about men's fears around female sexuality and the act of intercourse -- revolves around a story about a toothed vagina that can decapitate a male's manhood. Chomp. The vagina dentata, according to many of the myths, can only be conquered by a hero who "breaks" the teeth of the vagina, thus making his conquest a Real Woman."

http://www.cinematical.com/2007/02/02/sundance-review-teeth-kims-take/

Being castrated, or movies being based on it and getting good reviews!? Sometimes I wish I wasn't a man. I'm so sick of this glorification of the sexual mutilation of males. Hopefully, like the small turd it is, this movie will not make such a huge splash. BTW, in the one review, they accuse men of trying to make women ashamed of their vaginas. What a load! If any anatomical part is demonized, it's the male member, as the film actually demonstrates. Well, at least I know my movie about the mutant sperm will be a hit.

BTW, I think it's sad that I've never actually had sex, but I have to put up with a barrage of hatred and images of male genital mutilation, just cause I'm a man. The world needs to change.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

If that's not child abuse, nothing is. I'm also not surprised that one of the victims is innocent either. Truth is, NO ONE deserves that. NO ONE. Innocent or guilty. It's funny how a movie in which men suffer fates worse than rape and murder combined are endorsed, and labelled as movies about "female empowerment". Um, no. It's not female empowerment, it's male dismemberment. It's straight up saddism. Period.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

Your sig line is a very cool reference man....

"Dear Doctor" from some obscure album '68, which I have on vintage vinyl.

Personally, I would argue that it is more abusive to take a 15 year-old boy to watch "Titanic" than "Teeth."

Why?

Because the one movie is a propaganda flick about Chivalry and male sacrifice, and the other is a sex education faux-documentary.

Pick your poison.

Hell, I'd sit through Titanic 100 times if it meant movies like Teeth would stop being made.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

Yeah, but would you sit through "Thelma and Louise" 100 times?

"Teeth" is at least a cheap & silly honest schlocky movie, but how many dozens of beautifully photographed major studio pics are all about teaching men to be chivalrous idiots?

The medium is the message, and the message is that men are disposable.

Shit now I'm quoting Marshall McLuhan and he's been dead longer than most MANN posters have been alive.

Maybe Matt was right to sequester me....

As Sting (you all recall The Police?) wrote -- "History will teach us nothing."

I am running out of relevant metaphors.

Oh wait ... Eric Clapton just wrote his autobiography!

Something about the genius of the blues apparently....

But sincerely -- what movies have you guys had to bail on ... that you just could not sit through?

that I would sit through any crappy movie that does not include it 100 times, to ensure that movies that do would no longer be made. But speaking of crappy movies, The Perfect Storm was really boring and stupid. I actually fell asleep in the theatre watching it. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I couldn't bail either, cause I watched it with my parents. BTW, I noticed that a female poster tried to refute what I said in my comments on the NY Daily News review of Teeth. I quickly put her in her place.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

Anthony, I'm starting to think that my mother lied to me when she insisted that she did not give birth to my evil twin five minutes after I was expelled from her vagina.

So, what's your favorite sci-fi movie?

Well, actually it's a tie. My two favourtie Sci-Fi films are The Matrix and Cube. I like all of the Matrix and Cube movies equally, actually.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

anthony ... I am relieved.

The correct answer was --

"Blade Runner: The Final Director's Cut."

Apparently if we had been born twins, my mother would have been in labor for several years...

Your choices were good.

Now, just for giggles ---

the sexist woman ever on screen?

"They thought it would be a good cautionary tale that parents should take all their teenaged sons to see," he said. "It's a very moralistic story. If your intentions are bad, then you face the consequences."'

correction,

If your intentions are bad, then you face the consequences, unless you're female, as the film clearly demonstrates, if Anthony is correct.

And I also want to add that films like this which force men to think of how horrific it would be to lose the body part that defines them as men not only could be considered a hate crime, but they constitute rape. They rape our minds and psyches by forcing us to think about it. It would be like forcing women to think about being impaled vaginally over and over again. Fortunately, a just God would doom this grotesquerie to the fate it deserves, failure.

Evan AKA X-TRNL
Real Men Don't Take Abuse!

Any guy who goes to see that movie with a girlfriend or his wife had better get laid before seeing the flick...

Pay-per-screw.....

I'm sure Osama, hiding out in his villa in Kashmir, has multiple Direct TV dishes and watches all this stuff because it is the very best insight into how western men have been totally pussified.

I've told you guys several times, that Paglia's attitude toward men's rights is ambivalent and ever-changing. She is a mixed-up and possibly ill person.

But some guys here still want to believe she's strictly an ally.

-ax

Sexiest actress ever IMHO -- Maria Schneider in the classic "Last Tango in Paris" as Marlon Brando's hottie sex toy. (Funny thing is Maria is a lesbian in real life.)

Wasn't Seka a famous 70's porn star, not that I ever saw any of her films... (There were probably other Sekas through the years in more legitimate forms of entertainment.)

Funniest film?

Any stand-up documentary of the late, great and still-genius Sam Kinison.