RADAR Alert: Lynch Language in OK Child Abuse Story

A recent article in The Oklahoman, the largest newspaper in
Oklahoma, sticks to the old formula about domestic violence and child
abuse: men = abusers, women and children = victims. The article, by
columnist Tom Lindley, keys off the recent deaths of Kelsey
Smith-Briggs and Caitlin Wooten.

Click "Read more..." for more.

Sadly, the article ignores the fact that men are now recognized by
the Violence Against Women Act as victims of domestic violence. The
article neglects to mention that in most cases of child abuse, it.s the mother who is the perpetrator. This is what the federal Administration on Children and Families says about child abuse [http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cb/pubs/cm03/index.htm]:

• 58% of persons who commit child abuse and neglect are female
• In 31% of child abuse deaths, the perpetrator was the mother
  acting alone, compared to only 18% of fathers acting alone.

By combining an example of a wife who'd been battered for 20 years with the stories of the two murdered girls, the article misleads the reader into thinking that the greatest danger to children is from their fathers.

The truth is, children face far greater risk when their mother's
love-interest is someone other than their biological father.
Two-year-old Kelsey, was beaten to death her STEP-father, possibly with her mother's help. Teenaged Caitlin, was gunned down by her mother's ex-boyfriend.

Boys are at even greater risk of death and injury from their mothers than girls are. If Mr. Lindley had wanted to do a fair-minded story, he would not have limited his story solely to murdered girls.

And he might have mentioned Caren McDonald of Choctaw, OK who is serving a prison term after admitting she beat her husband with a baseball bat on June 21, 2002.

Worse, Mr. Lindley's article uses inflammatory language similar to the
words used a century ago by Southern newspapers to vilify Black men:

• Mr. Lindley claims there is a 'growing number of perpetrators of
  violence' without providing even a single statistic.
• Lindley repeats the old feminist myth that men batter their wives because of 'the need to be in control of someone else'.

Each year, hundreds of thousands of restraining orders are issued
around the United States against men accused of domestic abuse. As
David Heleniak documented (.pdf file), these orders frequently violate the fundamental civil rights of men.

But apparently those constitutional violations do not concern Mr.
Lindley, who actually pushes for strengthening these protection orders. In fact according to Mr. Lindley, the time for debate has long passed:

"As long as this debate rages, so too will the violence directed at
women and children."

Contact columnist Tom Lindley and his editors at The Oklahoman
and tell them -- politely -- the truth about domestic violence and
child abuse. Here.s the contact information:

Tom Lindley: tlindley-at-cox.net

Letters to the editor: yourviews-at-oklahoman.com

Ed Kelly, editor: ekelley-at-oklahoman.com

Sue Hale, executive editor: shale-at-oklahoman.com

Mike Shannon: managing editor: mshannon-at-oklahoman.com

Joe Hight, managing editor: jhight-at-oklahoman.com

Telephone: 405-936-0175

Fax: 405-475-3183

Snail mail:

P.O. Box 25125

Oklahoma City, OK 73125

Do More than Demand Justice for Kelsey, Caitlin

By Tom Lindley

The Oklahoman

January 19, 2006

http://newsok.com/article/1737520/?template=

If fear is the flip side of rage, then too many women
and children in Oklahoma have their battered faces
plastered on the wrong side of the coin.
When child abuse and domestic abuse are carried out to
the extreme, when a 2-year-old such as Kelsey
Smith-Briggs of Meeker or a teen such as Caitlin
Wooten of Ada is killed, it becomes unfathomable.

Then, for a short time, it gets personal, which
usually means more tough talk by the state Legislature
and law enforcement, followed by new laws and more
rows of prison cells.

But the question always comes down to whether
Oklahoma's compassion for women and children will
outlast the rage of a growing number of perpetrators
of violence or will it disappear with the rest of
yesterday's news.

Those who see the bruises up close say there is too
much evidence the judicial system doesn't push hard
enough to hold accountable those perpetrators who have
a history of abuse.

Can a state that ranks so low nationally in so many
categories that matter -- income and education
attainment -- and so high in others -- the number of
women incarcerated, teen date violence, alcohol and
methamphetamine use and the number of women killed by
their partners -- overcome its reluctance to get
involved in somebody else's business?

"We have a pioneering, independent streak in Oklahoma
where you pull yourself up by your boot straps and
don't ask for help," said Pamela Cross, executive
director of central Oklahoma HeartLine, a 24-hour
support service.

"We also are shaped by our own experiences, good or
bad, and unfortunately, we all don't start out on a
level playing field."

Cries for help
Can Oklahomans resist the temptation to blame the
victims? She didn't have dinner on the table on time
or keep the kids quiet enough, so she must have asked
for it, right?

That would be the only way Jan Peery, chief executive
officer of the Oklahoma City YWCA, which operates
three hot lines, can explain why a judge would order a
battered wife who after 20 years of abuse finally got
the nerve to go to the court for help to go across the
hall with her husband and make up with him.

If it's true that children who witness violence in the
home are more disposed to resort to violence or end up
victims of it as adults, is the proliferation of
computer-game violence and violence on television and
at the movies a good learning tool?

Those are the questions some of those who hear the
cries for help and understand the root causes of
violence would like for Oklahomans to honestly answer.
If the statistics aren't enough to demand answers,
maybe Kelsey's sweet face will.

She died Oct. 11 after suffering blunt force trauma to
the abdomen, genital area, head, torso and
extremities. Her stepfather is charged with
first-degree murder and her mother is under
investigation.

Caitlin Wooten died when her mother's ex-boyfriend,
who a few weeks earlier had kidnapped her mother at
gunpoint and was out of jail on bond, kidnapped the
high school junior from school and shot her to death.

Violence rages on
Such hideous crimes send all of us searching for
answers.

For some, the blame for violent behavior begins with
"he was born with a mean streak" and ends with "he has
no one to blame but himself" or "she was an unfit
mother."

For those trained to understand human behavior, it
often ends with a partial indictment of a society that
gives some kids their first opportunity to get three
meals a day when it puts them in prison.

As long as this debate rages, so too will the violence
directed at women and children.

"It seems to me we have to look at how someone loses
the ability to relate to someone else's pain," said
Cross, whose hot line fielded almost 50,000 calls for
help last year.

Substance abuse, financial and emotional stress,
depression and the need to be in control of someone
else when everything else is spinning out of control
remain high on the list of causes of violence.

A cut-off notice from the utility company can send
someone over the edge.

A lot of Oklahomans don't know it, but there is help
on the other end of the line -- the kind of assistance
that can help them solve problems and redirect their
anger.

"I'm not trying to excuse child abuse or domestic
violence, but it helps when we understand it," Cross
said. "And it makes it easier for people to get
assistance before they act on their anger."

As for the rest of us, we need to do more than demand
justice for Kelsey and Caitlin, although that would be
a good start.

Among the suggestions:

End the culture of silence in Oklahoma and report
suspected child abuse as state law already demands.

Make necessary changes in the child protection system
and require people charged with kidnapping to prove
they are not a public threat before they can post
bond.

Strengthen and enforce victim protection orders and
implement an electronic notification system to alert
victims when offenders move through the criminal
justice system.

Adopt Oklahoma County's system of educating law
enforcement and the judicial system in dealing with
crimes related to domestic abuse or sexual assault.

Lobby lawmakers not to cut counseling services and
social programs aimed at preventing abuse and neglect.

"There is no real simple answer and there is not one
solution," Peery said. "Hopefully, these high-profile
cases will make all of us a little more aware."

The hope is that some day maybe a child won't have to
die to get our attention.

Date of RADAR Release: January 22, 2006

R.A.D.A.R. – Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting – is a
network of concerned men and women working to assure that the problem
of domestic violence is treated in a balanced and effective manner: http://www.mediaradar.org/.

NOTICE: This story was migrated from the old software that used to run Mensactivism.org. Unfortunately, user comments did not get included in the migration. However, you may view a copy of the original story, with comments, at the following link:

http://news.mensactivism.org/articles/06/01/23/1910206.shtml