Domestic Violence Delusions…a PBS documelodrama - Part 2 of 3

Part 2 of a 3-part essay, submitted by Harry Crouch. Click "Read more..." for the text. [Part 1 is found here.]

The author is a full time men's rights activist, co-proprietor of MENSBIZ, publisher of Women Industry News, member of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council, and Board Member of the National Coalition of Free Men Los Angeles.

At his request, if you e-mail him, please use "re KPBS Documelodrama" as the subject line.

(continued from part 1...)

The documentary played up the bad dad slight of hand, again blaming wife beaters for raising boys to beat women. Nevertheless, there was no mention of women like Texan Dena Schlosser, who cut off the legs and arms of her 11-month-old baby. I saw no reenactment of Waco whacko grandma Rose M. Cherry who daily whipped her 4-year-old granddaughter, until she died from blunt force trauma. The propaganda included nothing about New South Wales Kathleen Folbigg who killed in cold blood her four children over a ten year period because their crying annoyed her and the little buggers interrupted her gym time and dancing. I saw no segments about any of the millions of women who abuse men, women, or children.

The documentary did not even mention local Astrid Tepatti and her lesbian lover Ebony Wood, who unsuccessfully tried more than once to murder Tepatti’s Camp Pendleton Marine husband, Stephan Tepatti, for his insurance money. Earlier this year, Houston’s Dr. Rick Lohstroh’s, 10-year-old son pumped bullets into his Dad until dead. After a contentious divorce, ex-wife Deborah Geisler bought the gun and may have encouraged their son to use it. Moreover, let us not forget infamous women like Clara Harris with her Mercedes, her weapon of choice used to run circles over her estranged hubby. Harris even took their daughter along for the ride. Later, incarcerated murderer Harris was awarded legal custody of her children. Geisler and Harris did not make the documelodrama’s casting call either. Go figure…

I guess examples like those don’t qualify as domestic violence; either that, or, industry operatives can’t find a man to blame, like some blamed the husband of estrogen deficient mass murderer Andrea Yates, who snuffed out her five children in a matter of minutes. Obviously, such situations are a hard squeeze into the misogynistic patriarchal model of oppressed women victimhood, as are homosexual on homosexual violence, lesbian on lesbian violence, prison rape, and all those abused boys caught up in the continuing Catholic Church debacle, particularly the ones abused by Nuns. Then there’s Lynndie England’s having way to much fun smile as she tortured naked male prisoners in Iraq, but that’s foreign violence and doesn’t count here, or does it?

Men who beat women may be responsible for some boys growing up women beaters, but there is no question, none, nada, zero, zip, that westernized women commit the lion’s share of child abuse and a hefty hunk of adult on adult family violence; so, who really raises most of the boys that abuse women? If boys were raised by and survived Schlosser, Cherry, Folbigg, Geisler, Harris, or women like them, can anyone reasonably believe such boys would grow up with no propensity to abuse women?

Additionally, what happens to little girls and young women in analogous situations, like Clara Harris’s daughter along for the ride? Then there is the California woman convicted of stalking the foster family caring for her teenage daughter and soliciting a former client to kidnap her. Last month, a jury convicted the woman of residential burglary, child endangerment, and battery. The daughter was reportedly hit, kicked, and suffered years of physical and emotional abuse, though the mother maintained innocence, alleging her daughter invented the abuse charges after an argument. Regardless of truth, it appears the daughter may have continuing difficulties, particularly with her mother, family lawyer, Marilyn Freeman. Only wrongheaded ideologically driven politics keeps us from better protecting such children.

The KPBS documelodrama was apparently stopped short to make room for more speakers and a panel discussion. Two speakers of note were recipients and givers of abuse. The first was a young woman whose story was truly heart wrenching, then they paraded out the token gay guy. I had seen this trick before when I took a 40-hour volunteer course for the Family Justice Center, where, to offer up a victim and show gender inclusiveness, they paraded out a gay guy whose lover stuck a knife somewhere. Nevertheless, this gourmet bash was different; this gay guy was a reformed perp. Whoa! A reformed perp gay guy, how progressive is that? Moreover, he was Hispanic. One has to applaud the multi-faceted diversity. I felt honored just to be there, especially since so few heterosexual guys were in the group, relatively speaking.

Curiously, they had a gay guy who abused another gay guy, and a woman abused by many men, but no lesbian who abused another lesbian, or man abused by many women. No women who abused anyone? Now how did that happened?

A gnarly story about kinky lesbian intimate violence would have added a bit of color. Maybe even a passing mention about the lesbian dilemma and theoretical debate about lesbian consensual sadomasochism and how it squares with intimate abuse and the law.

But, Hey, why discuss anything relevant to help lesbians? No reason to “…disrupt certain dominant feminist homogenizing views,” as remarked by Janice Ristock in her landmark work No More Secrets: Violence in Lesbian Relationships, wherein she also reports that a whopping 48% of the lesbians she studied experienced sexual assaults by their lesbian lovers. Lesbian Ristock says,

“(Her) whole book is a refusal of the science/social drive to create all-explanatory models. (Her) point is that all such models, all monolithic understandings of abuse, are flawed. ‘Mutual abuse’ is wrong, ‘power and control’ is wrong, ‘effects of patriarchy’ is wrong when indiscriminately applied.”

Go girl! Ristock put herself at great risk in the feminist community by sharing her thoughts and findings.

KPBS’s monolithically myopic production Breaking the Silence, Journeys of Hope, took no risks and walks straight down the industry line of delusional sobriety. More apt is, Causing More Violence, Travels in Omission by the Politically Correct; or, perhaps, Blame the Big Bad Man and Shame the Male Child, Adventures in Misandry and Other Card Tricks.

The panel discussion came next. On stage were Sterling Alexander, PhD., licensed clinical psychologist and the Chair of San Diego County’s Commission on Children, Youth and Families Child Abuse Prevention Committee. To his left sat Pat McGrath, Deputy District Attorney, Assistant Chief of the Family Protection Division. Then came Aurora Zepeda, M.P.A., who advises various organizations on policies concerning the whole range of victimhood, from infancy until death. Last, was Vincent J. Felitti, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine at the University of California and founder of the California Institutes of Preventive Medicine. Dr. Felitti conducted research on the long-term relationship of adverse childhood experiences to adult health.

I must say, with no disrespect, that I don’t remember much of what this esteemed panel said, since I’d heard the bullet points many times before; so, the information bounced off me with the redundancy of Klingon torpedoes caroming off Starship Enterprise’s force field. When at such events, I hear a continuous subliminal chorus chanting, “bIjatlh ‘e’ yImev. naDevvo’ yIghoS. bIjatlh ‘e’ yImev. naDevvo’ yIghoS…,” which in Klingon means, “Shut up. Go away. Shut up. Go away…” Paranoia can be fun. No matter, there were a few memorable moments.

MC Gloria Penner, host of the popular local KPBS show “Editors Roundtable,” asked the panel a question about emotional abuse, which panel members seemed to quickly sidestep. The question also gave me a great lead for a question. I raised my hand when the question period began and was chosen. I offered something like, “I want to thank Ms. Penner for raising the issue of emotional abuse. I wonder if Mr. McGrath would explain how many emotional abusers the District Attorney’s Office has prosecuted for paternity fraud, parental alienation, and false accusations.” The room got quiet, but McGrath deftly fielded the question. His short answer, none. His long answer pitched such matters back to family court. McGrath was truthful, to his credit.

Part 3 will be posted tomorrow.

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