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My heart goes out to her. It is terrible what she is going through. I even believe that she is genuine when she says that she is making efforts to meet any demands he may have (financial/visitation). But things change, people change their minds.
I have to assume that he does not want to maintain a relationship with her (the EX-fiance bit), so he would need to make stipulations that removed himself from her's and the child's life. It wouldn't be fair to him, her, or the child for him to maintain a false relationship.
If he does allow it, with the stipulation that he is not their father, and has no obligation towards them, and she changes her mind, he is screwed.
If he does nothing, there is no outstanding liability.
I hate to put it that way, but its that simple as far as I'm concerned.
Besides, what kind of life can she offer to the child. I think its fairly irresponsible and selfish of her to want a child at this point in her life.
There are a lot of reasons to say "no", and very few to say "yes".
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by oregon dad on 08:27 PM March 8th, 2006 EST (#2)
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I've heard the story too many times "I don't want anything from you"....only to have her change her mind (as women are prone to do!).
I suggest running as far away as possible, as fast as possible, and close the book on this gal once and for all.
She can only offer heartache and financial doom!!
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by Davidadelong on 10:49 AM March 9th, 2006 EST (#3)
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All she is thinking about is herself. Her statements of I will try to provide, and to be the mother I so want to be are telling. The Guy for once is sitting in the cat bird seat. He should just let her embryos rot. Unless of course he wants to pay child support.......Besides, why can't she find another sucker to provide sperm for her eggs?
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Her eggs have likely been rendered useless by her cancer treatment. It's not uncommon for couples to fertilize eggs and store the embryos just before undergoing certain cancer treatments. It allows the couple to go ahead and have children if the treatment works, but the patient is rendered sterile.
The problem I have with it is that it doesn't sound like the treatment worked. That's why she's so desperate to have a child now. She wants one before she dies... And that's fair to the kid?
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by Night Angel on 01:15 PM March 11th, 2006 EST (#5)
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"Besides, why can't she find another sucker to provide sperm for her eggs?"
First, I would like to say that I sympathize with her, but I think that the ex is making the right choice.
That being said, I would like to kindly point out that she has no more eggs to be fetilized by anyone. The only way she can now have a biological child is through the ALREADY fertilized embryos in storage.
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by Davidadelong on 11:57 PM March 11th, 2006 EST (#6)
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by Davidadelong on 12:03 AM March 12th, 2006 EST (#7)
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OK, that being said, a womans' desires do not rule common sense. Just because she wants to have a child before she dies, why should she have power over the Man that has opted out of her agreement "before" they both agreed? A woman has no more rights than a Man as a Human being, PERIOD! Until we realize that fact we are helping the system divide us. "It is a good day to die!" Of course if one were to support the system then they would agree that having more Children that are dissafected helps the system, because dissafected Children are easier to manipulate, aren't they?
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Anonymous User writes "A woman is required to get her ex-fiance's permission to use their stored frozen embryos. This is a score for men, finally. In this case HE has the "choice" of wether or not a pregnancy proceeds. Link is