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Depression and then Autism! Hey, what the heck. My son and I are both Aspies (Aspberger's Syndrome).
Hmm.
Fortunately for both my boy and I, our cases are rather mild; I didn't even get diagnosed with mine until he got diagnosed with his (The Doc wondered where it came from.) I've learned adaptation over the years, and how to put on the front, and react appropriately.
Well, it's just a "male" thing so don't hold your breath on anyone doing anything other than talking about it.
* Putting the SMACKDOWN on Feminazis since 1989! *
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Myself, being a person who is not too socially astute (I've often wondered if I might not have Asperger's, at least mildly), I can attest that it is not inherently a good thing to be a "non-people" person in a world where everyone seems to judge you, first and foremost, on your people skills. Women certainly judge you by it, and to a lesser extent, so do men. I think, ultimately, that the greatest immediate advantage a human being can have, in modern society, is social aptitude. All my life, I've observed people who were really great socializers (men and women), and marveled at the luxuries they seemed to enjoy for it. People with the autistic ("male") pattern might be geniuses and make a lot of money, but on an every-day basis, the real "rich" people I see are the ones who have an easy and natural rapport with other people.
That said - the vast majority of the women I know are "rich" in this way. Everyday, I see what I perceive as the real privilege of women - the privilege that comes when people think of you as a nice, friendly person.
I also think that the apathy (or downright antipathy) directed at men in today's society is directly founded in the female social advantage. I think that, even when faced with bald-faced truths about how men get a rotten deal, people are still less than compelled by the plight of men because they perceive men to be jerks, at least compared with women. Those same people are almost unconditionally moved and compelled by the plight of women, because women are "such nice people...what monster would be cruel to a woman?"
Maybe the real, universal human plight of men is that, just like women with regards to physical weakness, men have to learn to adapt, survive and prevail in society despite being less socially astute than other people would like us to be. I know this isn't a problem for all men - but compared to the average woman, I think the average man is probably perceived as a little less sympathetic, and a little less worthy of people's compassion because maybe he doesn't smile as much or act as genuinely interested in your precious children.
I would also like to say - speaking, again, as a person with social difficulties and an admitted dislike for social situations - that this does not necessarily make a person cold, or unloving, or unappreciative of people. As strangely fascinated as I am by "things", I also feel a healthy desire for feelings of interpersonal connectedness. I guess maybe I just don't pursue those desires in a straight-forward way. Instead of hugging a person, I write them a poem or draw them a picture, or give them a CD I burned with music I think they'll like. There are a lot of people who probably think I'm unloving or I hate people. But I'm not. I just don't express it the same as they might expect.
That's something I wish the article would have gotten into.
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See, I come across, in person, as wooden. Humor seems forced, and I have to force myself to smile or otherwise express any emotion. This iis not that I don't feel it, but I have little empathy for pain I don't identify with. (A father sad or angry because his children have been stolen by the courts arouses sympathy. Your dog died? Don't know how you feel. Never had a dog.)
* Putting the SMACKDOWN on Feminazis since 1989! *
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I think in my case it has more to do with social anxiety, which is another disorder people can have. But I could trace that back to external factors in my personal background. Ultimately, in dealing with people, I'm profusely concerned about saying the wrong thing or reacting somehow inappropriately to something. So, as soon as I engage in conversation with someone (unless it's someone I'm really, really, comfortable with), I find myself more worried about "passing" the facial/verbal reaction test than I am actually engaging in the discourse. It's like a hurdle I have to jump every time - so, naturally, I avoid it.
As far as the empathy thing goes - I don't think I've ever had a problem being able to "tell" what mood people are in, or when they are happy or sad, etc. It's usually more of a psychological than an emotional reaction, though. I'm not overwhelmed with sadness at seeing someone else who's sad. I may feel equally sad about the thing that makes them sad, but I don't feel sad just because another person is - if that's what "empathy" is supposed to mean.
Anyway, I can usually tell what people are feeling, yet I shy away from actively responding to it. It's the same as with normal dialogue - I'm too afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. It's almost like I have a rapist complex or something - if I "touch" somebody or reach out to them in some way, I may offend or overstep the boundaries.
Personally, I tend to prefer dealing privately with my own emotional turmoil. And crying embarrasses me to the extreme, so I'd never do that in front of anyone if I could help it. So, I guess I tend to project my own preference for privacy on other people and therefore don't feel it's "right" to interfere.
Not that it isn't sometimes a cop-out, either - I'll admit.
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