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The Importance of the Family
by R. F. Doyle, Men's Defense Association
Recent events should remind us to keep things in perspective, and distinguish the important from the unimportant. Of all things, the family is one of the most important. Strong families make America strong, and more capable of standing up to our enemies, both external and internal.
Unfortunately, the family is not faring well. About half of marriages are ending in divorce. Twenty four million children live with only their mothers. The fatherless ghetto pattern, a relatively recent phenomenon, is becoming commonplace. Consequently, delinquency, crime and other aberrations are skyrocketing.
What has transpired in the last 4 or 5 decades to cause all this? Cultural mores and immorality are certainly to blame, but another factor is even more at blame: anti-male prejudice. While this prejudice exists in several areas, how it exists in domestic relations is of special importance. Both conservatives and liberals are guilty of this mindset: conservatives out of misplaced chivalry, and liberals out of mod. interpretations of political correctness. Both are influenced by, and fear, the feminist juggernaught.
Consider the Elian Gonzalez matter. Conservatives REALLY blew it there. And we claim to be pro-family! It gags me to agree with Janet Reno, but she was right on that issue. Children belong with their fathers - even in Cuba.
Contrary to popular opinion, men are not abandoning their families wholesale, to run off with some bimbo. But many women are doing just that. Almost 80% of divorces are initiated by wives, justifiably confident in walking away with child custody and huge financial settlements, often too huge for men to pay.
Single fathers have demonstrated that they can be good parents, often better than single mothers. Nevertheless, divorce courts enforce what they consider to be men's responsibilities and women's rights, almost exclusively.
Every man is but a guest in his own home, living there only at the forbearance of his wife. He is evictable at a moment's notice if she tires of him or makes unsubstantiated allegations of abuse. This ploy is resorted to in an astonishing number of cases.
Nowadays, men are avoiding marriage and other commitments. Who can blame them? Some are afraid even to associate with or talk freely around women. If we could guarantee men that any children they may father would be inalienably theirs in more than just a monetary sense, they would be more receptive to marriage, and there would be far fewer divorces.
Anti-male prejudice in divorce is but one facet of a much broader phenomenon, one that is so politically incorrect it's seldom mentioned in polite circles. If this country is to overcome many of the dangers facing it, external as well as internal, this prejudice must be recognized for the danger it poses. The very male image is under attack. Not all men are Jack the Ripper, nor are all women Mother Theresa. The restless, active boys that teachers seem too quick to drug with Ritalin are the very ones that may protect us with their energy in time of crisis - if they haven't been demasculinized.
It would take more space than available here to propose remedies, so I'll summarize them in one phrase - fairness and equal rights for men.
Of the two persuasions, because they have more common sense, conservatives (and some Libertarians) would appear to be more educable on these matters. I'll grant that fairness and equal rights for men is a unique concept, and feminists would scream bloody murder. But if conservatives supported it strongly, perfidious feminist influence would be greatly diminished.
Last week, putting aside considerations of personal danger, I flew from relatively safe Minnesota to address the Conservative Leadership Conference Washington D.C. Several men's and father's organizations attended in an effort to convince conservative leaders of the importance of saving our families by removing the incentives to destroy it. There were many think tanks there. We gave them something worthy to think about.
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