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Dear NCADV:
Thanks for posting your informative site. I have looked at it, and found that it makes some common erroneous assumptions about domestic violence. Specifically, your site seems totally to ignore the fact that women commit about half of domestic violence, and that men are often abused.
To get a more clear picture of the problem, I invite you to look at some of the information available from the Men's Activism News Network. The following Web page links to three downloadable information flyers that will give you the basics of the problem of male victims of domestic violence.
/dv_flyers.shtml
Thank you for your interest.
Warm regards,
Steve Imparl, JD
Attorney and Counselor at Law
Chicago, Illinois USA
Copy to: Men's Activism News Network
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Hey, thanks Steve! While I have no idea whether they're going to change their views (NCADV is a *major* heavyweight DV/feminist advocacy group), I think every time they hear from someone who knows the truth about domestic violence, they know their time advocating misleading information is running out.
Scott
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Scott,
It is important to get the truth out. I tried to stay positive and respectful in my message.
Steve
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This is what I sent--I don't normally have the cojones to talk *to* these orgs, but I gave it a shot.
**********
From the website--“The Public Policy Office works in coalition with other organizations fighting to end oppression in the lives of women and all human beings here in the United States and abroad.”
Every time I see another organization such as yours, which presumes that only women are victims and only men are offenders, I feel more saddened, more hopeless at the prospect of a future run by people who are apparently not aware of the scope of the oppression caused by their very organizations.
I wonder at the motivations of a group who can blithely ignore not only male victims, but female offenders, who are equally in need of help. How many men and children must die at the hands of violent women before groups such as yours stop congratulating yourselves on the ‘work’ you’re doing, step back, and assess the real impact of your efforts?
If you were honest with yourselves, you would understand that the only thing accomplished by establishing temporary fortresses in which a few women may hide for a time, and laws that remove men from their homes, thus destroying families, is to create fear. Every year it gets worse, as fear and distrust between sexes is encouraged and aided by those who claim to help them.
Why is it there is never a section on websites such as this one for those who have been helped, and turned their lives around? Where are the success stories? Where are the healed families? In ten years working for private charities, I saw many successes coming from various agencies, but never one from our local battered women’s shelter. I’ve come to believe the system itself, of hiding and blaming is nothing more than a self-perpetuating cycle that will never end as long as only half the problem is addressed.
Sincerely,
Trudy W. Schuett
Publisher, The DesertLight Journal
P.O. Box 1252 Yuma AZ 85366
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs the river."
http://www.desertlightjournal.homestead.com/index. html
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Nice work, Trudy and Steve. Even if they don't "see the light," they'll have to live with the knowledge that they may be creating a problem rather than solving one. Thanks.
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by Anonymous User on Wednesday October 03, @07:15AM EST (#6)
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Dear sirs and/or madams:
After perusing various pages at www.ncadv.org, such as www.ncadv.org/community/dvamonth.htm, www.ncadv.org/problem/what.htm, www.ncadv.org/problem/why.htm, www.ncadv.org/problem/barriers.htm, www.ncadv.org/problem/predictors.htm, www.ncadv.org/gettinghelp/support.htm, and www.ncadv.org/problem/why2.htm, I must say I am quite saddened.
As a domestic violence survivor myself, it always saddens me when organizations, especially non-profit organizations allegedly trying to help in the cause against domestic violence actually harm the cause by spreading misinformation and popular myths. The above pages, for example, continue the myth that domestic violence is exclusively, or nearly exclusively a crime committed by men against women. Continual studies by Strauss, Gelles Steinmetz et al among many others, as well as my own personal experience show this to just not be the case. In fact, it is becoming quite clear that nearly half of all domestic violence today is committed by women. It truly is a "gender-blind" crime."
Why is this important? Because the significant portion of domestic violence victims unfortunate enough to be male are routinely denied services based on such popular falacies. Men battered by their wives have summoned police for assistance only to be arrested themselves because police are trained that men can only be aggressors by sites and organizations such as yours. When I finally sought assistance, the family violence center told me I was ineligible because their models only treat men as abusers and women as victims. That everyone who knew us knew otherwise meant nothing to them. My hospital records of injuries she had inflicted on me meant nothing to them. They were blinded by the misinformation rampant in our society, often spread with good intentions -- as I hope is the case with your site.
I want to be part of the solution. If you like, I would be happy to supply you with more balanced information and assist you in re-wording your site to use less sexist language. Feel free to email me at davnbabs@airmail.net.
David Schmidt
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Nice work, David. Friendly, fair, yet assertive. I'm sorry that happened to you, by the way. This is what a letter-writing campaign should be. Thanks to everyone who is taking this initiative!!!
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