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On January 24, the Montel Williams show was on
the subject of female to male domestic violence.
Unfortunately, the show was not billed this way. It
was billed as, "Women Who Abuse for Attention" - which
is exactly what a graphic at the bottom left hand
corner of the screen read through out the entire
telecast. (This graphic seemed to lend a slight sense
of legitimacy to the behavior of these women. Can you
imagine a TV talk show on "Men Who Abuse to Stop
Nagging"? I can't.)
Indeed, the show was revealing in that a number of men
disclosed, in detail, the violence perpetrated against
them by the women in their lives. And Williams chipped
in nicely on a couple of occasions, pointing out that
a hurled ashtray could hit someone in the temple
thereby causing severe injury, even a fatality.
However, too much of the telecast was spent with the
women attempting to justify their behavior, or the
couples discussing the attendant problems in their
relationships, or the the audience snickering at the
experiences of the male victims. One of the experts, a
psychologist, even broke into laughter a couple of
times. Much too much of the show possessed a
lighthearted tone. There existed a lack of
seriousness through out - a tone that wouldn't have
been there had this been about men abusing women.
Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that ANYONE with the
media power that Montel Williams possesses would do
ANYTHING to reveal this hidden social ill to the
public. I was just hoping for a show that not only
exposed the problem but also went into the dynamics of
female to male domestic violence, with a sense of
compassion. Instead, the biggest round of applause
during the show occurred when Williams admonished the
men by saying, "You have to figure out, ... why you
put yourself in a relationship like this." I'm a grad
student in counseling doing my thesis on the
inadequate understanding that counselors have of this
problem. There are a lot of dynamics that could have
been explored, a lot of very unique issues these men
face. Unfortunately, these issues weren't brought up
until near the end of the show and it was the men
themselves, and author of "Abused Men" Philip Cook,
another expert, who brought them up. Cook pointed out
that "a lot of times the man will be the one most
injured ... and yet, he is arrested." He also noted
that "men have no place to call. Where's the men's
crisis lines?"
Kudos to Williams for giving this problem exposure. I
just hope that the next TV program on female to male
domestic violence will have the compassionate tone
that exists when the genders are switched.
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