Judge rules mothers can keep fathers out of delivery rooms, need not inform of birth

Article here. Excerpt:

'A New Jersey court decision makes it clear, it may take two to tango but not to give birth.

“It’s well established under federal and state law that there is a privacy right when a woman’s in labor.”

Rutgers professor and family law expert Sally Goldfarb says a Passaic County judge made the right call last November in his decision, which was published this week, when he sided with pregnant woman that her ex-fiancee had no legal right to be in the delivery room.

“What this man was seeking to do was really interfere with the woman’s ability to exercise her own choices about giving birth in privacy and that to me falls outside of the rights that a father is legitimately entitled to.”

In the decision, believed to be the first of its kind, the father was also told he didn’t have a right to know when the baby was born.

Jeff Golden of Fathers & Children’s Equality says, “It’s a sad day for fathers, and for father’s and men’s rights.”

Jeff Golden worries this sort of ruling paves the way for some fathers to be nothing more than visitors and pay checks to their own children.
...
Ashley Silva of Camden says, “Obviously, she’s delivering the baby [but] the father is also a part of the baby’s life, so I feel like he should be there, too.”

Lauren Martinez of Camden says, “If she wants her mom there or a coach or whoever that’s fine, but the man should at least be notified. I feel like that’s a right that a man should have.”

CBS 3’s Cleve Bryan spoke to the lawyer for the father in this case who says the two parents worked out an acceptable arraignment and so there will not be an appeal.'

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I mentioned in an earlier post of today on this issue that indeed the patient in the hospital has the right to determine what non-essential people can be present during a procedure, including child-birth. That's bigger than anything else. But to *not* inform the father of the delivery?

Let's see, men have no right to know now (at least, not in New Jersey) that a child they fathered has been born. Not even if he happens to be in the same hospital. In essence, he has no rights at all vis-a-vis the baby, yet, she can come after him for child support if she chooses. Or not chooses. It's all up to her. She gets "all the choice".

It's an ad for vasectomies.

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I've given birth 3 times and have worked as a registered nurse. I have worked in delivery rooms during my internship and have also worked in ER....

IMO, the only people who belong in any operating room is the patient and the medical team. Anyone else is a guest by choice. This is a work environment where medical professionals are expected and paid under contract to do their jobs, they also have liability. If a mother does not want the father in the delivery room, the medical team will side with her as her stress level can effect the outcome of the medical procedure. The mother and the baby are the patients, the father is not.

Medical privacy is another issue. During the delivery of a baby the mothers health history is discussed loudly and often. Even if it is already documented in chart notes - no one has time to read thru notes. Typically a mother is asked several times what number pregnancy is this for her and how her previous pregnancies ended. STDs are another concern. The delivery team cant have a mother feeling inhibited from sharing this information.

...Also, I personally feel that a mother should have a legal reasonability to inform a man of paternity. IMO, it is legally conflicting when we consider the legal demands on the father, his rights and the best interest of the child and child's rights. He should have access to his child ASAP within reason. And in a perfect world he would have an equal claim in custody.

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Well, I suppose I have an odd take on this one.

I was in the delivery room for both my children's birth. My wife initially resisted and then complied. I wish she had resisted me.

As the years go on, I see her point. And... gulp! here it comes... I am no longer so certain fathers should be in the delivery room. In my own case, it is not something I needed to see. And over the years, I actually remember very little of it, except a kind of salacious and dominating feeling of being the observer. Nothing could have involved me in that birth like she was. And I am only left with a kind of impotent memory.

If I want to know birth, I could easily search youtube.

I am not yet ready to say it stands for all. If a mom and dad agree, it is their choice. And I am sure as the years fly, I will moderate again.

Hmmm... how to put this...

Maternity is a kind of brutal certainty: we know who the mother is.
Despite DNA testing, Paternity has an aspect that is uncertain: it is removed nine months in time.

I tend to see a God in the heavens - a God of the Uncertain and unknown. And I see this god as male.
I see a god of the earth - a god of the certain and known. And this god is female.
(I see the power and force as the love between the known and the unknown; between the god and goddess.)

(Unfortunately, we like to emasculate god in heaven while we continue to adore mother earth - but that is a longer, other story.)

As I age, I tend to see the birth process a female. And I have no issue with tha (frankly, I had more fun helping to make the baby ;-). I have no issue with cultures that surround the birthing women with women. I am no longer so sure men should be midwives. Birth is a woman's thing.

I think there are roles for men and women. I am no longer so sure they should be mixed up.

I find that my role as father is now surging and blossoming like never before. Up till now, I did the band aids, the kissing, the cuddling, the story reading, the diapers, the changing, the cleaning of the vomit... all of that. But I always felt a kind of detachment: my wife had the breasts and my kids had a long memory. My loving, patient wife would say "just you wait and see..."

And now both kids are passing 9 years and I am like a magnet to them: my force is unseen and unknown and they are drawn to me while my wife sits back, smiling.

I told my wife once, a few years ago: "you were right. There was no need for me to be there. You delivered them to life, I'll deliver them to adulthood. You can watch me do it, but there was no need for me to watch you do yours."

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