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by Dittohd on 01:50 PM March 1st, 2005 EST (#1)
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>The book was simply ahead of its time: too many women still too angry, and too many men oppressed by male-bashing and anti-patriarchal rhetoric!
Do you really think much has changed since you wrote the original of this book?
I don't know how you plan to redo it, but I highly suggest that you seek some serious advice from a number of women since they are your target audience.
I bought the book (used) after seeing it mentioned on this website and found it really, really boring. Much too schmaltzy for me, but then I'm a man. I couldn't get through it.
I would suggest that you look at yourself (no, this is not a personal attack... it's your personality that sells the book when you're interviewed on radio stations), your writing style, and the book's chapter format rather than at the world as a whole for the reasons your original book didn't sell.
I really appreciate your attitude towards men, but it doesn't do us much good if your book doesn't sell.
Dittohd
P.S. Anyone here interested in buying my copy from me to see whether you agree with me and to maybe offer some better opinions and suggestions for improvement? The original retail price is $10.95. I'll sell it for $4.50 plus $2.00 shipping. It's in "Good" condition. No writing or highlighting or remainder mark in or on it.
It's for a good cause, don't you think?
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by Gregory on 11:33 PM March 1st, 2005 EST (#2)
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I also appreciate Rachel Snyder's attitude toward men. It's true that her book may be a little too touchy-feely for some men. For what it's worth, I liked the interview format of Jack Kammer's book "Good Will Toward Men - Women Talk Candidly About the Balance of Power Between the Sexes" (St Martin's Press).
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by Rachel Snyder on 12:07 AM March 2nd, 2005 EST (#3)
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Thanks Dittohd and Gregory for your comments. The book belongs to the gift book category -- truly an unfettered waxing poetic about a spectrum of men's qualities, body, mind and soul. No rhetoric, no politics. Not meant to be read cover-to-cover. Some women take their man into the bathtub and read aloud the pages that resonate. Some men keep the book by their bed and each morning flip to a page to inform their meditation or reflection for the day.
Conventional publishing wisdom says, yes, that women buy all the books, yet I always saw this book for men, too. For deepening self-esteem, for authentic empowerment, for re-membering and honoring their fathers, their brothers, sons, bosses, mentors, etc. I feel it a privilege to know men as friends, lovers, husband, son, father, brother, mentor, etc...
I have always seen the words on these pages as a tool. Here's a question I'd love to explore: Are there a lot of men who are truly uncomfortable in the presence of a woman who finds power, strength, and beauty in a man's voice, his foolhardiness, his discipline, his vanity, the noises he makes, the jeans he wears, his fire, his defiance, his humility - and on and on...?
How, then, can a woman writer celebrate the mundane as well as sublime qualities of her brothers in a way that they will be able to hear and receive the gift of acknowledgment and appreciation?
All of your comments - including those who have contacted me directly, will directly assist my efforts to use this content in the most effective way possible. For that, I continue to be grateful...
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by Dittohd on 03:52 PM March 2nd, 2005 EST (#4)
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>Are there a lot of men who are truly uncomfortable in the presence of a woman who finds power, strength, and beauty in a man's voice, his foolhardiness, his discipline, his vanity, the noises he makes, the jeans he wears, his fire, his defiance, his humility - and on and on...?
I don't understand this question. What you're describing is exactly what turns a man on. The problem is that American women today are being taught to respond toward men in just the opposite way, so I see American women being desensitized to their true feelings toward men, where they are afraid to truely and honestly show their real feelings when in the presence of men. What's more, men are so desensitized against expecting this type of reaction from a woman anymore, I don't believe men even expect this from women anymore when choosing a mate. A sad state of affairs.
All the more reason why it is so important for you to package and market this book so that it attracts the largest possible audience.
Dittohd
P.S. I was watching a Dr. Phil show two or three weeks ago where he opened the show with just single women in the audience in one half the audience seats. When he said that the show was going to be about finding these women their ideal man, (the chosen single men hadn't been let into the audience seats yet) the women all cheered and clapped and whooped it up with little abandon and great big smiles on their faces. As the men who were picked as their ideal matches by an internet dating service were let into the audience and afterward allowed to find and sit next to their chosen matches based on their name tags, the women's demeanor changed and were a lot more reserved, especially when a few were individually asked by Dr. Phil later in the show how they were doing. In fact, Dr. Phil even commented on how "underwhelming" their comments seemed to be
Don't you get the impression that the fear is really in women and that women are today afraid of strong men because of how men are continuously portrayed in the media?
If I was a woman in America today, I'd be afraid of men too!
I'm not saying it's women's fault, but I would never marry or even date an American woman given the choice because I don't believe that a truly close and intimate, mutually rewarding relationship between a man and woman in America today is possible anymore.
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by Dittohd on 10:43 PM March 3rd, 2005 EST (#5)
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>Are there a lot of men who are truly uncomfortable in the presence of a woman who finds power, strength, and beauty in a man's voice, his foolhardiness, his discipline, his vanity, the noises he makes, the jeans he wears, his fire, his defiance, his humility - and on and on...?
This question really took me aback, considering it comes from a woman who seems to love men. I've been wondering why you'd ask such a weird, what I would consider ridiculous, question.
After thinking about it for a day or two, I've come to the conclusion that it may not be such a ridiculous question after all, coming from a woman .
I now suspect that you or a friend got this impression possibly because you acted towards a man in the ways you describe in the above paragraph and then had him react in a way contrary to what you were expecting. So you automatically assumed that he was responding only to this particular part of your behavior.
Men, (and I'm sure most women) react not only to what women do presently but what they've been doing all along. If what you're doing now is diametrically opposed to how you've acted in the past, he is likely to be suspicious and not believe that you are truly sincere. He may even think that you are playing games, or trying to manipulate him in some way, or having fun at his expense, or trying to act in a certain way just to see if you can cause him to "jump" or act in a certain way, like you would a puppet on a string. If your man doesn't like being controlled or manipulated, a strong reaction contrary to what you're expecting is likely if he doesn't believe that your actions are sincere and heartfelt.
This question sounded to me a lot like the tired rant of many women today who whine about men being afraid of "strong' women. They call themselves strong based, I guess, on their ability to hold down a good-paying job. Then when they date men and are not called back, they immediately cry that men are afraid of strong women. Give me a break! Considering all the different factors that go into choosing a mate and all the things that are said and not said on a date, how can anyone say with any degree of certainty why someone is reacting to them in a certain way without actually asking them? And even then, how would you know you're getting the whole truth?
Don't you think men have a right to choose any type of woman they want without being criticized for it? Women today seem to want to act any way they want, but then cry and try to manipulate men when men don't fall in line and like them the way they're acting.
Well men have a right to act the way they please just like women do. Don't you think? If women are really concerned about what men think, maybe they should ask us. That, of course, would not be PC today because these days, women are only supposed to do things to please themselves. (How boring!)
Dittohd
P.S.P.S. Whoops! Did I get a bit off subject there towards the end?
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