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According to Barash, we are about to see the rise of "the New Wife - a young woman who has gone to university to get a prestigious degree, then used it to land a fabulously successful man, who can provide her with a pretty house for the children and holidays in France. She could work if she wanted to, but chooses to stay home with the kids."
And where, pray tell, are all these "fabulously successful" men going to come from?
It reminds me of a trophy wife I knew a few years ago, who was great looking, but a world class kook and dimwit. She dabbled in new age nonsense and claimed that she got her 7,000 sq ft house with "magic" - her huband's six-figure income had nothing to do with it.
Even if men were idiots enough to fall for it (and very little which has happened in the past 40 years gives me a huge amount of hope otherwise), there just aren't enough "fabulously successful" men to go around. Women have been getting the majority of the college degrees and the management and above level jobs for 2 decades. For every man who can afford a French vacation, there are likely to be 100 for whom dinner and a movie requires planning and frugality.
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Thanks, Thomas, we gotta keep our sense of humor, or we will go totally looney. A bit of acid wit helps us get through some days, y'know.
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Zen,
This comment was almost exactly what I was going to say. Thank you for writing it more eloquently than I could.
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Sometimes I think so loud that I make the mistake of assuming that others can hear it.
There is an implication to the shift in women's thinking that I think does not bode nearly as well for men as some might naively assume.
At the end of the 80s, men and women were fairly close to negotiating a successful truce. Then, Susan Faludi came up with gasoline to pour on the dying fire and got it to flare up again.
I would caution men to not expect for one second that women will reflect any sense at all about this cultural change, and for their anger toward men to actually increase and get more bitter than it has been as they are forced to live with the realities which feminism has thrust upon them. Women have so far never failed to find a way to blame their own stupid choices on men, I do not expect this to be any exception.
In short, I expect the war to get a lot worse, A LOT WORSE, before it gets any better. Expect endless bashing of men for their "lack of ambition" and even more heavy-handed shaming tactics toward men who can't afford French vacations. Naomi Wolf has already signalled her intention to blame men's loss of interest in women, on porn.
Keep your eyes open, guys, the next ugly turn is going to be REALLY ugly.
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by Anonymous User on Monday January 26, @11:33PM EST (#6)
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"real women can't compete with porn stars..."
I'm confused now.
Real women involve the law and then get exorbitent amounts of money for sex.
Porn is cheaper and safer and the women are actually more attractive.
Naomi, you're right. It looks like the porn matriarchy just replaced the patriarchy by having all the money, power, and control.
At least men finally figured out that all women are prostitutes out to ripe them off by having sex with them.
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday January 27, @01:38AM EST (#8)
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"They're unable to compete with photographs."
SLAM !!! Damn, the truth does hurt...
-hobbes
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If they (ordinary women) can't compete with photographs of porn stars, they need not be disheartened.
A few hours of self-tutoring using PhotoShop will do the trick!
Preferably Version 7 or newer, because there are plug-ins available that will erase or retouch almost any residual ugly feminist artifacts.
You GO grrrrlls!
"It's a terrible thing ... living in fear."
- Roy: hunted replicant, Blade Runner
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[i]They're unable to compete with photographs.[/i]
LOL!!!
Amen. Not even supermodels can compete with their own photos.
Retouching tool, thou art powerful! (If deceptive.)
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Women will surely insist upon blaming men for what they are now experiencing... an increasing dearth of male victims who are unwilling... or even remotely interested... in committing their souls to the marriage trap.
Blaming porn is a cute diversion!
What women really can't abide is when men turn their attentions and energies in any direction other than toward Pavlovian pussy-centric enticements.
It will indeed be ugly, but necessary.
The most radical strategy now is for men to simply do a Nancy Reagan and "just say no!"
"It's a terrible thing ... living in fear."
- Roy: hunted replicant, Blade Runner
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I agree that things will get much worse. The wholesale hatred of men is still very popular among women. It actually surprises me when I meet a woman who actually likes men. But usually I meet women who think that life sucks because men have not adequately worshipped them. Yeah, excuse me for not solving all your problems princess. None of this can be their own fault.
Now in addition to oppressing women, we're the ones denying them happiness and a nice home and those vacations in France. Why can't we understand that we need to let women hate us so that they can be happy?
A large percentage of the female population is poisoned with this and will never be able to change. And men are tired of all the BS and simply won't take it. Oh yeah, it's going to get ugly in the coming years.
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday January 27, @11:23AM EST (#10)
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Quote: "he did grunt to acknowledge my existence. I'm in marriage heaven."
That's the way it should be. What happened to us guys? I'll tell you what happened. Somebody told women they should start enjoying sex, too. That was the beginning of the end. Now they like it, but... it's work for us!. You know who I blame? Hillary!"
Madcap Misogynist
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The author of the 911 article responded to my post about it. I have again responded, have a look and see if I left out anything. http://forums.about.com/ab-womenshist/messages?msg =420.5
The Biscuit Queen
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Jen,
I couldn't get the "link" to work. Am I being blond or ....
Little help here plz.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday January 27, @03:30PM EST (#15)
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Steven,
try taking the space out between the "g" and "="
I just tried the link and it worked for me.
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Ok ... I was being Forrest Gump. I got it to link. Jen, you gonna reply to this person? I would LOVE to see a TBQ rationed, reasoned, emotic reply to this woman. (blatant egging on by Steven here in case you missed it).
Lemme know, your loyal fan awaits.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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I did, I wrote the one about how disgusted I was at the article, then she wrote did I even read it, so I did reply. Maybe she deleted it, I have seen quite a few deleted. I'll keep checking and let you know. She seems quite arrogant. And I will take the goad! ;-) The Biscuit Queen
Dave K - A Radical Moderate
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First off I had a hard time finding this damn thing as this should be under the "9/11" thread. Ack ... plz remember I am blond and therefore cerebrally challenged.
Hey, can I join this thread and tag team this wanker with ya? I mean, it's your bar-b-que, it looks mighty tasty and it's too easy to rip her up. And yes, I noticed she deleted post #4. Was that yours? I saw your new one. Let me know if I can lend a hand. Till then I'm salivating at the chance.
"I see you now, as greyhounds, staining at the slips"
"then would he slip his sleeves, show his scars, and say with advantages: these wounds did I receive on St Crispens day."
ok ok .... I read too much.
Hey, I live in Nome. It's fucking WINTER here. Let me describe Nome to ya: (this is from an SYG post)
NOME ALASKA. Let me tell you how SMALL town and frontier we are. We have **2** local stations ... and their selections are .... umm, well ... they're odd. (lets leave it at that). If we want to FIND someone(who may live w/out a phone - not that uncommon) in the surrounding villages we put out a radio message and then the local villagers send out a CB message to let him/her know. How do I further define SMALL FRONTIER TOWN to ya?! When one of my NCOs visited a neighboring village .... he went by SNOW MOBILE. We are on the Berring Sea. Ya know, the one close to RUSSIA. Right now the OCEAN is frozen. Which is why milk is **$6.00** a gallon (it has to be flown in - ever see pictures of COWS here in Alaska?!). It's why I make a TON of money even just being in the Army - the cost of living is sky high. Only TOKYO, HAWAII, and one or two other places has such high COLA (Cost of Living Adjustment) and BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing). In about 3-4 months when the OCEAN thaws out we get BARGES that resupply us at a slightly lower price than the air freight. Am I painting a pretty picture here? Last time we slept outside (2 weeks ago) we built SNOW CAVES. We dug down about 4-6 feet, then dug a 4-10 foot horizontal tunnel and then hollowed out a sleeping cave. Oh, don't forget the airhole you have to poke through with a ski pole for breathing. My co-worker has his own dog team. Small town? Ok, my LTC is also the lieutenant on the ambulence squad, a rotary member, and volunteers at the Junior ROTC. Another tidbit on the local culture .. you go to a village of say ... 100-200 and everyone is related. Does that stop love in the winter ... hardly. Last week I tried Muk-Tuk (I don't know how to spell it) ... whale blubber. The snow drifts against my house are about 4-10' high depending on wind and I plug in my car every night so it will not be damaged. Welcome to the last frontier on the top of the world.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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Very cool.
I mean it. ;-)
I don't mind if you join in the conversation, but 'let's not be hasty now'.;-)
No problem, I am trying to remain to the topic and non-offensive. You always do a good job of that, so have at it.
The Biscuit Queen
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I'll post there sometime today. I will be tactful and bring a military perspective and won't let on that I know you so that you can be judged by your own words, she won't feel ganged up on (although in honesty that's what were kinda doin'), and maybe we can give this possibly well meaning feminist a heads up that the PC salad days are over.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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I appreciate the heads up, but what I am posting is above board and solely my opinion. I DO wish there was an EDIT function on this board, but not for this subject. I just wish the format would be changed (with like 2 weeks notice to copy and past the threads as I use them as an information resource for facts) to something like the MND or SYG. There you can edit, PM, bold w/out the craziness etc etc. I wish this board was of that format. That being said, I don't hide what I do. I have, regrettably, learned that my posts are "forever" and that some of my earlier posts can not be altered. I was finally free of the PC silence as to my personal pain of being an accussed scum and I was so happy to be able to openly discuss my issues. In retrospect I realize that some of my previous posts were crude in writing style, language, and could reflect poorly on the MRA movement. For my part, the blame is mine. But I was ignorant of posting, and learned the hard way after some MSers took some of my posts out of context and [cut & pasted] things I said in anger. But, all that being said, and getting back to the point: I don't mind if this woman who wrote an article sees that men are less than happy that MEN who died are being discounted while women who did NOT die are being celebrated. Celebrating the women who aided and performed their duty is wonderful, but not while being blind to heroes answering a call. I'll post my reply to that board shortly. I think everyone here will see I did the 9/11 heroes, and this board, proud.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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I would have to echo MS Biscuit Queen. I am a military member and I have seen first hand the "innocent" rewriting of history into HERstory. First I must state a basic premise. Anyone, be they black, white, Jew, Gentile, male or female who stood their ground and administered aid WAS a hero. Everyone has a job to do, each must play their part, but the characterization of half-truths as celebratory of women is an injustice to those same heroes who perished.
The MEN who ran into those sky scrapers were genuine heroes. And anyone trying to glad hand their courage or ride the coat tails of their deaths is doing them an injustice. I recently read a book: "Last Man Down" co-written by a NYFD Battalion chief. He did not have an agenda. Gender never entered into his story. What did enter his story, in very down to earth language was an uncompromising courage that never wavered. Were they scared? It was described in detail. Did they hesitate? Not for a moment. The men who died were his friends and he made sure that when everyone who died was mentioned in the story he added personal attributes to personalize them. Why do I mention all this? Where is the honor of pretending to honor women by ignoring the WHOLE PICTURE. It's more revisionism in polite text.
Going slightly off topic, but to make a point, I bring you a story that the mainstream press selectively, with clear gender bias, made negligible mention of. Ever hear of PFC Patrick Miller? He was the real hero of the Jessica Lynch affair. Name ring a bell? Don't think I am browbeating you, most Americans never heard of him either. A short version of events would go like this: PFC Miller and the 507th were ambushed after taking a wrong turn. His truck disabled and his combat buddy killed PFC Miller jumped from the truck to take cover. While on the ground, with bullets flying overhead PFC Miller saw a mortar pit with 8-9 Iraqi soldiers who were preparing a mortar to fire on his unit. PFC Miller got up and with complete disregard for his own life charged the mortar pit. His weapon was jamming due to sand, so each round had to be fed into the recieving well of the weapon by PFC Miller by striking the Forward Assit mechanism on his weapon. He was firing single shots, ramming one home, firing and advancing on the Iraqis. Bullets and RPG rounds were targeted on PFC Miller who was alone on his assault. If he didn't stop the mortar from firing people in his unit would die. One by one he dropped the Iraqis as he charged the mortar pit. Alone, with a malfunctioning weapon, only concerned with stopping the mortar from killing his fellow soldiers PFC Miller advanced. The mortar couldn't have hit him, he was too close. He could have stayed behind cover, others did. But heroes don't do that. All the Iraqi soldiers were either killed or fled under this unrelenting one man assault. PFC Miller took control of the mortar pit, giving his fellow soldiers time to treat the wounded (LYNCH and others) and to retreat. After a time PFC Miller ran out of ammo and was surrounded. He was captured and taken prisoner. For his heroism and for further actions taken while as a POW (more to this story) PFC Miller was awarded the Silver Star. Why is there such an emphasis in FINDING women who are heroes but ignoring the men who were. Celebrating one does not diminish the other. But giving lip service to the active heroes while celebrating a certain group to serve a political agenda is less than honest, it dishonors those who gave all they had.
So, where is my point in all this? My point is that we celebrate all heroes. We don't do a selective revisionism. The question was asked about the suffering of those left behind. Wives and children mourned. So did FATHERS and mothers. So did BROTHERS and sisters. It reminds me of Hilary Clintons statement: "Women and children are the primary victims of war". How so? Because their men are dead. Just write those disposable heroes off? And concentrate on selected victims? No, in our history we don't have a separate history to celebrate the nurses at Pearl Harbor. September 11th was our generation's Pearl Harbor. It must be said that for all the blatantly sexist PC stereotyping of MEN not living up to their "responsibilites", or other demonizing of this particular demographic group that men answered the call. There were heroes that day, of all demographics. Some were treating the wounded, some directed traffic, and some went into a set of towers never to return. Were any other group to be so ignored, be they black, hispanic, women or Jews we would cry foul at the selective nature of the celebration. But men today seem to be expected to do our duty, even unto death, only to be brushed aside later as a footnote. Is that what you were attempting to celebrate?
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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Thomas did you read it?
You should consider chiming in with your ideas. That's up to you. But I enjoyed it and I took the time to really write something that would stand up. Go for it.
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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Excellent post! I notice she is silent for the moment. Maybe hoping we will go away. ;-)TBQ
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Jen, Did she respond quickly before?
I mean, sometimes (totally dependant on site and topic) it's DAYS before there is a response ... on other sites it's 20 minutes.
Oh, Hey, want your opinion on something. I wrote Lorianne something and it's a bit long. Could you, when you get time, take the time to read what I wrote? Plz plz oh great and intelligent and beautiful Italian Uber woman?
I Know you read most of what I wrote but I am posting the last 3 for continuity:
/comments.pl?sid=04/01/ 20/2110248&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread& pid=153#155
/comments.pl?sid=04/01/ 20/2110248&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread& pid=158#159
And this was my endpiece and I got pretty personal (not nasty, but personal)
/comments.pl?sid=04/01/ 20/2110248&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread& pid=159#166
I am HONESTLY hoping it impacts into her head. I don't think it will "right away" as I was about as subtle as a brick and challenged her whole life direction. I am truly hoping she responds, but either way: I'm keeping a link for this HUGE thread for references for any future similar threads or topics. Oooorrrrr if she tries to say "X" one day and "Y" another.
/comments.pl?sid=04/01/ 20/2110248&threshold=-1&commentsort=0&mode=thread& pid=159#166
I really respect your opinion and would like your input. I asked the same questions of Gonzo, but he's not wanting to deal with Lorianne (I like a challenge - Me = pitbull)
Thanks Jen sweetie ... I owe you one (and you CAN collect - fairs fair)
Steven
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
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Onto Lorainne~You made a LOT of excellent points. The only place I think things went astray is assuming she or any of her friends were like that. Even if they were, she can deny it. I find it is never a good idea(life lesson here from dogs and kids) to put forth a question when you only want one answer. I don't ask my kids "Did you lie about hitting your brother?" or "Do you think it was wrong to hit your brother" Because A ~I know you did it you little $hit, I see the handprint and B ~I know it WAS wrong, I don't care if he took the lego you were using.
When you told her most likely she had done this you asked an open question to which she wedged and started spewing.
However, I followed through the whole thread, and I am so impressed. It was like watching a Border Collie round up sheep. At first it was loosly controlled, but with concise and practiced actions the sheep are all tightly corraled. Your last post was incredable. You wrapped her up nice and neat. The real beauty is that you did so in a way that put the onus on her, no matter what she says she will doubt if it is her actually saying it. I think that if anything will get to her, that post will. I added on, not that it needed any, but just from a former feminist angle, supporting what you wrote.
You are really growing as a writer, Stephen, you should be as proud of yourslf as we are, and I am not just saying that because of all the uber flattery, either ;-)
The Biscuit Queen
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"I am HONESTLY hoping it impacts into her head."
Steven,
Well over a year ago, maybe even two, I embarked on a similar experiment with the durable Miss L. I didn't have hopes really, I was curious if anything could make a dent in her conciousness.
So, over the course of several months I tried various approaches to her (and, in the process, convinced Gonzo that I was soft in the head. :-)
I learned that it is not possible. It is possible, though, to reduce her to stammering, frustrated, impotent rage and lame denials. That was fun!
She's become a lot more disciplined since then, so I'm not sure it will work a second time, but good luck, you'll definitely learn a lot.
Larry
The source of all power is the ability to say "No."
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday January 27, @03:32PM EST (#16)
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Nice work Jen... Thanks for posting the link.
-hobbes
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I just looked at a list of all the NYC firefighters killed on 911 and they were all men. I saw two names which may have been female, but the rest were obvious male names. I have no problem with putting up a site about women who did heroic things, if the intent is to simply pay tribute to those women. Your web site, however, comes across as making a political statment that the exclusion of women was a purposeful action, and then tried to make the women's contribution far more than it was.
Well over 95% of the service people were men, including those who lived and your web page tried to make light of that by pulling out people who "may have" done something, such as someone on the plane saying "I have to go" on a cell phone. I am sorry, but someone on a plane ending a converstion cannot be held up to a firefighter rushing into a collapsing building knowing most likely he was going to die. Those firemen were safe on the ground, yet chose to risk their lives in the hopes of saving others, and we know this as fact.
I think, and this is my opinion, that women, especially feminist women, have a hard time with 911 because men rose up and paid the ultimate price for doing their jobs. Men make up 95% of workforce deaths over all in the US (an much of that 5% were unrelated homocides which were not work related), and feminists who cry for equal opportunity conveniently don't strive for equality in this area. When something this monumental happens it reminds us all how important our men are in our everyday life.
The US media is very liberal, and even our republicans have swayed towards the feminist lines. Our firefighters, thank God, are not. They show up for work every day and do their jobs without whining how unfair their lives are or how little attention they normally get. Glass ceiling? These men who hold the most dangerous jobs have little room for advancement, but they do the job anyways.
I guess my main problem is that while I have fully stated that this is all my opinion, your web site was put forward as the whole truth. This is very misleading. If one is going to put forward personal, political opinion, one should say so up front. By placing your opinion on a history web site with no discaimers you are saying your opinion is the truth, which it is not. It is subjective, just as my own opinion.
And to answer your question with one of my own, how do you think those many men's families feel when you go on about "what about the women?" as if their father's and husband's suffering and death were less important because they are only disposable men. Just because women rarely die in the line of duty does not mean their deaths are somehow more important.
The Biscuit Queen
Dave K - A Radical Moderate
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Ok Jen... I think it's time you got your OWN MANN account. :P
Good rebuttal BTW... probably the post she deleted... can't hack the truth.
Dave K - A Radical Moderate
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Thank you, and as you can see I have my own, I was simply too lazy to get out of your account;-)
The Biscuit Queen
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Here's the list of FireMEN and Police officers that were killed on 9/11. There is one woman that I can find, a police officer. I don not wish to diminish her sacrifice any more or less than that given by the many men... so I'll not use their names in a gender debate, but I find it despicable that the site you mentioned WOULD attempt to start such a debate.
Agnello Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Ahearn Brian Lieutenant FDNY
Allen Richard Firefighter FDNY
Allen Eric Firefighter FDNY
Amato James Captain FDNY
Anaya Jr. Calixto Firefighter FDNY
Angelini Jr. Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Angelini Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Apostol Jr. Faustino Firefighter FDNY
Arce David Firefighter FDNY
Arena Louis Firefighter FDNY
Asaro Carl Firefighter FDNY
Atlas Gregg Lieutenant FDNY
Atwood Gerald Firefighter FDNY
Baptiste Gerard Firefighter FDNY
Barbara Gerard Assistant Chief FDNY
Barnes Matthew Firefighter FDNY
Barry Arthur Firefighter FDNY
Bates Steven Lieutenant FDNY
Bedigian Carl Firefighter FDNY
Belson Stephen Firefighter FDNY
Bergin John Firefighter FDNY
Beyer Paul Firefighter FDNY
Bielfeld Peter Firefighter FDNY
Bilcher Brian Firefighter FDNY
Bini Carl Firefighter FDNY
Blackwell Christopher Firefighter FDNY
Bocchino Michael Firefighter FDNY
Bonomo Frank Firefighter FDNY
Box Gary Firefighter FDNY
Boyle Michael Firefighter FDNY
Bracken Kevin Firefighter FDNY
Brennan Michael Firefighter FDNY
Brennan Peter Firefighter FDNY
Brethel Daniel Captain FDNY
Brown Patrick Captain FDNY
Brunn Andrew Firefighter FDNY
Brunton Vincent Captain FDNY
Bucca Ronald FM FDNY
Buck Greg Firefighter FDNY
Burke Jr. William Captain FDNY
Burns Donald Assistant Chief FDNY
Burnside John Firefighter FDNY
Butler Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Byrne Patrick Firefighter FDNY
Cain George Firefighter FDNY
Calabro Salvatore Firefighter FDNY
Callahan Frank Captain FDNY
Cammarata Michael Firefighter FDNY
Cannizzaro Brian Firefighter FDNY
Carey Dennis Firefighter FDNY
Carlo Michael Firefighter FDNY
Carroll Michael Firefighter FDNY
Carroll Peter Firefighter FDNY
Casoria Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Cawley Michael Firefighter FDNY
Cherry Vernon Firefighter FDNY
Chiofalo Nicholas Firefighter FDNY
Chipura John Firefighter FDNY
Clarke Michael Firefighter FDNY
Coakley Steven Firefighter FDNY
Coleman Tarel Firefighter FDNY
Collins John Firefighter FDNY
Cordice Robert Firefighter FDNY
Correa Ruben Firefighter FDNY
Corrigan James Captain FDNY
Coughlin John Other NYPD
Coyle James Firefighter FDNY
Crawford Robert Firefighter FDNY
Crisci John Lieutenant FDNY
Cross Dennis Battalion Chief FDNY
Cullen 3rd Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Curatolo Robert Firefighter FDNY
Curtin Michael NYPD
D'Auria Michael Firefighter FDNY
Dallara John NYPD
Danz Vincent NYPD
Datri Edward Lieutenant FDNY
Davidson Scott Firefighter FDNY
Day Edward Firefighter FDNY
DeRubbio David Firefighter FDNY
Deangelis Thomas Battalion Chief FDNY
Delvalle Manuel Firefighter FDNY
Demeo Martin Firefighter FDNY
Desperito Andrew Lieutenant FDNY
Devlin Dennis Battalion Chief FDNY
Dewan Gerard Firefighter FDNY
Dipasquale George Firefighter FDNY
Dominguez Jerome NYPD
Donnelly Kevin Lieutenant FDNY
Dowdell Kevin Lieutenant FDNY
Downey Raymond Battalion Chief FDNY
Driscoll Stephen NYPD
Duffy Gerard Firefighter FDNY
Egan Martin Captain FDNY
Elferis Michael Firefighter FDNY
Ellis Mark NYPD
Esposito Francis Firefighter FDNY
Esposito Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Evans Robert Firefighter FDNY
Fanning John Battalion Chief FDNY
Farino Thomas Battalion Chief FDNY
Farrell Terrence Firefighter FDNY
Farrelly Joseph Captain FDNY
Fazio Robert NYPD
Feehan William First Deputy Commissioner FDNY
Fehling Lee Firefighter FDNY
Feinberg Alan Firefighter FDNY
Fiore Michael Firefighter FDNY
Fischer John Lieutenant FDNY
Fletcher Andre Firefighter FDNY
Florio John Firefighter FDNY
Fodor Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Foley Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Fontana David Firefighter FDNY
Foti Robert Firefighter FDNY
Fredericks Andrew Firefighter FDNY
Freund Peter Lieutenant FDNY
Gambino Jr. Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Ganci Jr. Peter Chief of Department FDNY
Garbarini Charles Lieutenant FDNY
Gardner Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Garvey Matthew Firefighter FDNY
Gary Bruce Firefighter FDNY
Geidel Gary Firefighter FDNY
Geraghty Edward Battalion Chief FDNY
Germain Denis Firefighter FDNY
Giammona Vincent Lieutenant FDNY
Giberson James Firefighter FDNY
Gies Ronnie Lieutenant FDNY
Gill Paul Firefighter FDNY
Gillis Rodney NYPD
Ginley John Lieutenant FDNY
Giordano Jeffrey Firefighter FDNY
Giordano John Firefighter FDNY
Glascoe Keith Firefighter FDNY
Gray James Firefighter FDNY
Grzelak Joseph Battalion Chief FDNY
Guadalupe Jose Firefighter FDNY
Guja Geoffrey Lieutenant FDNY
Gullickson Joseph Lieutenant FDNY
Halderman David Firefighter FDNY
Halloran Vincent Lieutenant FDNY
Hamilton Robert Firefighter FDNY
Hanley Sean Firefighter FDNY
Hannafin Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Hannon Dana Firefighter FDNY
Harlin Daniel Firefighter FDNY
Harrell Harvey Lieutenant FDNY
Harrell Stephen Lieutenant FDNY
Haskell Jr. Thomas Captain FDNY
Haskell Timothy Firefighter FDNY
Hatton Terence Captain FDNY
Haub Michael Firefighter FDNY
Hayes Philip Firefighter FDNY
Healey Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Heffernan John Firefighter FDNY
Henderson Ronnie Firefighter FDNY
Henry Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Henry William Firefighter FDNY
Hetzel Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Hickey Brian Captain FDNY
Higgins Timothy Lieutenant FDNY
Hohmann Jonathan Firefighter FDNY
Holohan Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Hunter Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Hynes Walter Captain FDNY
Ielpi Jonathan Firefighter FDNY
Ill Jr. Frederick Captain FDNY
Johnston William Firefighter FDNY
Jordan Andrew Firefighter FDNY
Joseph Karl Firefighter FDNY
Jovic Anthony Lieutenant FDNY
Juarbe Jr. Angel Firefighter FDNY
Judge Mychal Chaplain FDNY
Kane Vincent Firefighter FDNY
Kasper Charles Battalion Chief FDNY
Keating Paul Firefighter FDNY
Kelly Jr. Richard Firefighter FDNY
Kelly Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Kelly Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Kennedy Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Kerwin Ronald Lieutenant FDNY
Kiefer Michael Firefighter FDNY
King Jr. Robert Firefighter FDNY
Kloepfer Ronald NYPD
Kopytko Scott Firefighter FDNY
Krukowski William Firefighter FDNY
Kumpel Kenneth Firefighter FDNY
Kuveikis Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Laforge David Firefighter FDNY
Lake William Firefighter FDNY
Lane Robert Firefighter FDNY
Langone Thomas NYPD
Langone Peter Firefighter FDNY
Larsen Scott Firefighter FDNY
Leahy James NYPD
Leavey Joseph Lieutenant FDNY
Leavy Neil Firefighter FDNY
Libretti Daniel Firefighter FDNY
Lillo Carlos Paramedic FDNY
Linnane Robert Firefighter FDNY
Lynch Michael Firefighter FDNY
Lynch Michael Firefighter FDNY
Lyons Michael Firefighter FDNY
Lyons Patrick Firefighter FDNY
Maffeo Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Mahoney William Firefighter FDNY
Maloney Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Marchbanks Jr. Joseph Battalion Chief FDNY
Margiotta Charles Lieutenant FDNY
Marino Kenneth Firefighter FDNY
Marshall John Firefighter FDNY
Martin Peter Lieutenant FDNY
Martini Paul Lieutenant FDNY
Mascali Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Maynard Keithroy Firefighter FDNY
McAleese Brian Firefighter FDNY
McAvoy John Firefighter FDNY
McCann Thomas Firefighter FDNY
McDonnell Brian NYPD
McGinn William Lieutenant FDNY
McGovern William Battalion Chief FDNY
McHugh Dennis Firefighter FDNY
McMahon Robert Firefighter FDNY
McPadden Robert Firefighter FDNY
McShane Terence Firefighter FDNY
McSweeney Timothy Firefighter FDNY
McWilliams Martin Firefighter FDNY
Meisenheimer Raymond Firefighter FDNY
Mendez Charles Firefighter FDNY
Mercado Steve Firefighter FDNY
Miller Douglas Firefighter FDNY
Miller Jr. Henry Firefighter FDNY
Minara Robert Firefighter FDNY
Mingione Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Mitchell Paul Lieutenant FDNY
Modafferi Louis Battalion Chief FDNY
Mojica Dennis Lieutenant FDNY
Mojica Manuel Firefighter FDNY
Molinaro Carl Firefighter FDNY
Montesi Michael Firefighter FDNY
Moody Thomas Captain FDNY
Moran John Battalion Chief FDNY
Morello Vincent Firefighter FDNY
Mozzillo Christopher Firefighter FDNY
Muldowney Jr. Richard Firefighter FDNY
Mullan Michael Firefighter FDNY
Mulligan Dennis Firefighter FDNY
Murphy Raymond Lieutenant FDNY
Nagel Robert Lieutenant FDNY
Napolitano John Lieutenant FDNY
Nelson Peter Firefighter FDNY
Nevins Gerard Firefighter FDNY
O'Berg Dennis Firefighter FDNY
O'Callaghan Daniel Lieutenant FDNY
O'Keefe William Captain FDNY
O'Keefe Patrick Firefighter FDNY
O'Rourke Kevin Firefighter FDNY
Oelschlager Douglas Firefighter FDNY
Ogren Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Ohagan Thomas Lieutenant FDNY
Oitice Samuel Firefighter FDNY
Olsen Eric Firefighter FDNY
Olsen Jeffrey Firefighter FDNY
Olson Steven Firefighter FDNY
Otten Michael Firefighter FDNY
Palazzo Jeffrey Firefighter FDNY
Palmer Orio Battalion Chief FDNY
Palombo Frank Firefighter FDNY
Pansini Paul Firefighter FDNY
Paolillo John Battalion Chief FDNY
Pappageorge James Firefighter FDNY
Parro Robert Firefighter FDNY
Pearlman Richard Paramedic Hospital EMS
Pearsall Durrell Firefighter FDNY
Perry John NYPD
Perry Glenn Lieutenant FDNY
Petti Philip Lieutenant FDNY
Pettit Glenn NYPD
Pfeifer Kevin Lieutenant FDNY
Phelan Kenneth Lieutenant FDNY
Pickford Christopher Firefighter FDNY
Powell Shawn Firefighter FDNY
Princiotta Vincent Firefighter FDNY
Prior Kevin Firefighter FDNY
Prunty Richard Battalion Chief FDNY
Quappe Lincoln Firefighter FDNY
Quilty Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Quinn Ricardo Paramedic FDNY
Ragaglia Leonard Firefighter FDNY
Ragusa Michael Firefighter FDNY
Rall Edward Firefighter FDNY
Rand Adam Firefighter FDNY
Regan Donald Firefighter FDNY
Regan Robert Lieutenant FDNY
Regenhard Christian Firefighter FDNY
Reilly Kevin Firefighter FDNY
Richard Vernon Lieutenant FDNY
Richards Claude NYPD
Riches James Firefighter FDNY
Rivelli Jr. Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Roberts Michael Firefighter FDNY
Roberts Michael Firefighter FDNY
Rodriguez Anthony Firefighter FDNY
Rogan Matthew Firefighter FDNY
Roma Keith Fire Patrol
Rossomando Nicholas Firefighter FDNY
Roy Timothy NYPD
Ruback Paul Firefighter FDNY
Russell Stephen Firefighter FDNY
Russo Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Ryan Matthew Battalion Chief FDNY
Sabella Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Santora Christopher Firefighter FDNY
Santore John Firefighter FDNY
Santoro Mario Hospital EMS
Saucedo Gregory Firefighter FDNY
Scauso Dennis Firefighter FDNY
Schardt John Firefighter FDNY
Scheffold Fred Battalion Chief FDNY
Schoales Thomas Firefighter FDNY
Schrang Gerard Firefighter FDNY
Schwartz Mark Other Hospital EMS
Sikorsky Gregory Firefighter FDNY
Siller Stephen Firefighter FDNY
Smagala Jr. Stanley Firefighter FDNY
Smith Moira NYPD
Smith Jr. Leon Firefighter FDNY
Smith Kevin Firefighter FDNY
Spear Jr. Robert Firefighter FDNY
Spor Joseph Firefighter FDNY
Stack Lawrence Battalion Chief FDNY
Stackpole Timothy Captain FDNY
Stajk Gregory Firefighter FDNY
Stark Jeffrey Firefighter FDNY
Suarez Ramon NYPD
Suarez Benjamin Firefighter FDNY
Suhr Daniel Firefighter FDNY
Sullins David Paramedic Hospital EMS
Sullivan Christopher Lieutenant FDNY
Sweeney Brian Firefighter FDNY
Tallon Sean Firefighter FDNY
Talty Paul NYPD
Tarasiewicz Allan Firefighter FDNY
Tegtmeier Paul Firefighter FDNY
Tierney John Firefighter FDNY
Tipping II John Firefighter FDNY
Tirado Jr. Hector Firefighter FDNY
Valentin Santos NYPD
VanHine Richard Firefighter FDNY
Vega Peter Firefighter FDNY
Veling Lawrence Firefighter FDNY
Vigiano Joseph NYPD
Vigiano II John Firefighter FDNY
Villanueva Sergio Firefighter FDNY
Virgilio Lawrence Firefighter FDNY
Wallace Robert Lieutenant FDNY
Walz Jeffrey Firefighter FDNY
Warchola Michael Lieutenant FDNY
Waters Patrick Captain FDNY
Watson Kenneth Firefighter FDNY
Weaver Walter NYPD
Weinberg Michael Firefighter FDNY
Weiss David Firefighter FDNY
Welty Timothy Firefighter FDNY
Whelan Eugene Firefighter FDNY
White Edward Firefighter FDNY
Whitford Mark Firefighter FDNY
Wilkinson Glenn Lieutenant FDNY
Williamson John Battalion Chief FDNY
Wooley David Captain FDNY
Wren William Firefighter FDNY
York Raymond Firefighter FDNY
Dave K - A Radical Moderate
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by Anonymous User on Wednesday January 28, @10:40PM EST (#33)
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You should probably have asked me that back in the 80's, when I CARED...!
Thundercloud.
"Hoka hey!"
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While married and currently childless, I rather like the idea of my wife staying at home taking care of the kids, and I'm actually grateful that she feels the same way. I prefer that to leaving the caring of the child to a 3rd party. It's the way I grew up.
That said, I'm sure that the reality will impose vast amounts of unexpected difficulties on both of us. What are other's experiences on either side of this style of child-rearing?
Otherwise, I have to agree in spirit with the poster who said he stopped caring what women wanted in the 80's!
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I am a stay at home mom. At first I worked child care, bringing in children here, then going to their homes when the mess proved too much for Dave. Our home functions best with me not really working. I teach dog sports twice a week at night, and now homeschool my older son.
Here are some main things to keep in mind. You both are working. The man works 8 hours, 5 days (typically) and then has the rest off. The woman works about the same hours, but all spread out. There are advantages AND disadvantages to both.
To the man, I would say remember to notice and COMMENT on jobs well done. Never assume she just knows. One major drawback to SAH moms is that they have no boss, paycheck or peer review to tell them they are doing well at work. That becomes your job. Remember she WILL need down time, and give it to her, in fact insist on it even if she thinks she doesn't need it. Once a week make sure she goes out for an hour or so by herself. The Y, a walk, take a class at school, she should do something as an adult for herself. The best forplay is a man doing the dishes while having intelligent conversation with the woman, if you can do this while she is in the tub, all the better;-).
To her, I would say he has been at work all day. It is just that, work, so know he is tired and worn out when he comes home. Do not jump on him complaining the minute he walks in the door. Give him half an hour to unwind before any negativity. Have a clean house and dinner ready when he comes home. Appreciate and tell him that you do, for supporting the family so you have the privalege to stay home. Don't assume he knows. Keep the kids out of his hair for a bit. If you want him to spend time with the kids, then start something fun and invite him to join you. Nagging will NOT work. If you have something that needs to be done by him, ASK him, then give him a time frame in which you would like it done. Be ready to compromise. Know that your way is not the right way. It is your way. If you want the job done your way, do it yourself. The best forplay for a guy is appreciation. Give a man true respect and he will do anything for you.
Talk to each other and have a good babysitter. Pay her really well. Have munchies in the house.
The Biscuit Queen
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