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What Wolf misses completely is Women's Porn; romance novels. Full of images of perfect men, handling relationships perfectly ( after initial difficulties necessary for the plot).
If Men's Porn alienates men from real women, romance novels alienate women from real men.
Nevertheless, the present problems of shallow realtionships and marriage avoidance go deeper than anything we can blame on either gender -- or on either kind of porn merchant.
What is certain is that men and women have to work this out together.
Scapegoats are the worst possible substitute for logic.
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by Anonymous User on Saturday January 03, @12:53PM EST (#9)
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Frankly, men need to worry less about mom and grandma's romance novels, and more about women's magazines. With Cosmo telling women how to please us, they never bother to actually communicate with us to find out what we like, and asking so of them is to make us sound inexperienced and naive. Imagine that, a woman actually telling us exactly what she wants. . .
The problem here, and in most situations between the genders, is communication. Granted, many boys and young men are becoming obsessed with the more gratuitous sexual acts because of their frequent depiction in internet porn, but if we could bring these desires to women without worrying that they're going to slap us with sexual harassment, or even worse, rape charges then we're finally sexually liberated.
In short, Porn has done little more than add to the plethora of sexual activities for men to request and women to deny, only to punish the man for asking.
StripeyNU
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So often feminists will taunt men when depriving men of control, implying that for men to have power or control is somehow evil, tainted and unnatural. But when womens control over men starts to slip, they whine like my motorcycle pushed to its 20000 rpm redline.
Power and control is the subject of this womans article. Women are losing it and she cannot comprehend that the reason it is being lost is because is has been abused.
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When I went to read the referenced article by Naomi Wolf, what did I find? An ad on the page from Neiman Marcus, titled "Beauty at the Beach," showing a semi-anorexic, tanned young model in a very brief "bathing outfit," striding forward purposefully with the hard, challenging stare that appears to be the sine qua non of female "sexuality" nowadays.
Well, Naomi, this is the world you and your friends have made. For over 150 years, you've insisted that a cultural order without restraints is your heart's greatest desire, and you've used every power at Woman's command to get it.
"I am not advocating a return to the days of hiding female sexuality...." Well, then, Naomi, just what are you advocating? You're in charge, you're the "leader," you can have whatever you want.
Send me a postcard when you figure it out.
On second thought, don't bother.
BTW, I was just rereading a couple of Camille Paglia interviews:
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PLAYBOY: How about Naomi Wolf?
PAGLIA: Daddy's little girl? Her Rolodex feminism?
PLAYBOY: Rolodex feminism?
PAGLIA: She always says to [pantomiming] get a Rolodex and keep the names of all the women we know and we'll be able to call them up and get a job and we'll have women power. [Cringing] She is so naive. I can't stand her. She's hopeless.
PLAYBOY: Don't you acknowledge the existence of what Wolf describes in her book The Beauty Myth: a culture manipulated by Madison Avenue that trains women to associate their self-worth with their looks?
PAGLIA: That's hilarious. Wolf says we shouldn't succumb to an this bullshit, but she spends four hours having makeup applied before her TV appearances and--I've heard--can't pass a window without looking at herself. I mean, look at her hair! It is the only thing that gave her cachet when she came onto the scene. Her book was one of many tired feminist books. What distinguished her was her hair; she owes everything to that hair. But then she cut it off. She's trying to find a more serious persona. She's looking for a hairstyle. It's horrible. It's embarrassing.
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Reason: ...let me ask you about ... Naomi Wolf [author of The Beauty Myth and Fire with Fire] ... who insists on telling the world in the pages of The New Republic the details of her sex life and who doesn't have a regular job.
Paglia: ... one of my major criticisms of Naomi is that she has drifted from any kind of ethnic affiliation. I have constantly said this about her, Susan Faludi, or Gloria Steinem: that these women are not identifiably anything. Feminism has become their entire metaphysical, religious, and cultural world view. ... Meanwhile--in fact, I couldn't believe Playboy put this in--they cut my whole philosophy of feminism to leave space for my theories about Naomi Wolf's hair! I'm saying that without her hair she would never have gotten attention at all. There were a million books like that, The Beauty Myth--a lot of books. It was only her hair that gave her cachet. People remembered her hair, and the male reporters thought she was hot, and she spent a lot of time sticking her boobs in people's face. She's done this seductive number on men for her entire career. Her primary style of approach is seduction.
Her thinking is completely incoherent ... whatever the prevailing wind is, Naomi Wolf will go with it. So she was pushing P.C. feminism, and all of a sudden it turned out, "Gee, the Paglia brand of anti-P.C. feminism is more popular. I think I'll go in that direction now!" So then her next book completely reverses the last book. No one notices, because her readers are all nincompoops--they don't notice anything.
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Paglia: "Her thinking is completely incoherent ... whatever the prevailing wind is, Naomi Wolf will go with it."
The problem is - so will a huge number of other women.
I really want to encourage people not to underestimate how much power this woman has - she is far more of a household word than Paglia.
As a long time observer of this cultural train wreck in progress, I think men and women might have made it coming out of the 80s without this turning into a complete war if it were not for 2 women - Susan Faludi and Naomi Wolf.
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I read, some time ago, a book by Lionel Tiger called "The Decline of Males." In it, he references some documented side effects of the birth control pill: that apparently, women "smell" differently while on the pill and this actually has a subliminal effect on men. Because of this smell, a man knows, subconsiously that a woman is not fertile and he finds her substantially less desireable.
I don't know what the rate of usage of oral contraceptives is, but I suppose it could be significant enough that this would contribute to the phenomenon. (That is, if it is real.)
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by Anonymous User on Thursday January 01, @03:39PM EST (#7)
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"...birth control pill: that apparently, women "smell" differently while on the pill and this actually has a subliminal effect on men."
You make an interesting observaton, that I have not heard before, but it fits in very logically with what I have read previously.
Pheromones are a natural sex attractant that woman give off naturally. The same is true in the gender dynamics of many species besides Homo Sapiens. Do pheromones have a physiological and psychological effect on men? Absolutely, and men too have their own "chemicals" that women are desirous of, enjoy, and get off on (contrary to what some fem's. would like you to know). I've read that their is something in the sweat of males that turns women on, and that sperm has a "calming" (anti-anxiety) effect on females when taken vaginally. The truth is there is quite a dynamic chemical soup present in the sexual dynamics between males and females (contrary to what some fem's. would like you to know).
Ray
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by Anonymous User on Thursday January 01, @08:36PM EST (#8)
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Men in general are less interested in women because there are more women like Naomi Wolfe. Bluck!!!! The criminalization of male sexuality, the treatment of men as second-class subhumans, and the reduction of fathers to walking wallets may also have something to do with it.
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Didn't anyone notice how at the end of her article she lauds the Jewish/MiddleEastern custom of hiding all of women's 'assets'? How she thought it was wonderful that the husband only ever saw his wife's hair, and how beautiful it made her feel?
Where is this line of thinking when talking about Iraq and how all the women are 'forced' to go around veiled?
These women just change their mind like the breeze, don't they?
The Biscuit Queen
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