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What you don't know about Honor Killings
What you do know … is that honor killings are, by and large, committed by men. That they happen somewhere in countries you've never been, and that collectively feminists probably blame the men in America just as much as the men in Pakistan.
You also know that honor killings usually revolve around a woman's fidelity, such as: did the woman sleep with such and such guy before she was married, is she sleeping around on her husband with someone else's husband, did she resist the marriage proposal of a man, and so on.
What you don't know … is that the majority of honor killings are instigated by women. This is pointed out by Patricia Pearson her 1997 book on violent women, When She Was Bad. In it she references Ilsa M. Glaza Wahipa and Abu Ras’s article, "On aggression, human rights, and hegemonic discourse: The case of a murder for family honor in Israel,” which describes how it is women who actually instigate honor killings. Much like the rest of Pearson's book that describes women's covert tactics in violence, these women do their work behind closed doors. The motives are just like motives here: to extract revenge, to beat out a competitor, or gain respect.
Even if the alleged crimes were committed, it is the gossip network that instigates the process in which men are forced by culture to levy out. "So even though it's violence against women, it is violence against women by women," Pearson, When She Was Bad.
Even in America – where shows like Oprah Winfrey describe these issues – the blame is leveled against men as the sole proprietors of honor killings. From an article on Oprah.com giving a brief overview on their show on honor killings: “For women in some Middle Eastern countries, this is a constant fear. In these countries, men have the power of life or death over their female relatives. Thousands of women are killed because men believe they have brought shame to their family.” Men are described as the only ones who want to uphold this tradition of honor killings.
However, even during an Oprah show on honor killings, a short clip interviewing a Pakistani man described that these men do not always want to kill their wives, daughters, sisters or other females – that the traditions force them to carry these out or faced being killed as well. The man also described how many men just pick up and flee with the respective woman and their families. However, the abruptness in which that clip stopped and the brevity of it, makes me believe I saw that clip by editorial error.
Zainab Saldi of Women for Women International describes these situations also as all-male violators against all-female victims. From the same Oprah.com article, Saldi admits that, “[O]ther women in the family cooperate with the perpetrators. They know that if they try to defend a woman, their own morality will be questioned.” For women, she admits that they help kill only for fear of being morally condemned, but she does not offer the same leniency to men. Men, she implies by neglecting to mention their situation, must want to kill women just for the desire to kill. Obviously this woman knows the score, and is down playing just exactly what is going on here with women's involvement, namely because of her feminist views that often put women in the "women can do no wrong" category.
We can run around in circles playing the blame game, but tearing down these traditions is far too difficult. We shouldn’t waste our energy fighting each other. Clearly their battle is against men instead of objectively solving the problem of honor killings. The objective view would be to bring about the right of a victim to face their accuser. Ironically those are the exact rights that feminists are trying to destroy here at home. Another would be to clearly state that the crime does not fit the punishment. And again feminists are known for crying for harsher punishments than meet the crime here at home. So what exactly is going on?
I like to hypothesize that feminism is being used as a form of imperialism to invade foreign countries, which has a sole aim to tear down traditions and claim “Democratic Reform.” But just because an agency is called “Human Rights,” it doesn't necessarily point out which group of humans will have the rights when the smoke all clears.
Now for those men who do their honor killings out of pride and ego, like the women who instigate honor killings, I cannot defend them, nor do I want to. I want to tear down those traditions as much as anyone else does, but I want to tear it down for the right reasons not the wrong ones. I agree, feminism may be successful at tearing those traditions down; tearing down traditions is what feminism is good at. However, let’s not tear down traditions merely to resurrect other ones just as evil or worse. Like Christ, who set the example with his very life by stopping an honor killing, let's use solutions that use love and forgiveness as a staple, not oppression and victimhood as a divider.
Author's side note: I feel I should mention an email conversation with a Pakistani man. He verified many of my points, but though he never witnessed an honor killing, he tells me that it is likely either gender will instigate it. Petty rivalry, or even to gain inheritance from another sibling can be the reasons. My concern is of how feminists in America use this to demonize men in general where it is difficult for us here to verify the facts and reasons.
By Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch is an avid enthusiast of Self-Defence, with over 22 years of training.
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