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Forced Weddings? Really?
posted by Adam on Tuesday September 30, @01:48PM
from the Sounds-possible-I-suppose dept.
News Dittohd writes "Do you all believe this? After such a forced wedding, the groom has no option to void the marriage? Huh? Is this a joke by some prankster trying to see if she could get such an outlandish story printed?"

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Link doesn't work (Score:1)
by LSBeene on Tuesday September 30, @02:22PM EST (#1)
(User #1387 Info)
Link to Article not working ... we can't read it to comment on it.
Guerilla Gender Warfare is just Hate Speech in polite text
Re:Link doesn't work (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 30, @03:47PM EST (#2)
I've read it. It's horrifying and disgusting.

But the final sentence will push it over the top of the rage meter for those of us on this site.
Re:Link doesn't work (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 30, @04:01PM EST (#3)
I know! Whose side was this article on anyway? It talks about how men are being kidnapped and forced into marriage, but also tacks on that women are oppressed.

Basically, what's the point of this article? (It just doesn't seem to have any focus)
Re:Link doesn't work (Score:2)
by frank h on Wednesday October 01, @10:42AM EST (#11)
(User #141 Info)
Allow me to suggest that his article was submitted to the editor without the mitigating "blame the male" verbiage, and the editor insisted that it be added. After all, we cannot be seen as blaming women for anything, can we?
Re:Link doesn't work (Score:1)
by mcc99 on Tuesday September 30, @05:33PM EST (#4)
(User #907 Info)
Yep, and entirely predictable, too. Remember: men guilty even when proven innocent; women innocent even when proven guilty. Is it any surprise that any given author here in the western world will always end any article that discusses men being victimized with a blunt reminder of "how much worse" women have it?

Re:Link doesn't work (Score:1)
by Doctor Damage (scottg [fivefoursixseven] at yahoo dot com dot au) on Tuesday September 30, @06:47PM EST (#5)
(User #1252 Info)
I can't open the link either. Could someone reproduce the article or a valid link?
Re:Link doesn't work (Score:2)
by Dittohd on Tuesday September 30, @07:32PM EST (#7)
(User #1075 Info)
I retried the link and it's working fine from my computer. Here is the actual address:

http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/n ews/2003/09/27/wedd27.xml&sSheet=/news/2003/09/27/ ixworld.html/news/2003/09/27/wedd27.xml

Hope this helps.

Dittohd

Re:Link doesn't work (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 30, @10:16PM EST (#9)
For those having trouble using the link, here is the article:

Shotgun weddings with a sinister difference (Filed: 27/09/2003)

Increasing dowry demands in India have led to a wave of groom kidnaps, writes Rahul Bedi in New Delhi.

It is a big mistake to venture out at night if you are young, male and unmarried in India's Bihar state.

Subhash Kumar, a bank clerk in Patna, let his guard down and paid the price by being kidnapped.

Four days after being carried off by a gang of thugs, manacled to a bed, starved and severely beaten, Kumar found himself married to a girl he had never seen before.

His tears and offers to pay ransom led to beatings, at least until the nuptials were complete. To his horror, even the household's women joined in, wielding slippers and brooms whenever he begged to be freed.

During the marriage ceremony a rope was tied around Kumar's waist in case he disgraced the bride's family by trying to flee. But by then, the resistance had been beaten out of him.

In those dark hours, all he wanted was for the nightmare to end, even if it meant being married to a complete stranger. The next day a sullen Kumar took his wife home, vowing vengeance against his in-laws.

But, like thousands of similarly married Bihari grooms, he feared the kidnappers' vengeance. Unwilling to face more beatings he resigned himself to marriage. "After marriage, compliance [of the groom] is guaranteed by the kidnappers for an extra fee," said Mithelesh Singh, a political activist from near Patna.

This is marriage season in the eastern Indian state of Bihar, and it is a dangerous time for young men.

Bihari social workers say excessive dowry demands by grooms, particularly among the upwardly mobile Bhumiar agricultural class, has forced the parents of young women to hire men to organise such "shotgun alliances".

Bihar is among the most violent of India's 28 states, where politicians and landlords own private armies and the rule of law barely exists.

Officials in the state capital Patna said scores of bachelors were abducted each year in the state's Gaya, Darbangha and Purnea districts and, after being beaten senseless, are married according to Hindu rites, in a custom that has gained tacit social approval.

In northern states such as Punjab and Haryana, the marriage market has the opposite problem, a shortage of brides partly driven by parents hoping for male babies aborting female foetuses.

But in parts of Bihar eligible grooms remain on the run, conscious of the dowry they can demand if they remain free to select their bride.

Payment of large dowries - banned by law - is widespread in Bihar, where the bride's family usually compensate the groom's parents for the money spent on his education. She is expected to bring with her a wide range of consumer goods and presents and jewellery for her husband and family.

Dowry demands often continue well into the marriage. When the bride refuses or is simply unable to meet them she is brutally treated, at times even forced into an inflammable nylon sari, doused with paraffin and set on fire. Husbands often claim the victims caught fire while cooking.

In the early 1980s such deaths became so commonplace that anti-dowry activists forced the government to change the law. Today, any such death by burning within seven years of marriage is deemed unnatural and the husband and his parents are charged with murder.

More than 12,612 dowry deaths were recorded across India in 1998 and 1999, the largest number in Bihar and neighbouring Uttar Pradesh.

But anti-dowry activists and non-governmental organisations said the true number was much higher and estimate that a woman is burned to death every 10 minutes across India.

Activists in Bihar said the groom kidnapping system was well honed, with parents choosing a victim according to caste and community. A marriage fee is negotiated, depending on the prospective groom's status, and specialist bachelor kidnapping squads then move in.

Delivery by the "groom contractors", known to shadow their victims for days, even snatching them off buses and trains in daylight, is guaranteed within days. Also assured is a compliant, if somewhat bruised, groom.

Middle-class professionals are among the top targets. Government employees are the favourite, followed by doctors, businessmen and company executives.

"Eligible bachelors are so terrorised by these enforced nuptials that many rarely ever venture out alone during the marriage season," said Singh. Many even leave the state.

Ultimately, official apathy and Bihar's social mores, dominated exclusively by caste, leads to the victim and his parents compromising and accepting the bride as part of their family.

But she is rarely looked upon kindly, adding to her woes of being a woman in an inconsiderate, male-dominated society.

A fundamental thing.. (Score:2)
by frank h on Wednesday October 01, @08:18AM EST (#10)
(User #141 Info)
There's a fundamental thing we overlook whenever we discuss arranged marriages: that the groom is as much a victim of the arrangement as the bride. I have a relative who services import cars. Many of his customers are Hindi. Among them are a number of women who, when they come to the shop have SERIOUS condescending attitudes. One time, the behaviour of the wife was brought to the attention of the husband, and he proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes apologizing and explaining. His explanation? In his country, he does not get to choose his wife; his family chooses one for him. He was not so lucky as his brothers, each of whom married charming women and now have happy households. This guy is a well-known (locally) physician. And his wife is a serious shrew.

So, next time some femogogue (see, I like the word, too) starts to spout off about how bad life is for women in arranged marriages, remind them that the men have no choice either.
Hmmmmmm (Score:1)
by Lorianne on Tuesday September 30, @06:48PM EST (#6)
(User #349 Info)
This is kind of hard to believe, but then again in India, anything is possible.
Re:Hmmmmmm (Score:0)
by Anonymous User on Tuesday September 30, @09:42PM EST (#8)
What happens to men in feminazified Western countries is pretty incredible as well.
Excuse me? (Score:1)
by NoNicky on Wednesday October 01, @11:40PM EST (#12)
(User #1036 Info)
Did I actually read the end of that article correctly?

"But she is rarely looked upon kindly, adding to her woes of being a woman in an inconsiderate, male-dominated society."

Let's see if I got this right. He is kidnapped. He is beaten. He is maltreated. Yet she's the victim here? What kind of k rap is that?
NoNicky

Re:Excuse me? (Score:1)
by Uberganger on Thursday October 02, @06:14AM EST (#13)
(User #308 Info)
It's the usual kind of crap, NoNicky. Irrespective of what happens, the woman is always, always, always the hardest done to. It's an idea that forms the basis of the Primary Aggressor Rule, for instance - which means male victims of domestic violence are arrested because they are taller/heavier/wealthier that their female abuser, thus more 'in control of the situation', thus the 'primary agressor'. I know it sounds retarded, but it's the law in some U.S. states. I've seen the same attitude expressed by some supposedly pro-male writers who acknowledge that feminism has harmed men but go on to say that it has harmed women more. Well, you know what they say: you can take the girl out of Women's Studies, but you can't take Women's Studies out of the girl.
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