Divorce, Custody, and Visitation: Japanese Style

	posted by Thomas on Thursday July 17, @11:59AM from the Fatherhood dept.
	Men, who think they're going to get a fair deal by marrying foreign (especially Japanese) women, should read this. As fair warning, take note of the statement, "Even if children are taken away from a parent abroad who has legal custody and are brought here, Japan is a haven from international law."

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Helps explain.... (Score:1) by mcc99 on Thursday July 17, @04:44PM EST (#1) (User #907 Info) ... Japanese women's interest in marrying foreign men, esp. Americans! Get married, get kids, go back to Japan, file for international C/S, all works out great. Not saying that's what "they are all ready to do"; many US men are happily married to Japanese women and have been so for years. It's just always a card she has ready to play, that's all. Feel lucky, punk? Huh, do ya?

Re:Japanese Women's Motives (Score:2) by Dittohd on Thursday July 17, @05:31PM EST (#2) (User #1075 Info) From what I've seen of the internet personals, Japanese women looking for American husbands are miniscule compared to women of other countries like Russia, China, and the Philippines. There just aren't that many Japanese women looking that I can find. Here's just one example. It just seems to me that a smart American man could use these laws in Japan to his advantage. Many possibilities come to mind. In my opinion, if a Japanese woman can locate her ex and children in the U.S. and get child support ordered here, he's got sh-- for brains. I would much rather be in a situation where my wife was foreign and I had the flexibility of utilizing the laws of both countries than in the current situation in the U.S. when an American man divorces an American woman and the only solution left for the man seems to be to leave the country forever, with or without the children, or stay here and suck it up. I would much rather be in the situation of hiding in the U.S. from a Japanese wife in Japan than having to leave the U.S. and hide in unfamiliar territory. Dittohd

Re:Japanese Women's Motives (Score:1) by mcc99 on Friday July 18, @09:46AM EST (#3) (User #907 Info) Or just avoid marriage altogether.

Re:Avoiding Marriage (Score:2) by Dittohd on Friday July 18, @12:36PM EST (#4) (User #1075 Info) True, but that's only half the solution. Here in the U.S., you don't have to be married to get an exhorbitant court-ordered child support judgement against you. In fact, in many cases, you don't even have to be the father. Or even have had a relationship with the woman. And the "child support" amount doesn't have to parallel in any way actual child support expenses. It goes by the guy's income which should be almost irrevelant. It's better to have had the relationship with a woman from another country, in that other country. It's so much harder for a foreign woman to find you once you leave her country, if of course, you don't want the responsibility. If you do, of course, it's your choice. How many foreign women are going to muster the stamina and financial resources to track you down and haul you into court if you change your name and even move from time to time from country to country. And there must be a list of countries where she couldn't touch you even if she did find you. I wonder how many countries won't or don't force unwilling fathers to pay child support. And then how many countries where the guy would be out of reach of American women even if she did find you. Is there a list of these somewhere? Dittohd

Re:The Japanese Way (Score:2) by Dittohd on Saturday July 19, @05:05PM EST (#5) (User #1075 Info) I talked to my wife, who is Japanese, and she confirmed that the Japanese way is for the wife to get custody of the children and the man is expected to "disappear". She said that child support is usually a pittance (maybe $100 per month) but in most cases, the wife no longer wants the ex around and expects and gets no child support whatsoever from the ex-husband. While I strongly disagree with this system, I find that here in the U.S. where ex-wives expect the ex-husband to pay through the nose even while not being allowed to see the children in direct proportion to the amount of support he provides is unbearable. I consider this the same as spitting in the ex-husband's face while at the same time, picking his pocket every month. At least Japanese women are consistent in their beliefs and not ball-busting leeches like so many American women seem to be. During the upbringing of my son, my wife always pushed me to spend "alone" time with him (without her around) so that we would develop a strong bond. She knew how important I was to his well-being as a man. Dittohd

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