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The site (I think your url was not functional) seems to imply that DV is all boys and men's responsibility. You can email them at fund@fvpf.org .
Here's the note I wrote them:
"I applaud your work in stopping the terrible price that is paid for DV. This is important and critical work. I am however surprised that your web site seems to imply that DV is exclusively a male on female phenomenom. The research is clear (Archer's 2000 meta analysis in pysc bul) that men and women are about even in initial acts of violence in relationship and that even the injury rate is not too far apart with women receiving 62% of the injuries and men 38%. With numbers like these it seems unwise to focus exclusively on men and boys as perpetrators and and turn this into a gender issue. It seems very clear that DV is a human issue. I would be curious to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks for all you do.
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That is the problem isnt it. Because men do not call for help and try to solve things or internalize the problems there is no voice for them. Because women call on average 9-1 in dispute situations, no one will support them because men are not giving these people jobs. Thats how we have been raised, to stand there and take it. And now this organisation wants to continue with that. That we have to be the gentle lambs and take the abuse (that they say doesnt happen) and tell doctors we did it playing rugby. We can't call the cops, we can't tell the doctors, we can't tell our friends, we can't tell the media and we can't tell fund@fvpf.org we can't tell our parents, we can't tell our teachers, we can't tell our.......................... Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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by Anonymous User on Monday April 01, @02:26PM EST (#2)
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There is absolutely no call for this. At the very least, a warning should be posted. Luckily, my 4 year old daughter happened to be in the bathroom, instead of on my lap where she was a moment before. I'm glad I didn't have to explain this one to her.
Credendo Vides
(By believing, one sees)
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There is no excuse for posting GROSS pictures! I babysit my grand-daughter! What if she had been here? Why would you post somethign so gross?
What sort of Troll are you?
the Volksgaren Project: Intelligent Abuse Recovery, http://clix.to/support/, jaxom@amtelecom.net, 519-773-9644
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Quite frankly, I think the picture on that link is the clearest possible indication of the type of person we are fighting.
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Here is the response I received about my e-mail concerning this organization's one-sided and narrow minded view on domestic violence. They really don't seem to be too amicable to constructive criticism.
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments on our new campaign. We agree that all batterers are not men. All violence that is not committed in self-defense is wrong, regardless of the person who commits the violence. But research shows conclusively that in the vast majority of domestic violence assaults in which injuries occur, the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. Domestic violence is a costly and pervasive problem in our society today because too many men abuse and injure women, and too many children grow up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable. The FVPF's new prevention campaign is designed to convince men who are role models to their sons, nephews, friends, and neighbors to take time to teach boys how to treat girls and women. We see men as role models who can carry positive messages about domestic violence. That is why we designed this campaign to show the millions of responsible men how they can help prevent domestic abuse.
While we agree that domestic violence against men is a serious issue, especially against those in male-male relationships, we at the Fund have chosen to focus on the many women who experience violence in their relationships.
Thank you, again, for your comments. I will forward them to those who design our public service announcements as feedback.
Warm regards,
Marissa
Marissa Dagdagan
FAMILY VIOLENCE PREVENTION FUND
383 Rhode Island St. Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
T 415.252-8900 x42 | F 415.252.8991 | TTY 800.595.4TTY
marissa@endabuse.org
http://www.endabuse.org
-----Original Message--------------------------
Subject: Teaching Boys (Only) About Domestic Violence
Your current campaign about teaching boys early on how to avoid domestic
violence against females is in my opinion very one sided and unfair because
domestic violence is just as often committed by females as it is by males.
Your campaign's message seems to insinuate that it is only men who
instigate and carry out domestic violence. And to hold a young boy's sense
of being and self-worth as a male contingent to how he treats women is
gross in the extreme.
One of your suggestions on stopping violence against females is to discuss
presentations of violence against women in the media and discuss what you
have just seen with the young boy. To be frank, there are many more
presentations of violence against men perpetrated by women in the media
than the other way around. How about discussing the now common violent
stock scene were an aggressive female kicks a man in the groin? Or how
about the many asinine commercials were males are always portrayed as
incompetent bumbling idiots especially in the presence of or interacting
with females?
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that naively views female violence as
something that is "cute," just being "feisty" or automatically assumed to
be justified self-defense if perpetuated against a man. Ergo, male violence
is always wrong and has to be curtailed but female violence is not really a
problem or is a positive action to resist evil.
Promoting misandry, which you are doing with this one sided campaign,
either by insinuation or by direct intent is wrong and has to be stopped.
A means to start doing this is to focus on the long neglected "other half"
of domestic violence: women's violence in the home or in relationships.
Thanks for your time,
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Here's the letter I sent. It isn't nice, but I am a bit tired of hearing the same excuses over and over:
"But research shows conclusively that in the vast majority of domestic violence assaults in which injuries occur, the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. "
This response came from your office to an email sent protesting the one-sided view of domestic violence that your campaign is currently presenting. It is a weak and ineffectual response, and you know this to be true.
Firstly, as I am sure you are aware the key phrase in your response is "in which injuries occur." My wife is an avid researcher on the phenomenon of intimate partner violence, and I'm absolutely no stranger to the "injury stat" that so frequently surfaces, instantly, when criticism is raised about tactics such as yours. Can you honestly charge that women's weaker upper body strength (a sure explanation for the injury disparity) entitles them to violent behavior? Or that in those cases (not a paltry few, whatever your ideological hard-headedness might tell you) where injury to a man does occur that we really ought to ignore it, pretend it doesn't happen, or trivialize it? Having had my arm slashed open by a woman, I can tell you that your pathetic attempt to squirm out of the obvious moral bankruptcy and lack of principle to which campaigns such as your own so often succumb is no consolation to me, nor would it have been on the day that I was very nearly arrested because of the incident...as a result of assumptions that you and your ilk create with your lopsided, ideologically-driven campaigns.
Further, I'm certain you are also aware that a strong majority of instances of child abuse (yes, even the physical variety) are committed by women. Is the fact that "research shows" this to be true fairly reflected in your efforts? Are little girls the targets of re-education efforts? Should they be? If not, why not? Think about that.
You speak of your overarching commitment to the welfare of children who live in abusive environments as well, but something tells me that this is self-righteous posturing, if you are willing to admit to an anti-male bias "for the sake of the children," knowing full well the child abuse perpetration disparity between men and women reflects poorly on women.
There is no such thing as a noble lie, and I am quite weary of this fight. What is so complicated about reflecting violence in the home as study after study shows it actually exists? You pick and choose your stats, as well as the images you parade in front of the public, in order to smear men and shame boys, and to deny that is to insult the intelligence of those who know better. My wife is an "insider," so to speak, and is on the verge of dropping out of the work precisely because she wants--horrors!--a son. I know a fair number of former activists who have similarly quit the movement because of what they see as rampant tunnel vision, and I wonder whether you really think it's worth it.
Sage McLaughlin
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Aweome Sage, So how can we get it out there, a sort of campaign that shows the double edged sword of Domsestic Violence, how do we get billboards up to get people to look at the larger picture????????? Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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How do we get billboards? Maybe Safe4all should contact the Ad Council and try to get them to sponsor an ad campaign about DV against men. The Ad Council does pro bono work.
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Good idea Starrgirl, Does anyone know how to contact Safe4all, and how big there campaining budget is??? What their area covers. Is it just the one city or state. What I remember about them is they are on the rise, but still largely underfunded and under reckonized. I hope that has changed. Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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SAFE covers almost all of the US. We have asked to be the Canadian affiliate. I talked with Jade (the Director) and it's still up in the air. Phill and Marc are working quite a lot and Jade says he is almost totallt working on SAFE now. Jade brought Bert Hoff in to run the two SAFE email lists as he is too busy.
their website is http://www.safe4all.org/
jader@safe4all.org is Jade's email. I'm not sure of Marc or Phill.
the Volksgaren Project: Intelligent Abuse Recovery, http://clix.to/support/, jaxom@amtelecom.net, 519-773-9644
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Thank you for writing in and sharing your concerns about the Ad Council's
new Domestic Violence campaign. You are correct. All batterers are not
men. Violence that is not committed in self-defense is wrong regardless of
the gender of the person who commits the violence. But research shows
conclusively that, in the vast majority of domestic violence assaults in
which injuries occur, the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman.
Domestic violence is a costly and pervasive problem in our society today
because too many men abuse and injure women, and too many children grow up
thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable.
The Ad Council and the Family Violence Prevention Fund's new prevention
campaign is designed to convince men who are role models to their sons,
nephews, friends and neighbors to take time to teach boys how to treat girls
and women. We see men as role models who can carry positive messages about
domestic violence. That is why we designed this campaign to show the
millions of responsible men how they can help prevent domestic abuse.
We need to teach all children about domestic violence. On the Family
Violence Prevention Fund's web site, at www.endabuse.org, you will find
materials that offer tips and advice about how to talk to both boys and
girls.
Please let me know if you would like any additional information about the
campaigns.
Sincerely,
Ellyn Fisher
Manager, Corporate Communications
The Advertising Council
-----
This signature has been infected with Anthrax. Take your medicine.
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so we've got this from the response luek got:
(1) Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments on our new campaign. (2) We agree that all batterers are not men. (3) All violence that is not committed in self-defense is wrong, regardless of the person who commits the violence. But research shows conclusively that in the vast majority of domestic violence assaults in which injuries occur, the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. (4) Domestic violence is a costly and pervasive problem in our society today because too many men abuse and injure women, and too many children grow up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable. (5) The FVPF's new prevention campaign is designed to convince men who are role models to their sons, nephews, friends, and neighbors to take time to teach boys how to treat girls and women. etc...
and this from a response subversive got.
(1) Thank you for writing in and sharing your concerns about the Ad Council's new Domestic Violence campaign. (2) You are correct. All batterers are not men. (3) Violence that is not committed in self-defense is wrong regardless of the gender of the person who commits the violence. But research shows conclusively that, in the vast majority of domestic violence assaults in which injuries occur, the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. (4) Domestic violence is a costly and pervasive problem in our society today because too many men abuse and injure women, and too many children grow up thinking that kind of behavior is acceptable. (5) The Ad Council and the Family Violence Prevention Fund's new prevention campaign is designed to convince men who are role models to their sons, nephews, friends and neighbors to take time to teach boys how to treat girls and women.
both apparently from different people. can you smell a form letter here? sounds to me like they aren't taking any of our letters seriously enough to actually write a real response. i'd suggest graciously pointing this out in any subsequent contacts.
i'd also like to address the following in ellyn fisher's email.
We need to teach all children about domestic violence. On the Family Violence Prevention Fund's web site, at www.endabuse.org, you will find materials that offer tips and advice about how to talk to both boys and girls.
they say, quite diplomatically, that they offer tips for talking to both boys and girls. what they fail to reveal is that their focus is male abusers. anyone else concerned about the sneakiness of that?
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I am concerned. Maybe we should start up some group called CONCERNED CITIZENS FOR A FAIR AND JUST LEGAL SYSTEM. Its primary goal is to put these groups on the spot for systematically turning a blind eye to whatever they don't want to see because its not pro female. Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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problem is most companies when sufficiently large will respond to all initial contact with a form letter.
besides, what kind of acronym is CCFAFAJLS?
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besides, what kind of acronym is CCFAFAJLS?
I know it blows, but what can we do????
Shouldnt we do something.
Dan Lynch
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Actually, my first thought was that someone needed to ask them in what ways they speak to boys and girls DIFFERENTLY, and if they do, why?
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Canned response, national policy
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Rather than argue about statistics and the theorectical degree to which battered men refuse to come forward to report their domestic abuse by women to the police, I'd like to approach my concerns about this issue from another direction.
I understand that you feel that domestic violence is a crime largely perpetrated by men against women. I understand that your organization wants to reach out to men especially, to make sure they participate in teaching their children that domestic violence is never acceptable behavior. What I don't understand is why your organization feels it necessary to add to the shame and suffering of male victims of female domestic abuse by publicly pretending that they do not exist.
A first step towards a more humane and inclusive approach to preventing domestic violence would be to include links to websites such as Stop Abuse For Everyone (SAFE), http://www.safe4all.org/, in your Domestic Violence web links section.
Another small step you could take is to modify the text of the Reaching Men campaign web site and brochure, where domestic violence is described in all-inclusive-looking language as:
"a pattern of abusive behavior that one person uses against another. Abuse can be violent behaviors such as hitting, punching and slapping, but it doesnt have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse. It can also involve sexual assault. It can happen to anyone, at any age, no matter what race or religion they are, no matter what their level of education or economic background. Domestic violence also occurs in same-sex relationships."
to make it clear that domestic violence can also be perpetrated by women against the men in their lives.
Even if the problem of female domestic violence is as small as you believe it to be, it is not theoretical or imaginary. My ex-girlfriend used to hit me pretty hard whenever she got upset and I never touched her even once (I'm a non-violent person), and I'm really one of the lucky ones. There are hundreds of thousands if not millions of battered men out there, with very few places to turn for help. Please read some accounts of this abuse and try to put yourself in their shoes. Your organization's message, though well-meaning, contributes to many women and men not realizing that when women hit men that is domestic abuse too and it is just as wrong. This is turn contributes to increased domestic violence.
I know that there are millions of women out there suffering right now at the hands of violent and abusive men. Perhaps you used to be one of them, as I imagine some survivors get involved in your line of work. But only your actions on this issue will reveal whether you are so hardened and cynical that you find it impossible to sympathize with some victims of domestic abuse just because they are men and the people who brutalize them are women. Or whether it is domestic violence itself that is your enemy, and not men.
-----
This signature has been infected with Anthrax. Take your medicine.
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by Anonymous User on Monday April 01, @03:45PM EST (#6)
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The DV stats on that page are rather one-sided and most of them come from DoJ reports (which count reports of crime)
So female-on-anyone violence will never get solved.
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I think young men should be more receptive to our message. (will elaborate more when I will be free)
CONTACT THE MEDIA!
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Groups such as Men Can Stop Rape et all are specifically targetting young men, even though it's MY experience that young men are not at all in need of this "education" about domestic violence. They do not see a poster saying "DV is wrong" and have a lightbulb go off over their heads with "what? gasp! you mean I can't punch my girlfriend? egads! I was unaware! thank you anti-DV campaign!"
It is just saddening, because though they acknowledge that it's not fair, they don't want to counteract it. Bleh.
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by Anonymous User on Friday April 05, @10:33AM EST (#57)
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They do not see a poster saying "DV is wrong" and have a lightbulb go off over their heads with "what? gasp! you mean I can't punch my girlfriend? egads! I was unaware! thank you anti-DV campaign!"
----------------------------
Yes, in a way.
Most people who will bother reading "DV is wrong" signs mostly already know that DV is wrong.
The issue seems to be people who just don't get that DV is wrong...
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How can we get a campaign going , how do we show the otherside of the coin. Can we get ads in newspapers? Billboards? Is there a message to get this out there, that stops this one sided veiw, that clearly only creates violence, and perpetuates the problem. They can't expect someone not to defend themselves in arguements, and by shere frustration of being locked up in ironically an extremely violent place (jail) they become violent and vengeful. After losing all they have, house, money, car, children, job, you have left these people as very dangerous individuals with nothing more to lose. Then what you have so many times is suicide, or murder suicide. But solving the problem probably means putting them out of a job.
Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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According to the AD COUNCIL site at: http://www.adcouncil.org/fr_camp_current.html
the funding and advertising work for this myopic DV campaign was voluntarily given by the Berlin Cameron & Partners advertising agency.
Their website is at:
http://www.bc-p.com/
Avi Dan, Managing Partner
E-mail dan@bc-p.com
Maybe in the interest of balance and furthering the cause of ending domestic violence they could be convinced to donate their expertise and funding to present the other side of the picture?
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Anyone seen any of the commercials for Truth? You know, the anti-smoking and anti-tobacco industry group? Ever check out their website? Those little "pranks" get ALOT of attention. They are quickly engaging, sometimes entertaining, and they SHOCK people with the facts. The REAL facts. Maybe some people could do things like that, assuming that it's all legal. You wouldn't want to trespass or violate anyone's rights or anything, but grass-roots sort of distributions. Print up some flyers, even, with stats and website addresses so people can look stuff up themselves. It's time to get SHOCKING. I don't mean get perverse, horrific, grotesque or anything, but just grab people's attention.
Credendo Vides
(By believing, one sees)
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I like that idea, but who sponsors 'Truth'?? Are they government sponsored?? We need someone else's money, much like what N.O.W. does. They use other peoples money and sponsorship, but maybe your right it has to start somewhere Mayaman
Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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Excellent idea, mayaman. Also, those of us at university campuses have a particularly advantageous opportunity to pass out flyers and post them wherever. It could be quite effective at spreading awareness of the facts about DV against men. Unfortunately, I see a potential problem with this: the wimmin' studies drones will likely fight back quite vehemently by spouting vomit and posting flyers such as "all men are potential rapists."
Scott, I'm sure that you have dealt with issues similar to this. Do you (or anyone else) have any suggestions on whether this would be a good idea in spite of the potential repercussions from the wimmins studies department?
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I think your right about the women's groups lashing out at you, but I say do it anyway, and continue to do it. Then use their laws asgainst them as far as free speech is concerned. I feel that universities are one of the most ideal sposts to spread the men's movement. The people are still shaping their lives, they are young and are more prone to radicalism, as well many of them have younger brothers or sisters that they can inform, this will get into the highschools, and they themselves will challenge the entire acedemia. Universitie students network on idle time and public debate is a constant. What we even may end up having is men's activists crashing feminist forums and challenging the accusations. Hopfully violence will not ensue, but I have no doubt in my mind that the feminists will throw punches. We have to remember they have been brainwashed for many, many years. We have to look at what the feminist movement suffered in their beginnings, we will go threw the same trials, i.e. attacks on our manhood, our sexual preference, asked if some woman hurt us badley, or just hate women in perticular. But hopefully we will come up with adequate defences and responces. We will be at a disadvatage if violence does erupt, if a female hits a man this is not considered assault but if a man hits back in self-defence it is. So be careful not to hit, harm or even push if possible and make sure you have plenty of witnesses, and always try to keep your cool. Try to spread the word with logical arguements that destroy the police reports and F.B.I. stats they love to use, as they rarely involve female to anyone violence because no one calls the police on them. I would even suggest if you are assaulted while passing out flyers press charges, but I'm not so sure this is a good idea, as it will probably get turned around and you will be the one accused. Try to always have witnesses, and or use security camera's as your witness. Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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by Anonymous User on Monday April 01, @08:38PM EST (#15)
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http://www.wcstx.com/domsticv.htm
Facts About Domestic Violence
FBI statistics indicate that every 12 seconds a woman is beaten by her husband, boyfriend, or lover.
Battering happens to women of every culture, age, color, nationality and educational socio-economic level.
Of the children who witness domestic violence, 60% of the boys eventually become batterers, and 50% of the girls become victims.
Police officers spend at least 1/3 of their time responding to domestic violence calls.
64% of all women will be battered at some time in their lives.
60% of battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.
95% of all spousal assaults are committed by men.
81% of men who batter had fathers who abused their mothers.
Children raised in violent homes are 74% more likely to commit assault.
6 million American women are beaten each year by their husbands or boyfriends. 4,000 of them are killed.
52% of female murder victims are killed by their partners.
Battering is the single major cause of injury to women -- more frequent than auto accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. It is the leading cause of emergency room visits by women.
1 in 4 female suicides were victims of family violence.
Nine women in the U.S. Virgin Islands have died as a result of domestic violence since 1994.
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95% of all spousal assaults are committed by men.
Kindly give the citation for this alleged FBI statistic (an FBI publication, not some website that, from what I can see, gives no citations to support its allegations) or stop spreading your typical, hateful, feminist distortions and lies.
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It should probably read 95% percent of all reported, and generically curbed by police reports, are committed by men. This I believe is probably true. As the man is never believed if he does say something, and just never reports it. Dan Lynch. p.s. say high to Steinam at MS-information mag for me.
Dan Lynch
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I agree with you, Dan, that the reporting of cases of DV skews the real statistics, but I doubt that even those distorted values show 95% of spousal abuse being committed by men. This smacks to me of a typical, complete lie declared by feminists and not questioned by those who get pleasure out of spreading hatred against all those born outside of their female biological group.
We'll see. Maybe this individual will actually come up with something that resembles a valid citation.
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Whooa! beep,beep beep, back the truck up we don't want to make women accoutable for their actions do we, that actualy might make them equals, or rather make men equals. I was just discussing how college women are claiming rape after being dumped because they can't take the thought of rejection, so its easier to tell people you were raped instead of dumped. This is something I was blackmailed with by an ex-girfriend who accused me of breaking into her house. She out right told me if I didnt take her "Michelle Jones" to Europe with her she was going to have me put in jail. I didnt take her to europe and I was charged with forcible entry. I was lucky I had 6 witnesses and I scared the D.A. off and just accepted a peace bond to end it and leave it. She still calls me and tells me she wants me back. Isnt that a form of Domestic Violence??? False accustations. Dan Lynch asks where the good girls are?
Dan Lynch
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She out right told me if I didnt take her "Michelle Jones" to Europe with her she was going to have me put in jail.
I wonder how many women rape men with a method similar to this. Admittedly, it might be difficult to get and maintain an erection, while having a gun pointed to one's head. Nevertheless, it would be far more possible if one were told, "Have sex with me or I'll accuse you of rape," and then given time to respond.
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is it only rape if it's penetration?
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is it only rape if it's penetration?
Perhaps the expression should be "sexual assault." If a woman orders a man to give her oral sex under the threat of a false accusation of rape, then she has committed a sex crime. Likewise, if she puts a gun to the man's head and forces him to perform oral sex on her, she would be committing a sex crime. The specific crime might depend on the details of the case, but the crime would certainly be some form of sexual assault. If, however, she uses threats or force to coerce the man into engaging in sexual intercourse, then she would definitely be raping him.
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I will add to this that, if a man is considered guilty of rape for forcing a woman to perform oral sex on him, then a woman who forces a man to perform oral sex on her should be considered guilty of rape and face the same punishment.
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It should probably read 95% percent of all reported, and generically curbed by police reports, are committed by men. This I believe is probably true. As the man is never believed if he does say something, and just never reports it. Dan Lynch. p.s. say high to Steinam at MS-information mag for me.
Indeed, Dan. As I mentioned in my last column on the subject, one cannot take seriously FBI or police statistics when male victims of domestic violence are afraid to go to authorities because it is they--and not the abuser--who will be arrested.
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Trust me Im with ya Nightmist, and I am probably reciting your very words. Tell me do you know or can you say that the male view is being put forward?? Is the men's movement making any ground at showing the other side of the story???? The reason is as men we should be sick of the Gender Profiling, when are we going to get national support on this????? Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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The domestic violence "facts" presented in the earlier post need careful scrutiny. There are lies and misleading statements. Females assault their male partners at about an equal rate, as Nightmist has stated.
The claim that domestic violence is the single major cause of injury to women -- and the leading cause of emergency room visits for women -- is pure nonsense.
Before reading these "facts" people should know that men are much more likely than women to be murdered. Married women in the US are rarely murdered (900 women murdered annually in the US by the man they married out of 54 million married women). And male victims of spousal homicide are probably undercounted for several reasons.
As has been pointed out in previous articles and columns, men are more likely than women to underreport their injuries resulting from domestic abuse. And doctors aren't trained to cross examine men to make sure their reported athletic injury isn't really a domestic battery injury.
According to a '94 Justice Dept report on family violence, males made up almost 40 percent of spousal homicide victims.
Women are more likely to strike the first blow and to use weapons and severe violence against men. Also, indications are that between '75 and '92 overall violence decreased against women while it increased against men.
In a national sample of men and women dating, women were five times more likely to be severely violent.
Warren Farrell points out in his '99 book "Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say" that according to DV surveys of BOTH sexes done in the US, Canada, England and other countries, women are more likely to initiate violence and to inflict severe violence. Women themselves acknowledged they are more likely to be violent and to be the initiators of violence. Also, women were more likely to engage in severe violence that was not reciprocated.
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Warren Farrell points out in his '99 book "Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say" that according to DV surveys of BOTH sexes done in the US, Canada, England and other countries, women are more likely to initiate violence and to inflict severe violence. Women themselves acknowledged they are more likely to be violent and to be the initiators of violence. Also, women were more likely to engage in severe violence that was not reciprocated.
So how come Im not hearing this on "politically incorrect" probably the most p.c. show on television as far as Im concerned. Who gives a crap what some actor thinks about somalia. Im not hearing anything about men and domestic voilence unless they are the perps. The news says nothing, the local papers only report, the one side and disregard others as not news worthy. Farrel has taken great strides and has been published, but nobody Knows Him (outside of the men's movement). What we need is coporate sponsorship. What we need is the counterpart to the VAGINA MONOLOGUES (like it was nessesary to get people to at least say VAGINA) so that men can get millions of dollars in donations to put up billboards to tell people just exactly how bad women are. Then have call in centers and tell people that "its not our experience that men abuse women" Dan Lynch
Dan Lynch
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by Anonymous User on Monday April 01, @11:44PM EST (#26)
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At last some truth. I've known 8 women who have been battered, 2 of them being held captive through fear for so long they developed agoraphobia and I resent this attempt to paint night as day by the males here.
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday April 02, @12:32AM EST (#30)
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I know 1 man and 0 women who have been battered. So what's your point?
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday April 02, @06:59AM EST (#34)
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As if a woman who's been battered would confide in a person like yourself. Maybe you don't know any women at all.
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A snappy, well-informed, and clearly scholarly response! Jesus, when are you people going to realize just how ignorant that sort of viotrolous invective makes you look?
If this is what passes for reason in your circles, it's no wonder my wife is so disgusted with the Women's Studies Department at her university. She is, by the way, a paid domestic violence researcher and activist. The way you slip into the comfortable rhetoric of personal insult is typical of your maladjusted ilk, and it says more about you than the people you attempt to belittle.
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday April 02, @11:42AM EST (#39)
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Hey, that's a pretty good one. You certainly can't be accused of lacking a sense of humour, that's for sure. Maybe lacking any capacity for intelligent discourse, but lacking a sense of humour? Nope.
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by Anonymous User on Tuesday April 02, @04:44PM EST (#53)
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An Anonymous User wrote this comment:
"As if a woman who's been battered would confide in a person like yourself. Maybe you don't know any women at all."
And wrote this when he/she was criticized for it:
"Hey, that's a pretty good one. You certainly can't be accused of lacking a sense of humour, that's for sure. Maybe lacking any capacity for intelligent discourse, but lacking a sense of humour? Nope."
Now, take a good look at both comments. Does anybody besides me smell the stink of hypocricy and immaturity? Does Mr./MS. Anonymous sound even remotely like somebody interested in "intelligent discourse"? The fact that he/she chose to use the old "Your criticisms amuse me!" response (which was something I thought 12-year-olds specialized in) should be answer enough.
So, Mr./MS. Anonymous, rather than hurling random insults at people you disagree with, do you think you could take the time to "practice what you preach"?
Ok, this is your que to spout more short, unjustified insults, and maybe another "Your opinion is so funny!" comment before bolting.
Will Q has spoken...
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I know 1 man and 0 women who have been battered. So what's your point?
Don't even bother, mis amigo. This is obviously a case of a pheminist troll who has her mind made up and is uninterested in being confused with facts. Heck, man, she's to dumb to see that the title of the post is labeled "MS-information" - you know, the junk science that "Ms." magazine and wastes of trees like that continually post to support their agenda of misandrist hate.
---- Burn, Baby, Burn ----
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If there is any painting night as day its been done by the feminist DV industry. All you have to do is look at the excellent meta analysis on violence in relationships by John Archer published in the highly respected Psych Bulletin Journal (2000). What you will find is a study that pours over all of the research done to that point. This is not based on how many friends each of us had who were abused....it's good solid research and it clearly states that women actually inititate violence in relationships more often then men. It goes on to say that injuries due to these acts of violence are distributed 62% to the women and 38% to the men. These aren't feelings. These are researched facts. Deal with it.
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Ya but the biggest problem and the biggest propaganda artists are the police forces of our cities. They know whats good for them, and they control the crime rate but what they investigate. Don't be fooled by "justice" and "to serve and protect". They are a buisness, they are a company, they (the police) have interests in crime, they always make it seem worse than it is, because if they didnt, they would get laid off. Dan Lynch disgusted with the guns for hire.
Dan Lynch
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The Gender-Feminist approach to family violence must be part of the mix. However, to use it, as you have, in an advertising campaign is wrong.
Murray Strauss and Rich Gelles as well as numerous other researchers have repeatedly said that the gender-feminist approach you advertise from is more harmful than the men's groups idea of using a gender-neutral approach. The fact is telling boys they may-be or will-be abusers and telling girls that they will-be-abused is an assault upon children.
Why not try a moderate approach? Here is what we do, there is one for men, women, GayMen, Lesbians, children... There are small posters of this type for molestation and for bullying and more coming out all the time. The point is all research is now extremely clear in saying that the primary effort for reducing violence within the family must come from an inclusive point of view. Sexism, such as you advertise, drives people away and in the end hurts not only innocent children, but adult victims as well.
Remember, Bullying contains family violence as Science contains physics! We must approach family violence from the bullying point of view.
All of our page sized posters are on our website and may be freely photocopied for distribution.
Also, I saw your note to Luek on Mensactivism.Org, the statistics you quote are wrong as they assume the CTS is invalid. We statisticians are positive that BOTH the GSM and the CTS are required to understand violence within the family. The two models measure very different things. Furthermore, the harm done to men in the aftermath of family breakup (the wife using the justice system as a weapon) is not caught in either model. Yet, it is clear now that women using the justice system as a weapon is a massive and critically important part of the family violence puzzle.
Also, can you see how, to a male victim, your ad would appear as an attack on him? We have suicide notes from male victims which are clear in speaking of this phenomenon: Male victims since they have severe trouble finding service and are very often punished (or jailed) tend to see sexism (and your ad is sexist) as another attack.
How would you respond to this email? (I will have to respond later today...
My wife and I got into a argument on the 5th of March. Due to the fact that she had gotten violent before I left the house and called
the police from my neighbors Apt. When they arrived they talked with both of us. I ended up going to jail that night. I never touched her
and thought I was doing the smart thing by calling the police. I guess she claimed I hit her and that was all it took for me to be an
abuser. While I was in jail she filed for a protection order keeping me from the house. Our tax return came in while the order was in
effect and she spent it all(totaled more than $2,000). 20 days later we went to court for the new order. The judge asked her if she felt
threatened, she said no. He asked her if there was a problem with me having visitation with the kids, she said no. He asked if there was a
problem with me going to the neighbors home(next door Apt.), she said no. He then asked her why she wanted it extended, she said she didn't
want to be harassed. He extended it for 90 days giving her everything and control of our kids. She was also given a free lawyer to handle
the divorce. She now calls me as late as 2 am asking me to watch kids. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. She was given a domestic violence
ticket which ended up being dropped down to disturbing the peace. $173 fine and 2 years probation. I'm looking at jail time possably.
I'm beggining to think I should not have called the police(no sh*t right). I have been reading the letters for about a week now and am
finding strength in them. I'm not the only one.
Greg Sherk, Director
the Volksgaren Project: Intelligent Abuse Recovery for All.
Suite 143, 24 First Ave., St. Thomas, ON, Canada, N5R 6H8
T: 519-773-9644 F: 519-637-1210
URL: http://clix.to/support/
One of our single page poster/pamphlets:
The Volksgaren Project: the Volksgaren Journal
people working together: Intelligent Abuse Recovery for all
Suite 143, 24 First Ave. St. Thomas, ON, Canada, N5R 6H8
tel: 519-773-9644 fax: 519-637-1210
email: jaxom@amtelecom.net URL: http://clix.to/support/
The Battered Man in Canada
Stacey had a rocky dating history with many boyfriends dumping her due to her habit of throwing things while screaming insults. Eventually she married Steve and had two children with him. Steve wanted to leave Stacey due to her constant abuse and his physical injuries. Stacey, suspecting that Steve had told the doctor where his injuries came from formed a self defense plan:
To ensure that her violence could never be brought against her Stacey charged Steve with domestic violence and got a restraining order against him. The charges where eventually dropped yet the damage had already been done to Steve and the children. Her violence drove her husband away and the family court judge gave her custody of their children. Furthermore, Stacey used Steve s imaginary abuse as a weapon to allege Steve was hiding money from her. This resulted in the judge imputing Steve's income and setting child support at three-quarters of his take home pay.
An extremely angry Steve joined a local men's group and dropped out within a year due to the massive amount of work needed to change the system. Stacey continued to abuse the children in spite of Steve's objections. She dated many men. Yet, Stacey could not find a man willing to commit to her due to her abusive personality.
After dating for four years Stacey met Jim whose strong personality attracted her. Unknown to Stacey, Jim liked to beat women. As Stacey s abuse grew, Jim's violence grew. After two years Jim beat her so badly that she nearly died.
While Stacey was hospitalized, Steve had the children. He found them so badly damaged that only many years of therapy will put them back onto a road to mental health. Shortly after Stacey's release from the hospital, Steve in deep frustration over his children's abuse, his inability to resolve Stacey's and the justice system's abuse of him, killed himself.
This scenario describes a common pattern for abusive women and battered husbands. Not all parts of this scenario are present in every case of husband abuse: Yet most cases of abused men contain the majority of these points:
The abusive woman is a serial abuser who, if stopped, is stopped by a violent man.
The abusive mother abuses the children as well as her husband.
The abused man fails to protect the children from his wife s abuse.
The abused man refuses to speak publicly about the abuse.
The abused man misrepresents his injuries to doctors and nurses.
The abusive mother uses the justice system as a weapon to further abuse the father.
The abusive woman has the victim arrested.
The abusive mother gains custody of any children at divorce.
The family courts refuse to protect the children or the man from the abusive woman.
The abusive mother lies to artificially inflate the father s income and therefore, her child support.
The justice system and the abuse create the conditions for the abused man's suicide.
If you have been in a violent relationship, you may have some of these feelings:
afraid to tell anyone
depressed or humiliated
afraid you have failed as a lover
guilty about leavin g her or scared of coping alone
furious that she could do or say what she did
confused because sometimes she is loving and kind
guilty about leaving her
frustrated and sad because you tried everything
afraid of continued violence if you leave
panicked that you may lose your male identity if people know what has been going on
worried about your financial security
made to believe that you deserved it
Please get help.
An abusive wife is not something a man can handle on his own.
Pastoral counselors, Family Therapists and your local men s group all have programs for battered men. Plus there are a few Canadian shelters for battered men.
the Volksgaren Project: Intelligent Abuse Recovery, http://clix.to/support/, jaxom@amtelecom.net, 519-773-9644
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The Change Of Life, Hysterectomies, And Domestic Violence
Notice
This is not a site that a person should use as a medical reference. Information presented below is drawn from other sources, as noted, and is presented here for instructive purposes only in association with factors that we believe may influence family violence.
Web sites dealing specifically with menopause can be found here.
Any woman who suspects she may be undergoing the change of life should seek competent medical help. Any man who recognizes the symptoms tabulated below in his mate, or another woman he is close to, should ask her to visit a doctor with expertise in this phase of a woman's life.
A note of caution, however. Most doctors we have talked to are quite uninformed about this period of a woman's life, even physicians who claim to practice in this area. Any woman entering this time of her life is well advised to inform herself about what she is going through.
A great deal of information on the subject of perimenopause and menopause can be found at Doctor's Guide: Menopause. We also recommend you read Menopause: A Guide for Women & Those Who Love Them.
Most medical authorities agree that hysterectomies are usually unnecessary. We urge anyone considering such surgery to read Hysterectomy: Before and After and get a second opinion on the necessity for surgery over treatment before proceeding.
--------------------------------------------------
Perimenopause: The change of life
Time after time when we talk to couples who are in their forties, or who remember their parents during this time, there are difficulties in the relationship between a man and a woman. One of the contributing factors to those difficulties is a biological change referred to most commonly as the change of life, or perimenopause, that all human females undergo as they approach menopause, or the cessation of menses.
One of the most common threads in the responses we have received through this Web site about abusive women is that they are either in their early 40's or they have had a hysterectomy. If drugs or alcohol are also a problem in the relationship, the mix seems to be explosive. However, our sample is not large enough to be statistically valid and the results are biased toward men and women who are computer literate and usually middle class.
Perimenopause begins at an average age of 43. But according to Planned Parenthood, perimenopause may begin as early as age 35. It may also occur at a much younger age due to a hysterectomy or naturally. Usually, age 35 is the lower limit for natural onset.
Most women are taken by surprise when it starts.
Perimenopause starts about two years earlier for women who smoke than for women who don't. The timing is not related to race, class, pregnancy, breast feeding, fertility patterns, birth control pills, height, age of menarche (first period), or age at last pregnancy.
Perimenopause, or the period a woman goes through known as the "change of life," typically lasts at least five years before the cessation of menses that marks actual menopause. Women reach actual menopause at different times. While for most women perimenopause will last about five years, for some it lasts as long as 10 to 12 years.
As noted in Table 16 of the section on frequency of domestic violence, there are dramatic shifts in the perpetrator of family violence during these years. Since modern medicine has made vast strides in relieving the problems associated with perimenopause, or the hormonal imbalance introduced by a hysterectomy, it is our contention that this is an area where family violence can be reduced, and domestic harmony increased, by education and proper medical care. We would like you to note that our approach is in stark contrast to the feminist approach of always blaming the male, invoking police intervention, and forcibly separating the couple.
The danger to both partners during this period is not trivial. Langran and Dawson (1995) found that in the spouse murders they investigated the average age of husbands who had killed their wife was 41; and 37 years for wives who had killed their husbands.
We suggest that you consult the Planned Parenthood Web site for additional information on the change of life. We also recommend you read Menopause: A Guide for Women & Those Who Love Them by Winnifred B. Cutler, Ph.D. and Celso Ramon Garcia, M.D.
It could save your relationship and possibly your life!
Follicle stimulation hormone test
Top
If your wife, companion, or other female friends are 35 or over and suddenly begin acting or feeling strange, then the onset of perimenopause should be considered as likely. If a woman is between 40 and 45, and experiencing any of the symptoms listed below, it is a virtual certainty that perimenopause has begun.
A woman's gynecologist or family doctor can run a simple and fast Follicle Stimulation Hormone (FSH) test to determine if a woman is perimenopausal, or it can now be done at home.
Follicle-stimulating hormone encourages the ovaries to produce estrogen. During her fertile years a woman normally has very low levels of FSH, generally less than 20 or so nanograms per milliliter of blood. As women age, however, the ovaries respond less and less to escalating levels of FSH. In turn, the pituitary gland produces more FSH, seeking to prod the ovaries into producing more estrogen. Thus, elevated levels of FSH are normally associated with decreased estrogen levels and the onset of perimenopause.
Physicians Laboratories recently began selling the Revival Menopause Home Test . The kit costs $60 and can be ordered by calling (800) 500-2055 or on the Web at http://www.menopausehometest.com/. Their menopause test has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and gauges ovarian activity by measuring the level of FSH with a small sample of urine.
Testesterone
Increased levels of testesterone relative to decreasing estrogen during this period in a woman's life has the same effect on women as it does on men when the balance is destroyed.
One study found that the female hormone estrogen "...was a source of aggressive tendencies." (Cook, 1997, p. 33) What new scientific research may be finding is that any imbalance of testosterone or estrogen may lead to higher levels of aggression in both males and females who are predisposed to violence.
The net result is that your once sweet wife may now be a raging monster that you don't even recognize at times. You may even need to physically restrain her until the problem is recognized and she begins the Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) regime, assuming she will. Even after she begins HRT it will usually take 2 to 3 months, or longer, before she returns to 'normal.'
In the interim it does no one any good, and a substantial number of people harm, to treat the physical restraint that is occasionally necessary as 'domestic violence.' Nor should the quarrels that almost inevitably occur in such unfortunate situations be regarded as domestic abuse by the male.
Perimenopause is a natural biological condition with emotional side effects that can be medically treated.
Involving the police and the courts does immeasurable harm.
Signs of approaching menopause
The conditions women experience before and after menopause are very real and sometimes very serious. While the change of life is something that all human females go through, about 10%-15% of American women experience no signs of menopause. Conversely, about 10%-15% become physically or emotionally disabled for various periods of time by these conditions. Put another way, there is roughly a 90% chance that a woman will experience varying levels of physical and emotional distress as she passes through the change of life.
For the unfortunate 10% to 15% of women who become physically and emotionally disabled during these years, life can be a nightmare for the woman, her mate, and any children they have at home. While going through the change of life, an RN, who is now an elderly matron, said she would be quietly washing dishes at the sink and turn around ready to kill someone. Another RN, age 50, who had started taking hormone replacement therapy (HRT), told of how she would come home from work looking for a dog to kick before she began HRT. Conversely, women who do start HRT after the onset of perimenopause, or a hysterectomy, often refer to the treatment as "happy pills."
Repeatedly, women who have been through the emotional distress of perimenopause say that they are not aware it is happening. Therefore, the person to whom it is happening is the worst possible judge of her condition.
Any man who has been with a woman who has had a hysterectomy, or while she is going through the change of life, recognizes the grim humor in "I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun." The good news for everyone is that she will almost certainly return to normal within a few months of beginning HRT. Hormone therapy has also been shown to be effective in maintaining lean body mass and keeping cholesterol levels low.
According to Planned Parenthood the average age for cessation of menses, or actual menopause, is 51. They list the following as common signs of approaching menopause, or perimenopause. Such symptoms begin at an average age of 43 as estrogen levels begin to drop:
Most women's menstrual periods become irregular.
Achy joints.
Fatigue and decreased energy.
Weight gain and increased cholesterol levels.
Difficulty in concentrating.
Headaches.
Hot flashes or night sweats (including extreme sweating and difficulty breathing).
Insomnia or early wakening.
Mood changes (these may be sudden and radical).
Conditions commonly associated with PMS.
Changes in sexual desire (either an increase or a decrease).
Frequent urination.
Vaginal dryness.
Itching, or a feeling that insects are crawling on your skin known as formication.
In Menopause: A Guide for Women & Those Who Love Them , Winnifred B. Cutler, Ph.D. and Celso Ramon Garcia, M.D. also list the following possible symptoms:
Backaches (a very common complaint).
Memory loss or difficulty remembering things.
Offensive menstrual odor or increased discharge.
Breasts become very tender and sore at odd times (occurs in about one-third of women).
Emotional distress that may include, but is not limited to, irrational anger or fear, violent acts, unjustified jealousy, and erratic behavior.
Evidence of skin aging (increased dryness, 'liver spots', sagging skin, wrinkles, etc.)
Changes in visual acuity requiring changes in eyeglass prescriptions or other vision problems.
Genital and urinary-tract infections.
A woman may have one, some, or none of these signs. But the ones she does have can be so unpredictable and disturbing that she can feel like she's "going crazy." Her mate may think she is.
Formication, which affects about 35% of women, can cause her to scratch herself raw. Formication is also associated with alcoholism and may be accentuated in women who drink heavily.
Often her mate will feel she is taking her frustration out on him and most males have a very hard time recognizing or dealing with perimenopause, particularly if the woman is unaware it is happening due to early onset or other factors. She may also refuse to seek treatment.
Planned Parenthood points out that a woman's experiences during menopause may also be influenced by other life changes:
Children leaving home.
Changes in domestic, social, and personal relationships.
Changes in identity and body image.
Divorce or widowhood.
Retirement.
Increased anxiety about aging and death.
Loss of friends, loved ones, and financial security.
Increased responsibility for aging parents.
Anxiety about loss of independence, disability, or loneliness.
Increasing numbers of perimenopausal women also have young children to care for as they bear later in life.
Many women also report "feeling invisible" to men due to a loss of sexual attraction as menopause approaches.
Divorce is a common companion of this period of a woman's life as the husband is unable to cope with the erratic, irrational, destructive, and violent monster he now finds himself living with. Or she finds she can no longer tolerate behavior she once found so adorable. Allegations and actual incidences of domestic violence surface three times as frequently for separating wives than for divorced women, and twenty-five times more often than for married women.
This period of a woman's life is commonly described as The Terrible Three: mid-life, perimenopause, divorce. To obtain an estimate of the effect of perimenopause on many women's lives one need only look in the personals column of any newspaper to see the preponderance of women in their 40's.
In a study of domestic violence as it relates to age among cohabiting and married partners, Stets and Straus found that the ratio of female-only violence actually increases with age. For cohabiting couples 45+, female-only violence rises to an astonishing two-thirds of the violent couples studied (Table 16).
Langran and Dawson (1995) found that in the spouse murders they investigated the average age of husbands who had killed their wife was 41; and 37 years for wives who had killed their husbands.
The previous two paragraphs suggest that easing the problems of the change of life that all females undergo could be a significant factor in reducing domestic violence. The current practice of arresting middle-aged males because the wife has gone berserk is counter-productive for society.
We have replaced the relatively delicate means by which society previously handled menopausal women with laws that blame the male for an act of nature.
Premenstrual syndrome
During their fertile years up to 75% of women suffer from what has been termed Pre Menstrual Syndrome (PMS) each month in the days leading up to menstruation.
While we are not aware of any research connecting domestic violence and PMS, any man living with a woman who suffers from PMS is well aware of the tensions and depression associated with this time of her monthly cycle.
Warren Farrell does list PMS as one of the twelve female only defenses he tabulates. So there is almost certainly a link between domestic violent and abuse and PMS that hasn't been researched to our knowledge.
Women suffering from PMS suffer from one or more of the following symptoms:
Mood swings, depression, anxiety, anger, and crying spells.
Bloating or swelling, often in their belly or legs.
Craving for sweets, particularly chocolate, or salts.
Breasts become tender in the days before menstruation.
Fatigue.
Headache.
Lower backache or overall aches and pains.
Cramping.
Note that many, if not all these problems are also associated with perimenopause. It is suspected that one reason many women don't recognize the onset of perimenopause is that they having been suffering for years from PMS. Perimenopause then just seems like the same old problem. It isn't!
In severe cases of PMS drugs such as Prozac may offer some relief. There is also evidence that calcium supplements may ease the problems of PMS for some women. As is usually the case, a healthy diet and exercise will help as well. Some women report sexual congress during PMS helps relieve the symptoms as well.
Whatever the problem, PMS is not her male partner's fault, though victims of PMS often rant and irrationally complain about and to their mates during this time of the month.
Should domestic violence and abuse prove to be linked to PMS, we most certainly won't solve the problem by blaming the man.
Hysterectomies
About 50% of American women have full or partial hysterectomies in their lifetime, often at a relatively young age. Aside from the fact that such operations are usually unnecessary, the emotional distress introduced by the resultant hormone imbalance must very frequently be a factor in domestic relations. It is, after all, the equivalent of castrating a male.
A hysterectomy is instant menopause and, in general, the medical profession does a very poor job of preparing women for the physical and emotional changes associated with the operation. To do so would no doubt cut into the lucrative, but unnecessary, surgical practices of many doctors.
For example, a study by Dr. Glenn Braunstein, of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center of Los Angeles, found that about 43% of women who had hysterectomies reported sexual dysfunction after their surgery. The problems included a decrease in sex drive and sexual pleasure, inability to achieve orgasm, and sometimes depression.
Despite adequate estrogen-hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to overcome vaginal dryness, women who have had this operation often complain of a loss of physical attractiveness.
A hysterectomy, with or without removal of the ovaries, also accelerates the endocrine changes characteristic of aging. Even when the ovaries are retained, the surgery accelerates ovarian senescence by approximately 5 years.
If you talk to the male companions of most women who have undergone a hysterectomy, they often find themselves dealing with a crazy woman they don't recognize. Men are singularly unprepared to deal with hormone-imbalance induced changes in women. Most men can't deal with women's moods even when they are presumably 'normal.' It commonly takes more than a year to stabilize the required HRT regime after surgery. Survival of a relationship during that period is an iffy proposition.
If someone close to you has undergone a hysterectomy, and their physician or surgeon has not started them on hormone replacement therapy (HRT), we would suggest they seek another opinion regarding the desirability of beginning HRT. An excellent book on the subject is: Hysterectomy: Before and After by Winnifred Cutler, Ph.D. It is best to read this book well in advance of submitting to "surgical menopause." We would particularly recommend consulting this book, and discussing it with your doctor, if someone dear to you is being advised to have a hysterectomy.
Men are almost always totally unprepared for hormonally-induced mood swings in women. PMS is bad enough, but when, during perimenopause, or after a hysterectomy, the lovely and loving creature he lives with turns into a volcanic virago, the male is baffled. Almost certainly, everything he tries to do to fix the problem will make things worse.
The playful kitten he lives with is suddenly a raging lioness after a hysterectomy, and he is forced to defend himself and the children against her. Arresting the male, forcing him from his home, and taking his children away is not the solution to this problem, but it is the approach taken by current laws.
Very few men can handle arrest and forced eviction gracefully, and the common result is separation and divorce, children in misery, and lowered living standards. That seems such a waste when most hysterectomies are unnecessary, and HRT has been shown to be commonly safe and effective in relieving the emotional distress.
The menopause cycle is natural, hysterectomies are not. Neither is a situation that should be handled in a criminal court under the guise of 'domestic violence.' There are also many other factors that lead to emotional disturbances in women, and men, that are commonly associated with violence. Arrest and imprisonment are seldom the solution to such medical problems.
Other conditions associated with the change of life
For many people, middle age is a period when other biological problems crop up. If a woman goes to her doctor for menopausal symptoms, a competent physician will also test for thyroid and other endocrinal problems. Late-onset diabetes and weight control problems also are common during the middle years. All of these conditions can cause personality and physical changes that bring added strain to what may already be a troubled relationship.
The good news is that with proper medical care and exercise these conditions can often be controlled and even cured.
It is our contention that medical help and counseling are far better remedies for the problems described above than police action.
http://www.dvmen.org
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Menopause is one of the aging diseases, this one gender related obviously. It is argued that menopause is natural. It is also argued that dying is natural. Why hurry it? Why wish it upon us? Smallpox is natural, too. So are all diseases, natural.
Quite correct about DoctorsGuide as having good sources:
http://www.docguide.com/dg.nsf/PrintPrint/8067A818 2D68EB29852568250065BAFA
"The American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists (AACE) believes that menopause is a state of hormone deficiency that should be treated and that every women should receive appropriate guidance and medical management during the menopausal years."
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I feel your current way to deal with DV is
Very hurtful to life at large to my children
and also our country. You have blamed
1/2 of this country for DV (men). And never
look at the real picture. I know, I am a
single parent and father. I spent much
time trying to understand my ex-wife and
why, And how is it I am a single parent now.
I know why now and it took me 5 years
to understand. I always thought it was all
my fault and what you do still makes it
my fault. I was sick seeing your adds on TV.
Please get a better picture of this problem
that is not a feminist agenda but a human agenda.
The men bad, women good stuff is wrong.
http://www.dvmen.org/dv.htm#DVtitlepage
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