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by Anonymous User on Monday July 16, @04:24PM EST (#1)
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Moost pro-feminist men at the end become
masculists.
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That's how it happened to me. It just walks up behind you one morning and clubs you over the head with a sledge hammer: you have no (real) male friends; all your friends are girls; you've alienated yourself from your own kind. It's a terrible feeling. I've been living with it since May of 2000, after I turned 15 (I'm 16 now, and not much better). I don't wish that feeling on any man. I hope these men come to their senses quickly, before they do any lasting damage. It took me 3 years. I hope they don't have to endure that.
--Jem
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Same here. Although perhaps my initial misandry came not so much from propaganda and more from growing up with a father who really did exemplify all the negative male stereotypes. He wasn't physically abusive or alcoholic, but he was (and is) very domineering, very prone to yelling, and pretty much discouraged any real democracy in our household because to look at him cross-eyed would inspire an immediate head-chomping. He learned this from his parents, who interact the same way.
Anyway, this inspired, in me, a fear and disdain for other men, whom I wrongly believed were all this way. I myself could never be so domineering, thus I could never hold my own with other men, and so I became convinced that I must avoid men like the plague or they'd run me down in a hurry. I befriended mostly women and listened to women and pretty much became an unspoken feminist.
But, a male feminist whose ideology springs from hatred of men - as opposed to the simple belief in fair and equal treatment - is never going to be a healthy feminist. He's either going to self-loathe himself into oblivion, or, one day, he's going to wake up and realize what a horrible, homophobic punishment he's doled out upon himself - when he realizes how emotionally and spiritually sickly he feels from lack of male companionship, and how he hates himself just as much as other men.
That, to me, is what homophobia really is. It's got nothing to do with homosexuality and is wrongly defined as straight men hating gay men. It's about men hating maleness in general, and rejecting it in ourselves and in other men in favor of pursuing a phantom mode of behavior known as "masculinity" which is not maleness in and of itself, but an augmentative way of living and being that makes an otherwise inferior male "acceptable" and "useful". For what is a man who is not masculine? He is simply male, and male is simply not good enough. Again, that's what homophobia really is, in men. I think such homophobia has always existed, but feminists have merely shifted it slightly and perhaps even increased it.
You'll notice that, even as feminists diagnose male emotional dependancy on women as coming from homophobia of this sort, they rarely seem to advise men to set about curing ourselves of it and certainly don't offer suggestions as to how we could do so. So, it's almost like they don't really want men to stop being dependant on women; they just want to give women the power to control that dependancy better so it doesn't threaten to harm them as much.
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I don't think I ever genuinely hated other men, but I do recognize that throughout much of my life I had more female friends than male, and was genuinely more sympathetic to the female point of view.
My dad is a great guy. He did go through a period when I was in my very early teens in which he was angry a lot, but it never became violent. It did deteriorate his health quite a bit, though (until he got into Tai Chi).
Now that I think about it, I've been pretty balanced in the male/female ratio of friendships throughout my life. Why I always automatically assumed that a female's opinion vs. a male was the "correct" one, I don't know. I blame society. :)
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