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I recognize it is the fashion to put down psychiatrists as taking a one dimentional approach to suicide. However, Water's reliance on Lynch's perspectives: "He argues that depression is a kind of refuge of the hurt, the rejected and the fearful, to which they go to escape further hurt, rejection or fear. He sees suicide as the final frontier in this process." Is also too limited.
A hard look at reality may drive many of us to despair. Add adolescent hormones and lack of social supports, and it is a wonder that the suicide rate isn't higher! Something must explain how the existential shift from bearing the torment to acting on the impulse to die takes place. Until I find a better answer, I'll not disguard brain chemistry.
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I loathe to admit this in such a public forum, but a few of you already know that I, at times, have been quite suicidal as a result of my depression and despair over the state of manhood. Sometimes the articles on this site elate me. Sometimes they destroy me. I am 30 now, and I cannot remember a time when it wasn't like this.
I have found a psychotherapist, however, who seems to understand. I've been seeing him every two weeks for the past six, and I think that I can feel myself beginning to develop greater confidence in facing these demons, just by laying it all out for someone else to hear (he seemms to know little about the men's movement, by the way, but so far he hasn't seemed trouble by it). I personally believe it is the feeling of powerlessness that comes as a result of all these external contradictions which causes a great deal of the depression.
As for brain chemicals, my psychotherapist had a psychiatrist prescribe Celexa for me to try. He says that the drugs are merely to get me over the initial "hump," especially if I've been suicidal, and that dealing with these issues is ultimately my responsibility.
So I've been taking Celexa for about a week, and I can't tell much difference (I have felt a bit more wired the past couple of days, though). They say it takes a good four weeks to really be able to tell. I can tell you that for the first time in more than two years I've slept an entire night without snapping awake at 2 or 3 a.m., and unable to return to sleep for a couple of hours.
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I saw this some time ago, and can only agree.
Every day I deal with guys that haven't had a kind word from anyone in years, sometimes. I send out virtual hugs every day, and read through what would be piles of material if it was printed.
These are most often very sad stories written by men who only want somebody to read and listen. They know I can't provide much or any practical help, I'm not a counselor or lawyer. I'm just an online lady who will say, "I understand."
It's an accident of my physiology that I can't shake hands in meeting settings. Shaking hands with 30 or 40 big strong men would put my hands out of commission for a week ;>) so I hug. I can do this, since I'm an old married lady.
So when I'm in a meeting, I hug. I hug my son's friends when they come to visit. I hug the old men at my dad's nursing home. I even hugged the kid at Staples yesterday. It's a little eccentric, I know, but hey. I get plenty of hugs at home--may as well share the extra ones!
T____
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Hello. I am from Québec. Québec is champion of
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Hello. I am from Québec. This region is the "champion" of the world for men's suicide. It is the first cause of death for 15-30 years old male. How sad, right. How difficult it is to change the direction...
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Sometimes a kind word is all what it takes. plus random hugs are a good thing.
unfortunatly i'm not a stranger to suicide, like Nightmist. I have tried to commit suicide three times in my life. Once in juinor high school, and twice in high school. the counselors were all women at both schools, so i didn't feel that there was anyone that i could really talk to.
but there was a program for girls and suicide due to self esteem issues. and yet i never heard of a single girls trying to commit suicide let alone accutually going through with it for all those years. but if i remember right, on average 4 or 5 boys had gone through with it per school year.
what we need is suicide help lines that are designed for men with men on the lines that KNOW what the guy at the other end is going through.
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Once I am over my "hump," nagzi, I'm planning on looking into whether such programs exist in my area. If they do not, I hope to try to start one (or help out if they do). No one should go through this kind of depression their whole lives (and I have). As males, perhaps, it is difficult for us to seek help in these types of extremely private hells. I finally did. And anyone out there who is experiencing the following symptoms on a chronic basis (some or all) should seek help:
* Depression irritability all day, almost every day
* Loss of enjoyment from hobbies or other activities
* Sudden change in eating habits
* Insomnia, or sleeping too much
* Others are noticing your constant agitation
* Constant fatigue
* Frequent feelings of worthlessness or guilt (or powerlessness)
* Difficulty concentrating/making decisions
* Frequent thoughts of suicide
End of preaching.
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