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Master Manipulator Flunks Her Own Class
Remember the '90's guide on finding a man through
manipulation, "The Rules", the book that women
purchased to the tune of 2 million copies? Well, its
co-authors have put out a sequel. Naturally, their new
book is a guide on helping women KEEP their men; it's
called, "The Rules for Marriage." According to a
report on ABC's "Primetime" this second book sounds
like more of the same shallow drivel that preceded it.
For example, one of the authors, Ellen Fein, is shown
pleading with the interviewer, "It works so well ...
it works so well," referring to a particular rule
which states: "The key to a romantic evening is to
pretend you're in a toothpaste commercial and smile,
smile, smile." Certainly, the most notable aspect of
the book has to be the story behind its
writing - co-author Fein was herself going through a
divorce while writing the book. The "Primetime"
segment shows Fein on a couple of occasions referring
to her own marriage in instructing "The Rules for
Marriage" seminar attendees, hordes of women who had
paid $50 a pop to hear how to avoid what Fein
obviously couldn't. Later in the segment, Fein
dismisses questions about her apparent inability to
keep her man by saying, "... I was too tired [to apply
all the rules] ...[and] I'm not here to talk about
whether I slipped with the rules or not." Yet, still,
the most interesting part of this story may be that
during the period Fein was writing the book and
simultaneously going through a divorce - she somehow
failed to mention the latter to her publisher. Only
because of a phone call from a reporter did Fein's
publisher find out, but by this time the book had
already been finished. Maybe Fein's real skill is in
manipulating publishers and the public, not men.
Bill Kuhl, bridgewater6729@yahoo.com
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Oh, man! This may be cold of me (or not), but I find it so gratifying that an "expert" on how to keep a marriage together (through manipulation of the partner, no less) couldn't keep together her own. I wish I knew more about the divorce. Was it her husband's idea? Was he tired of being manipulated? Or did he turn the tables and manipulate her? I wonder.
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I think the moment these girls attempt to quantify a marriage is when they lose it. A marriage is a dynamic relationship—it moves, changes and grows. So do the husband and wife.
That’s the exciting, wonderful thing about a long-term marriage. I’m not the same person I was 27 years ago; neither is my husband. Our entire relationship is different than it was when we first got together. We’ve helped each other through some really rough spots, and we stay together pretty much just to see what’s going to come up next!
I’ve never understood why women go into a relationship expecting to change the guy. Seems to me they could locate the right one in the first place. I did, and I’m not any cuter or smarter than other women. My husband tells me I’m so hot I could melt plastic furniture—but that’s because he’s my husband, and he loves me. I happen to think HE’s drop-dead, kick ass gorgeous, and he says that’s just because I’m his wife, and I love him.
Does it matter who’s tossing around the nice words? Not a bit. You just get into this habit, see, of being nice to each other and it sticks.
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To me, that author lost at her own game, by trying to change her man and play mindgames! I think maybe next time, she will learn that trying to spay, neuter, and soften up her man will not always bring a man or cause men to flock to her side...whatever that means! Anyhow, I think that author should try watching Men Are From Mars...Women Are From Venus!
Emmanuel Matteer
Emanslave@aol.com
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on the note of eliminating gender-based stereotypes, i remember reading a quote somewhere. "men are from earth, women are from earth. deal with it".
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Actually, women are from earth, and men are from women. See Why Males Exist: An Inquiry into the Evolution of Sex, by Fred Hapgood (out of print, but can be found used or in libraries) for the key to understanding "gender relations." Homo sapiens(?) may be moving in the evolutionary direction of the significant number of species (plant and animal, including reptiles, but so far no warm-blooded birds or mammals) that used to have males, but have dispensed with them--for instance a lizard in the New Mexico desert whose population consists only of females, no males. To reproduce, she lays an egg, which hatches into a clone of herself: the ultimate feminist fantasy. (Some such lizard species must engage in lesbian "sex" to stimulate ovulation.) Note: the distinguishing feature of such species is that they have effectively ceased to evolve.
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by Anonymous User on Monday May 14, @10:08AM EST (#6)
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I've heard of this science as well. I also know that many a science fiction writer has tirelessly pointed out the problem of stopping evolution when one simply starts cloning one's self as a means of species survival. I suppose there are two arguments to consider: 1) perhaps that species didn't need to evolve further; 2) perhaps that species stopped evolving because nature has decided it is time to eliminate it.
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