"Time to teach boys how not to be sexual predators"

Letter here. Excerpt:


I'd like to submit a response to Mike Lyga who, amid the sexual assault and harassment allegations of many high-powered men in positions of influence, is so very concerned with the definition of sexual assault in our society and how it may affect his courting practices.
Second, I would like to say to Mr. Lyga, and anyone else who thinks that this is the appropriate response to what's happening, that your statement implies that we should continue to question a woman's interpretations of a man's actions toward her. This has been the standard operating procedure of society for a very long time. What we are seeing play out is a tremendously important time in history for women. What we are seeing now is women pushing back against the status quo.
Yet, somehow, this shift is making many men uncomfortable. I wonder why their response to a situation like this is to try to defend themselves, instead of the victims? (I didn't put quotes around the word victim?)

I'll end with this. Women have been taught to do many things to defend ourselves against sexual assault. Maybe it's time we start teaching boys how NOT to be sexual predators instead.'

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Yet men are still expected form relationships with and get married to women, and have children, and are compelled to take the initiative. Or they aren't mature adults, they're man-children, Peter Pans, etc. Yet there's hardly anywhere they can approach women without it being potentially sexual harassment, stalking and even sexual assault with the absurdly expanded definitions. Yet this side of it is rarely mentioned, and when it is it gets ignored and dismissed. Men are put in a no-win situation whatever they do.

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To be a man and be happy in today's world, it isn't optional that you learn to truly not give a single flying (or walking, or sailing, or running) fuck about what others think of you or what you do. Knowing full well certain social values are well-attuned to place men in no-win situations, reject them. DE-INTERNALIZE those values, as a head-shrinker would say. Purge them from your learnt value judgments.

No one has ever called me a name because I did not want or seek to get a wife, LTR gf, etc., at any time. When they ask I simply say, "It's not worth the trouble or hassle of h@ving one," and that usually shuts up/shuts down the rude inquiry (as if my personal life or decisions thereof are ANYONE else's business anyway). If they ask or press (usually a female is inquiring), I tell them. That shuts them down if they didn't get the hint before.

MGTOW is about not just living your own life independent of women as a major influence and reaping the many rewards of doing so (you'd be amazed how much $$ you have been blowing on females once you stop doing so), but about de-programming yourself of the bullshit self-judgments and ways in which others evaluate you. It's about you, AS A MAN, locating your locus of control and moral center INSIDE yourself and not allowing external agents to operate it, either. Influence it, yes, but not operate it. As a modern psychologist might put it, it's about "claiming your power" in the face of people (women and men) who would use you or exploit you for their own purposes or try to make you feel inferior or treated in an inferior way because they get off on it or pass arbitrary judgments about you.

Some people are indeed toxic individuals. But, be careful; this term can be used as a stick to beat up on people who disagree with you and simply won't back down. Such people may indeed be toxic but not for that reason. A toxic person is one who DELIBERATELY shames/judges others in a no-win fashion, finding fault regardless of what others do. Plenty of people's parents, siblings, friends, spouses, can all be termed toxic *to them* b/c they target them with that kind of bullshit in particular. [SJWs leap to mind. Once some Facebook friend reveals him/herself to be an SJW (it's happened to me a couple times), my final post to them is something like "You're just a plain crazy bigot. I'm unfriending you." Then I do it.]

Step 1 of "claiming your power" is to identify these kinds of people in your life and eject them from it, and if they ask why, you say, "Because you are an asshole and as far as I am concerned I do not want to know you." Then make it stick. Block their number, do not reply to emails, exclude them from your life and social circle, unfriend them on social media. Any attempts on their part to contact you: reject completely.

If you need to call the cops on them, do it. Good riddance.

Steps 2-20 are a fair bit easier once you've done that. :)

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