Swingers party goes bad when 'jealous' wife attacks husband with minivan

Article here. Excerpt:

'A swingers party gone awry has led to a woman facing three felonies.
...
The 26-year-old female resident who called 911 told deputies she and her 31-year-old fiance had the Schomakers over for a swingers party. According to police, Amber Schomaker was downstairs with the female resident's fiance and her husband was upstairs with the female resident.

When the pair upstairs came down, Amber Schomaker slapped her husband and went outside. The other three people followed her, only to see her get in her minivan and drive toward them. The minivan went over the curb, onto the sidewalk, and toward the porch where her husband and their hosts were standing, the woman told police.

Both men had to jump out of the way to avoid being hit, the woman told deputies.

Amber Schomaker drove away, but came back a few minutes later and resumed a physical altercation with her husband.

The male resident and Amber Schomaker's husband gave similar accounts as to what had transpired. The husband said his wife attacked him because she was jealous.'

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Rule 1...

... of swinging: Don't get drunk before getting naked.

Doesn't sound like it was a party. No mention of others at the address. Sounds more like they just had another couple over to f-ck them, merely swapping partners and going to different floors to f-ck.

Ok. So why didn't they just have a foursome?

Well anyway, neither here nor there. Point is, if you're busy banging your friend's husband while your own husband's banging her, copping an attitude and trying to kill your old man after putting away a fifth or whatever is found nowhere in "The Modern Swingers' Boinkity-Boink Handbook", 56th edition.

But again, esp. after agreeing to it, whacking your beloved spouse via mini-van (someone please tell me... was this a "soccer mom van" she had?) because he was making your gf scream his name as you were *****ing her husband's **** is not a very enlightened way of dealing with your feelings.

Just.sayin'.

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